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Funny story: The Unhappy Famous

The Unhappy Famous

Suicide bombers' favourite magazine "What-Makes-U-Tick" recently did a biographical study of the rich and famous. It is soon to be made into a fifteen part Television Series by CNN. It appears that few, if any of them, were actually happy with their station in life. Envied by millions all over the world, yet they felt they would have been much happier as somebody else. The article titled "...
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Funny story: Want to be Rich?

Want to be Rich?

In a recent survey of successful people UR-FUKT Magazine discovered what it takes to really "be somebody". Business editor Eileen Dover said she was amazed at just how many beliefs the rich and powerful had in common, many of them held with passionate conviction. So here is a compilation of ten of their responses for your inspiration. 1. Never give a sucker an even break. You do people...
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Funny story: Ten Things You Didn't Know About Guinness

Ten Things You Didn't Know About Guinness

1. Africans are black because they drink the stuff. 2. Guinness doesn't travel well. You drink enough of it you will be lucky to make it to the bathroom. 3. It is referred to fondly in Ireland as "liquid viagra". 4. Guinness taken in sufficient quantities produces all the affects of Oscar Wilde. 5. Irish bookmakers give free Guinness to all their customers; but they must drink at least...
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Funny story: How to Know if You are Brainwashed

How to Know if You are Brainwashed

How many of these insane beliefs have you bought into? If you are afflicted with one you are in bad shape. If you are afflicted with more than one you are a zombie. Here is the belief system of the brainwashed commonly called 'culture'. It gets piped into your brain, wherever you are... 24/7. (1). Government is set up for your welfare. That is why it is not allowed to print its own money. Y...
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Funny story: Hugh Hefner Liquefies

Hugh Hefner Liquefies

America woke up this morning to the news that their global sex guru Hugh Hefner had passed away. It is not so much the fact of his passing, for he was approaching his 89th birthday on April... but the manner. Our reporter for "U2R-FKD" followed the story. His housemaid for this month Eileen Dover who wishes to be known simply as "Miss February" broke the news. "Well, I went up to his bedroom as...
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Funny story: Ten Tips for a Healthy and Happy Life

Ten Tips for a Healthy and Happy Life

Magazine UR-FKD's Health & Fitness Section has listed the following tips for a healthy mind in a healthy body. Several food chains and media outlets are threatening to sue the editor. 1. Understand the world is run by crooked, greedy people who think they are 'superior' to you and because the are 'superior' to you they actually own the world and everything in it... including you. You and yo...
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Funny story: God Speaks to Earth from Heaven

God Speaks to Earth from Heaven

Last night, the whole of Europe was brought to a standstill when, exactly at midnight, a white-haired, bearded figure appeared on every television set on the continent. Crowds poured out of pubs and restaurants, many of them hysterical; public transport came to a halt as millions gathered in city squares and churches. The Pope appealed for calm; but nobody was listening to him. The followi...
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Funny story: Ten Worst Things to say to Your Therapist

Ten Worst Things to say to Your Therapist

1. I don't know why I'm here. 2. How do I know you are not crazier than me? 3. There is no such thing as the unconscious. 4. I'll pay you if I get cured. 5. Who was the crazier between Freud and Jung? 6. I don't want prescribed any drugs. 7. My daddy is a psychotherapist. That's why I'm here. 8. I think politicians should be psychologically tested before they stand for office...
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Funny story: Fascism... Communism... What's the Diff?

Fascism... Communism... What's the Diff?

The following is taken verbatim from the George. W. Bush Institute's website (www.bushcenter.org). It's avowed aim is to spread the growth of what it calls 'freedom' around the world. In other words, the world belongs exclusively to America and no country can imagine it has the right to govern itself or think to escape its all-controlling hegemony. Of North Korea it says.... "More than 24 mi...
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Funny story: Brain Scientist Loses Plot

Brain Scientist Loses Plot

Our reporter from "DEMOCRACY R.I.P" went along to the Tavistock Institute London to interview leading neuroscientist Professor Kurt Lobe who works there as scientific advisor. It was in relation to a recent article published in the Washington Post concerning new discoveries in brain functioning. We put several searching questions to the eminent scientist currently in line for a Nobel Prize for...
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Funny story: The Best Dream He Ever Had

The Best Dream He Ever Had

On reflection, he was more than happy that he had lived to experience such an event, however unreal it may have appeared at the time. He could see it all clearly now. Gazing up at the stars that seemed suddenly close and friendly he could not help but replay the scene over and over in his mind. To a stunned and packed Senate gathering President Barack Obama got slowly to his feet to announce th...
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Funny story: The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever

The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever

How many of these embarrassing moments have you experienced? 1. Being fired for "total incompetence" in front of all your colleagues. 2. Accidentally stumbling across your new bride screwing her ex-beau on a snooker table during your wedding reception while you were searching the hotel rooms for the surprise honeymoon gift you had been keeping for her for months; a whirlwind trip for two to...
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Funny story: Religion Drives Man Crazy

Religion Drives Man Crazy

On the evidence of the witness who inhabited the flat beneath the defendant's the judge had no hesitation but to refer the defendant for psychiatric evaluation. The charges of malicious damage to property and disturbing the peace were dropped on compassionate grounds. The judge had reached the decision after questioning the witness thoroughly and allowing his tape recording of the events leadi...
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Funny story: Obama Introduces Educational Reforms

Obama Introduces Educational Reforms

To a packed gathering of invited newspaper journalists at the Press Room of the White House, President Obama has announced sweeping reforms of the U.S. education system. The speech was greeted by rapturous applause,... except for one man whom security had to bundle from the hall for swearing obscenities about "lies!", "damned hypocrisy!", and "fascist mind control!". Here is the speech in fu...
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Funny story: Pope Francis's Guide to Happiness

Pope Francis's Guide to Happiness

1. "LIVE AND LET LIVE." "The Pope refers to not judging others and letting them continue with their lives in a way that best suits them." Really? Would the Church even exist if it had followed this? Remember the Crusades, the so-called Holy Wars, the pact with Hitler? The forcible conversion of natives? The indoctrination of the faithful through the Catholic school system? The exploit...
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Funny story: "Homophobicmania" and Gender Identity

"Homophobicmania" and Gender Identity

It had to happen, "homophobia", so-called, has developed into a new hyper-version of itself that requires an entirely new approach from the psychiatric profession. Cases of extreme homophobia have been known to psychiatry for a long time but, not until now has the new strain been properly diagnosed. And no case ever required actual hospitalisation.... until recently. Explained Dr. Jock Manw...
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Funny story: Two Irish Kids Discuss Reincarnation

Two Irish Kids Discuss Reincarnation

The following is based on an actual conversation between two 10 year-old Irish kids on the problems posed by the difficult theory of reincarnation. Charles' dad is into Buddhism, Phil's parents are Catholics. They both attend the same school....a Catholic school. Phil: Why do we have to die? Charles: So's we can come back. Phil: Back here? What for? Charles: So that we can become gooder...
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Funny story: Paddy O'Shea, Pope Francis and Blasphemy

Paddy O'Shea, Pope Francis and Blasphemy

"Pope Francis has defended freedom of expression following last week's attack on French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo - but also stressed its limits. The Pontiff said religions had to be treated with respect, so that people's faiths was not insulted or ridiculed. To illustrate his point, he told journalists that his assistant could expect a punch if he cursed his mother." (BBC report)...
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Funny story: "Terror Tales will Come True" Blockbuster on the Way

"Terror Tales will Come True" Blockbuster on the Way

Hot on President Obama's blessing to release the new Bond Movie SPECTRE and his endorsement of the anti-North Korean film "The Interview", Hollywood is soon to release a new movie called, "Terror Tales will Come True". The film will be a One Bare Leg production under the Warner Bros label in conjunction with Rockefeller Enterprises, Happy Films, Pike Inc, Con-Artists Media Corp, Two-Thumbs-Up-...
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Funny story: Archaeologists Unearth Incredible Jesus Document

Archaeologists Unearth Incredible Jesus Document

An investigation into the execution of Jesus Christ was commissioned by the Jerusalem Council after his death. In a remarkable find, archaeologists digging in Jerusalem have come across an actual transcript of the minutes of that historic council meeting. The following members of the council... Rabbis Joachim, Saul and Jacob present their findings to chairman Moses Ishmael. Moses: So, let...
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Funny story: Archaeologists Find Letter from Pontius Pilate

Archaeologists Find Letter from Pontius Pilate

Archaeologists excavating along the North West coast of Palestine close to where Pontius Pilate had his palace have made a remarkable find. It is a letter written on papyrus. Experts are not sure if it is a copy or not. Was it ever sent? Did Tiberius Caesar read it and respond? If not, we could well be living now in a very different world indeed. Because what they unearthed is a letter from Po...
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Funny story: Jesus's Lost Parable Found

Jesus's Lost Parable Found

The Synod of Hippo in AD 393 was a gathering of Catholic bishops who established the contents of the Bible. A definitive list of books now currently in use did not come into existence until the Council of Trent (1545-63) was set up to counteract the Reformation by bringing clarity to the Church's teaching. Biblical scholar Dr. Flynn O'Toole from Trinity College Dublin while doing research on t...
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Bush Copyright

George Bush Senior has taken out copyright on the phrase "New World Order" that he made popular. Anybody using the phrase without his permission will be sued.
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