BARBARA: "Following the doctors' strike a man in Croydon had to have his leg removed when an ingrowing toenail turned septic.
After receiving an epidural, a woman in Epping gave birth to deformed triplets.
In Madrid, a man was shot dead during a botched supermarket robbery. While in Riga Latvia, a woman making an emergency phone call concerning the accidental death of her Pooch had her bag s...
Are You Gay but don't Know it? Maybe you don't shave twice a day, have seven girlfriends for each day of the week and have an interest in meditation?.. well this post is for you. If you are female maybe you have bigger questions in your life outside of ... "What do I do if I get pregnant?"
Your REAL identity can be discerned easily. Are you really homosexual and don't know it? So homosexual in...
After months of research and interviews with leading corporate executives, politicians, bankers and the clergy our economics editor at U-R-FKD magazine came up with the following simple portrait of our society and, indeed, most other societies on the planet.
What really is good for society and what isn't?... is his question. The singular finding is the pervasive and shared belief that what is '...
There is to be a new category in Next Years Oscar Academy Awards. It is called the "I am My Body" Award.
And it will go the the actors who can most successfully convince audiences that they are their bodies and nothing much else. "You are your bodies", sheeple. Believe it.
Possible recipients of the first award are:
FEMALE: Liza Minelli, Cate Blanchett, Susan Sarandon, Nicole Kidman, Helen...
Our reporter from U-R-FKD Magazine went along to the Café Royal London to interview Daniel Craig actor of the James Bond film series. Here is an excerpt from the encounter:
Q; Daniel...how did you get selected for the role of James Bond?
A: (Laughing); Somebody asked me... and here I am.
Q: Who asked you?
A: I'd rather not say.
Q: Are you worried by the fact that your character bear...
It was a hot day as Pope Francis addressed over ten thousand people today at the National Auditorium, Mexico City.
His Holiness, visibly tired from his hectic days of meetings with local dignitaries, diplomats and politicians seemed very thirsty as he availed himself freely from a large decanter of 'water'placed on a small table by his throne.
Pope Francis's Address in Mexico City
(1) When she is in heat... the traits of a killer carnivore.
(2) When she is not in heat... the traits of a florist who grows his own flowers and/or to look smoochy on the dance floor.
(3) Money. Shit loads of it.
(4) Unanimous approval from her friends.
(5) When in heat... he must boast an IQ of three, know how to grunt with abandon and have a hairy chest.
(6) When not in heat... h...
A janitor at the famous Caesar's Palace Las Vegas claimed he not only saw Frank Sinatra the famous singer in a dressing room he was cleaning but had a long conversation with his ghost.
A reporter from Follywood Fortnightly, LA's most prestigious variety magazine was invited to meet with the janitor. The janitor took the reporter to Frank's old dressing room and shouted;
Out of an...
KIM KARDASHIAN ROCKED UP TO RIHANNA'S FIRST DIAMOND BALL BENEFIT IN A PLUNGING LEOTARD WITH MESH NETTING. Friends say this is a radical departure for her. Kim has also been made an offer by Air Canada to model her bum for new hot air balloon.
MOTHER OF NINETEEN CHILDREN VOWS "NEVER TO GET PREGNANT AGAIN".
FRANK BRUNO GIVEN ALL CLEAR BY DOCTORS TO RESUME BOXING... BUT MAY HAVE T...
Our reporter at U-R-FKD talked to Dr. Zoroaster Pike of the Tavistock Mind Control Unit in London to get his views on the recent announcement that Britain has got the go-ahead to conduct genetic research into human embryos.
Critics are worried that it masks other concerns outside of human welfare that could have far reaching consequences for all of us. We could be at the mercy of mad back room...
We met up with the perpetually elusive Brit artist Banksy at a pub in Soho London, the same pub ironically where J.K Rowling allegedly met her future publishing agent Christopher Little. Banksy wore a woollen mask and shades. Our reporter from "Hoodwinked" recorded the conversation.
An Interview with Banksy
Q. Would you call yourself a capitalist?
B. No way. Loathe it.
Q. Why do you st...
There are many things which ruin mankind's faith in God. Here is a selection of the biggest causes, in descending order:
2. Greasy, fat, corrupt, middle-aged photographers surrounded by beautiful women who do what they tell them no matter how denigrating or violating.
3. Natural disasters such as earthquakes and George Bush Junior.
4. Unnatural disasters such as 9/11 and G...
Ten Reasons Why you are Skint.
1. Your parents want you to get to heaven and only skint people they fervently believe go there say the holy books. Your parents may wear Shamrocks, turbans, beads and feathers or Eskimo hats, it really doesn't matter. You are mandated to stay skint for the rest of your natural because it would break their hearts if you didn't. After all they have suffered for you...
Wall Street New York
Our Financial Times Reporter.
Life has been floated on the US Stocks share market. It opened at a dollar a share. Dividends are rewarded per percentage yield converted into minutes and hours of extra life. It has no basis in reality, of course, but like money itself depends entirely on consensus belief for its existence. Speculators believe that if they can accumulate enough...
Mental Toughness Training is all the rage in America. It is promoted by the National Strength and Conditioning Association who, like the Scientologists, have written copiously on the subject. It is defined as "grit and determination to achieve one's long-term goals and to exercise combative skills and strength against one's adversaries." It could become big business.
U-R-FKD Magazine recently d...
Our reporter from U-R-FKDmagazine met up with Illuminati member Sir Reginald Adder at the National Liberal Club London. Sir Reggie does not confess to being a member of the Illuminati but our reporter who is a distant cousin knows it to be a fact, hence his ability to gain access to Adder in the first place. The subject he wished to find his response to was ISIS and its current vendetta against th...
(1) Claiming that you are "irish". Nobody wakes up in the morning thinking they are Irish. An 'Irish' beard has never been shaved by an 'Irish' razor.
(2). Seeking recognition for doing something exceptional. Taboo is that. That is why the Irish are hopeless at anything competitive. "Who da fuck duz he tink he is?" is an effective deterrent against the very thought of trying to win at ANYTHING.
The following is quoted directly from a The Spoof.com article dating from November 2013. Savile was connected to almost 600 cases of abuse in total. Inquiry into Savile's past began immediately after his death in October 2011. This resulted in a Newsnight program that was hastily stopped from being screened.
The Spoof article concerned a a Bookies' bogus view of the official police inquiry tha...
In a survey from Thailand to Morocco men's magazine "U-R-FKD" discovered that men's taste in women had not changed over thousands of years.
Certain key traits however seemed to predominate over the centuries.
If Cleopatra turned men on with her brains as well as her beauty many more found success in the absence of both.
It really devolved to who the male was as women seemed to tick eve...
Fritz Schillings son of Keith Schillings of the Schillings global legal firm that deal with defamation notably of the high and mighty... and who have many celebrities on its books including J.K. Rowling... has begun a career in music. This is a big surprise to those who know him as his penchant for musical expression is a complete mystery to all of them.
Nevertheless, Fritz has released a new...
Jake Slater is a top hitman for the CIA. Now nearing retirement he dreams of becoming a writer. This is his supreme passion, apart from murder.
By chance, he meets Yvonne Badcheck while walking his dog along Miami beach and they quickly form a relationship.
"I have never met anyone like you," she tells him. "You seem so cold and distant ... and yet... your poetry speaks to the heart. I wept w...
Among the belongings of the late great Irish writer and dramatist Brendan Behan has been discovered a short Romantic poem.
Seemingly, Behan had visited the great Irish jump race meeting at Cheltenham in the spring of 1961 and wrote the poem on the back of a bookie slip that he evidently intended to throw away. It may well have been written by him for his own amusement. It is a parody on the wo...