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Funny story: This Week's Top 20 Chart of Best Selling Records

This Week's Top 20 Chart of Best Selling Records

THIS WEEK'S BEST SELLING RECORDS. Top 20 1. Now I Must Die. Help me... Please! Please! Please! 2. Tomorrow I Must die. Or... the day after. 3 Stop Hurting me. Please... Please... before I kill you. 4. Without You, what is the use of Living? 5. If You Go Away I will die from dope or alcohol, just to Please you. 6. I Can't Live with or Without you. I am a Freemason. 7. If you go Away, so mu...
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Funny story: Guru Merde Wilson

Guru Merde Wilson

The following story is indebted to Anthony de Mello. "Merde" (real name Jean) Wilson was a knock-kneed youth with freckles that never left him until the day he died. He had red hair and crooked teeth and, despite his six feet in stature, never lost his slim build. His eyesight was none too good either; he wore thick glasses all his life. The boy's parents both died when their car spun off...
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Funny story: Henry Kissinger on "Depopulation"

Henry Kissinger on "Depopulation"

We met Dr. Henry Kissinger during a brief visit to Washington's Grand Masonic Lodge where he was guest of honour recently for his sterling work on behalf of the New World Order. We asked him some searching questions: "Is it true that you were a Soviet Spy?" He laughed: "No, of course not. The rumour came about because I was giving military secrets to the Soviet Union." "How do you loo...
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Funny story: The Pestilential Carriers of the New World Order

The Pestilential Carriers of the New World Order

A Badminton Club's committee in Clapham South London is outraged at its possible political connections. Lately, against stern opposition from "myriad sources", said its chairman Alex Batwood, "we decided to form a new committee. After all, none of us knew who these people were. They just appeared out of nowhere." Set up earlier this year by The Young Group it seemingly had no idea of its paren...
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Funny story: SIMILAR2 - A Computer Program to Make you Famous

SIMILAR2 - A Computer Program to Make you Famous

A new computer program called "SIMILAR2" has been devised by a leading publishing agency in London. Arnold Galbraith, the inventor, and rumoured to be a 33rd Degree Freemason whose father was allegedly a Jesuit priest in charge of Vatican Publicity, told our "Nabbed" reporter: "We developed SIMILAR2 for our own writers. Basically, all writing is a matter of ideas, so we figured to help people...
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Funny story: Prince Charles Declares His Innocence

Prince Charles Declares His Innocence

"The Queen's 2013 Ascot Gold Cup heroine Estimate has tested positive for the banned substance morphine, Buckingham Palace has announced." (News broadcast July/22/2014). An Interview with Prince Charles, courtesy of the popular investigative magazine "Nabbed". Prince Charles seated in the Windsor reading room beneath a large painting of an Arabian horse by Freemason George Stubbs seemed qui...
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Funny story: Pensioner Gunned Down in London

Pensioner Gunned Down in London

Paddy O'Flynn had had enough it seems. He had decided to apply to his local housing authority for help with his rent having vacated his old house and moved into a rented apartment in Clapham Common, South London. That is where his troubles began. His wife Caitlin takes up the story. "They sent him a form to fill in. It was thick as the London Times. For three months he tried to figure it o...
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Funny story: Weird Survey

Weird Survey

In a weird survey conducted by Harvard's Neuroscience Department some interesting findings are being discussed. College and University students were asked to list in descending order WHO THEY WOULD LEAST WANT TO BE AS THEY BREATHED THEIR LAST. The most recurring choices were... 1. Henry Kissinger. 2. Barack Obama 3. George Bush Senior. 4. George Bush Junior. 5. Donald Rumsfeld. 6. Tony Bla...
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Funny story: Conspiracy Theory Breakthrough

Conspiracy Theory Breakthrough

A new drug has been developed to combat what its manufacturers' claim is an increasing rise in what it calls "conspiracy theory syndrome". We went along to F.U. Pharamceuticals in Baltimore to interview leading research scientist there Dr. Hugh.B.Still. I asked the doctor: "Do you believe there is a need for this drug?" "Our research shows that the need is overwhelming. We see the syndrom...
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Funny story: What Price 'Democracy'?

What Price 'Democracy'?

A new law has been passed in Washington. Nobody with assets of less than $50 million will henceforth be allowed to stand for political office. President Obama has announced the move as a "triumph for democracy". George Bush said it was "long overdue" and is a welcome move in the "war against terrorism". Pope Francis has sent a telegram of congratulations saying "God and the Banco Ambrosian...
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Funny story: Tibet Our Enemy says Cheney

Tibet Our Enemy says Cheney

Dick Cheney has announced in a recent press conference attended exclusively by newspapers friendly to the president that Tibet was now on the list of America's known terrorists. Said Mr. Cheney: "We have reliable evidence that Tibetan yak farmers have been smuggling weapons of mass destruction via their flocks into neighbouring Nepal. Nepal, as you know, has been a sworn enemy of the United S...
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Funny story: Bilderberg Conference on Terrorism

Bilderberg Conference on Terrorism

This special Bilderberg Conference was held in Madrid at the request of Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy. Officiating as usual was Satan. Compere was Jimmy Savile. Musical interlude was supplied by the late Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Elvis and Sammy Davis. Drinks were served by Obama Bin Laden. Seated regally on his golden throne wearing his black silk cloak, feet on desk and fingering his mala...
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Funny story: Schizophrenia... Not What it Seems.

Schizophrenia... Not What it Seems.

Los Angeles: Psychologists at LA's Psychological Research Unit have come up with a new view of schizophrenia. Explained Dr. Ty Polar: "It would seem to us that schizophrenia is more a socially/family conditioning phenomenon and not, as we presupposed, a genetic fault. In our Post Modernist world, alternative views of reality are axiomatic. Alternative ways of seeing things are prevalent in...
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Funny story: Bloom, Publisher and Advertiser, on Gender.

Bloom, Publisher and Advertiser, on Gender.

It was the first thing I noticed as the beautiful Pamela his secretary led me in, the view from the many tall windows, the whole of Manhattan. The second thing was the massive desk, must have weighed a ton or more and looked like an altar. Then there were the paintings, Hockney, Smart, Dobell, Jasper Johns; I figured they had something in common but didn't know at the time what it was. Cabinets ev...
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Funny story: Bookies Give Further Odds on the Savile Enquiry.

Bookies Give Further Odds on the Savile Enquiry.

It is over a year now and bookies throughout the UK are rubbing their hands with glee over their book on the Jimmy Savile case. Many of their odds were based on a 12 months period. Apparently they cleaned up. As you may recall some of their odds were as follows... (1) Investigation will plod along until the media are ordered from on high to dumb it down out of existence and to "pursue it no...
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Funny story: Redemption For Sale!

Redemption For Sale!

"Inner Make-Over" - best selling book by Jeremy Enditstein that was recently featured on the Oprah Winfrey show has now launched itself as an American franchise. Said director of the new found company appropriately called INNER-MAKE-OVER "the company is built squarely on Jeremy's philosophy of inner renewal. It involves all aspects of retrieving a sense of worth and self-respect leading to greater...
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Funny story: 'Obama' Tells the Truth

'Obama' Tells the Truth

President Barack O'Bama known to his Masonic brothers as "BOB the Builder" has made a surprise announcement. "We have decided unanimously to no longer pursue our New World Order plans. In the last 58 years since the end of the Second World War we have attacked at least one country a year and banjaxed many more internally. "We will no longer be doing that. We will no longer be supporting tot...
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Funny story: Nasal Warfare. Not to be Sneezed At.

Nasal Warfare. Not to be Sneezed At.

Magazine "Hollywood Insiders" says the NOSE will be the media focus of body attention in the next decade. This is to prepare everybody for the planned lethal virus that will be spread by the sneeze. Nose awareness will ensure the disaster will not be too unexpected. 'Depopulation' so-called (or mass-extermination for the non-poetic among you) is the call. The ground has already been laid by...
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Funny story: El Porco D'Oro - The Golden Pig

El Porco D'Oro - The Golden Pig

The team behind the phenomenal "Price is Right" have launched a new TV game show. Called "EL PORCO D'ORO" or "The Golden Pig", it is sweeping America. To advertize for ten seconds during the show will cost half a million dollars. CNN executives are delighted and Jerry Springer says he is "disappointed" he wasn't asked to compere. It is in fact being compered by Ozzie Ozbourne. How does it work...
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Funny story: Protest.. a Thing of The Past.

Protest.. a Thing of The Past.

Interview our magazine "Time To Move" had with Health Minister Al Ranon. Q: So you propose to increase the amount of fluoride in the water? A: Yes, to prevent tooth decay. Teeth has always been of major concern to us as a nation, much more so than cancer for instance for which there is no known cure. Successive governments have always supported cancer. Q: What about mind decay? A: Too...
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Funny story: Jerusalem: City of culture

Jerusalem: City of culture

Derry is by no means the only city in the world that ever got the "City of Culture" gong. A lost book by ancient historian Josephus could set the world alight if it is released to the public. Archaeologists came across the script in a cave near the Dead Sea and believe it to be genuine. It describes in detail what exactly happened to Jesus Christ. According to Josephus, Jerusalem had been g...
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Funny story: Taxidermy to be Compulsory in US Schools

Taxidermy to be Compulsory in US Schools

At a special meeting of Hollywood moguls, and for the first time in a decade, Lucifer appeared in person to announce some startling political and educational reforms. With him were some select members from the Bilderberg cabal, Henry Kissinger, Bill Clinton, Rupert Murdoch and two banking members of the Rothchilds. After the usual toasts and child sacrifices the Dark Prince looking splendid in his...
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Breaking News...

Fat Albert Disassociates Himself from Bill Cosby

Most people thought I was just a character made up by Bill Cosby, or maybe just one of his multiple personalities, but I'm real and I'm tired of Cosby telling me I have to remain fat "for my image!"
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