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Funny story: Chemical Warfare not Okay

Chemical Warfare not Okay

The use of chemicals against civilians in Syria has caused considerable controversy in the highest political echelons with the UN coming out in force to condemn it. Here are two comments worth considering. Said Lt.Col. Clement Mason, head of the US Military: "We have taught the world that it is okay to kill people in pursuit of monetary gain... and when it comes to feathering one's nest mo...
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Funny story: The New Atomic Bomb called "Cuddles"

The New Atomic Bomb called "Cuddles"

"Cuddles" they call it... the new bomb developed by NUKEM a pan American-European nuclear research station based near Berne in Switzerland. Yesterday, the United Nations voted for its use "should the situation demand it". "Global-I" talked to managing director of NUKEM, and Nobel Prize winning physicist, Dr. Kant Getiton. "Can you describe what Cuddles actually is? How does it differ from othe...
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Funny story: Bookies Offer Odds on Pope and Berlusconi

Bookies Offer Odds on Pope and Berlusconi

A leading bookkeeper has drawn up a book on the possibilities surrounding the disgraced Italian Prime Minister and Bunga Bunga media tycoon Silvio Berlusconi's jail sentence for corrupting minors. I spoke with CEO Jimmy Alyercash. He explained as follows: "1/3 is very good odds that Berlusconi will be acquitted on an appeal. The whole trial looks to us to have been a fix-up so that he would...
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Funny story: New Mental Illness Widespread says Doctor

New Mental Illness Widespread says Doctor

Reggie Mental editor of "Get Out of My Mind" details a recent interview he had with Swiss psychiatrist Dr. Fiddler ... all about a new mental illness his team of researchers claim to have discovered. "Paranoia we all know about and nobody wants. Hence the new social fear on a par with any other phobia.... it is called Paranoia-Phobia. Yes, the fear of being paranoid. Already medication, a deri...
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Funny story: New TV Show To Sweep America

New TV Show To Sweep America

"CONTROL CHALLENGE" That is the name of the quiz show that is destined to sweep America and its franchise is likely to stretch all over the world. The brain behind it is Arnold Webstein who used to work as a secretary in the White House, and he takes up the story. While I was there I was astonished just how much in the dark we were kept about who really was making decisions at the top, what...
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Funny story: BBC On Forthcoming Rowling Series

BBC On Forthcoming Rowling Series

Investigative Journal "Wegos Where Egos" put a series of questions to a top CEO of the newly restructured BBC concerning their intention to turn the ill-fated Casual Vacancy allegedly written by J.K. Rowling into a TV series. For legal reasons we are not permitted to print the questions that were asked but after much debate with Rowling's legal team we were permitted to print the answers which...
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Funny story: Latest Bilderberg Conference Under Way

Latest Bilderberg Conference Under Way

The latest Bilderberg conference is under way at its orignal location is Coventry's Masonic Hall London. Attending as usual are the world's most powerful individuals including the Murdochs, the Clintons, the Blairs and Browns, Peter Mandelson, industrial magnates and armaments manufacturers from around the globe. Satan, looking younger than his thirty-four years and devilishly attractive as a...
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Funny story: Bristol Man Hot Favourite for Turner Prize

Bristol Man Hot Favourite for Turner Prize

Controversial artist Miles Taipan is thought to be hot favourite for next years Turner Prize. Miles' last 'piece' for which he shat upon one of the lions in Trafalgar Square went viral on Utube and made headlines around the world. The actual excrement was gathered up by his curator and sold on Ebay. His proposed piece for next year's Turner threatens to be just as controversial. Some critics consi...
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Funny story: Savile Inquiry - Bookies Tighten the Odds

Savile Inquiry - Bookies Tighten the Odds

Bookies in the UK are now taking a more level headed approach to the Jimmy Savile inquiry and are offering the following odds in the case. Odds Against politicians appearing in the dock on paedophilia charges resulting from inquiry. (1) One politician appearing.... 33/1. (2) Two politicians appearing... 50/1. (3) More than two... 1000/1. (4) Member of the cabinet appearing...2000/1. (5)...
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Funny story: Bookies Offering New Odds on Armageddon

Bookies Offering New Odds on Armageddon

Several UK Bookmakers have spread their interest in the latest developments in the Savile case. They are now offering odds on the following: (1) Many Freemasons and some of those who run their organization particularly those living in Scotland are corrupt. 1/10 (2) Many lawyers and barristers operating in the UK and some judges and their peers are corrupt. 1/10 (3) Many working in the Sec...
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Funny story: Bookies' odds on Jimmy Savile case - place bets now!

Bookies' odds on Jimmy Savile case - place bets now!

Bookmakers throughout Britain have opened a book on the investigation into the Jimmy Savile affair. They are offering odds on the following. (1) Investigation will plod along until the media are ordered from on high to dumb it down out of existence and to "pursue it no further" blah, blah, blah and it simply disappears as the public are lulled back into televisual narcosis. 3/1 (2) Invest...
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Funny story: Rowling's New Book

Rowling's New Book

Speculation is rife as to the plot of J.K. Rowling's new book for adults. Her first editor Barry Cunningham was unavailable for comment. Ian Rankin, friend of Rowling's and Scotland's most renowned thriller writer was also unavailable for comment. Geoffrey Archer was not available for comment either. Just who her present editor is remains a mystery. However, in a recent poll among the UK's leading...
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Funny story: New Scotland Yard investigation a red herring?

New Scotland Yard investigation a red herring?

Here is an interview with Chief Superintendent Hamish McSporrin leading the recently re-opened investigation of the Maddie McCann case by Scotland Yard. In line for a knighthood some say, Mr.Sporrin, a graduate of Edinburgh University, was once a director of MI5. The investigation was launched by Prime Minister David Cameron. Q: The British public are of course paying for this investigation so...
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Funny story: Lucifer Chairs Bilderberg Conference

Lucifer Chairs Bilderberg Conference

The annual Bilderberg meeting comprising the most powerful men on the planet is currently under way at a secret location in Italy. This conference draws up and implements policies for ruling the world. Resolutions are voted on and passed to world leaders. A Bilderberg conference conceived and launched the EEC. Chairing this years meeting is Lucifer himself. Hence the manic secrecy concerning wh...
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Funny story: "The Perfect Gentleman" Survey

"The Perfect Gentleman" Survey

A survey was recently conducted throughout colleges in Europe and America to find out the world's PERFECT GENTLEMAN past and present. Females of all ages, mostly in the 18-30 group were asked to read biographical material on a list of twenty subjects. Physical descriptions were kept to a minimum to hide the subjects' identities. Candidates were asked to mark in terms of (1) looks (2) sex appe...
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Funny story: NEQUOIA - a Cure at Last!

NEQUOIA - a Cure at Last!

After 'bipolar' comes a new mental disorder - NEQUOIA. Comes from the Latin "nequeo" meaning "to be impossible". To find out what it was all about I called on Dr. Fritz Krakkers at his clinic in Los Angeles where he and his team do research for several government agencies on mental abnormalities and their cures. His office overlooks the luscious lawns of a nearby golf course and contains all t...
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Funny story: Come back Ned Kelly!

Come back Ned Kelly!

Cork Examiner: In an interview with secretary to the British Minister for Foreign Relations surprising revelations have been made with regards to Australia. Constantine Pertwee who has been secretary to a number of Ministers in the department was frank and forthcoming to our reporter Paddy Reilly in a recent in-depth interview. Here is an extract. R: So, what exactly is the present government's...
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Funny story: Uproar in the House of Commons

Uproar in the House of Commons

There was uproar in the House of Commons last Wednesday during question time. The question put by Patrick Freeman seemed to many, naive and out of sync with the House's pragmatic approach to questions of governance; but its effect was undeniable. He had asked if government would take active measures to curb "national gullibility" in the wake of a general world wide acknowledgement of the...
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Funny story: The Dalai Lama's Boot Camp called "Transience"

The Dalai Lama's Boot Camp called "Transience"

I am Theo Seemore, editor of "Oculus" a magazine devoted to enlightenment. Recently I traveled to Poona in India to meet with The Dalai Lama. I was interested in the clinic he had established there and which he runs with his monks. Called "Transience" it deals with an unusual type of invalid, one which we in the West do not consider an invalid at all. I met Tibet's great spiritual leader in hi...
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Funny story: Entertainment Laid On for the Royal Wedding

Entertainment Laid On for the Royal Wedding

Prior to their departure for a two-week honeymoon in Blackpool the royal couple Prince Willam and Kate and guests will be entertained by some of the world's top perforrmers during their wedding banquet. On the list are: Satan; who will give a rendition of "God Save the Queen" on the didgeridoo, his favourite instrument. Bono and U2, blasting out some of their biggest hits including the...
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Funny story: Those Unable to Attend the Royal Wedding

Those Unable to Attend the Royal Wedding

Excuses, excuses! From Rolfo Toiletto, Master of Ceremony for the royal wedding - the editor of "Crack" (magazine devoted to the lifestyles of the aristocracy) managed to secure a list of all those who will not be attending the royal wedding and their excuses. Here are some of them: Germaine Greer: "I can hardly support my tits these days let alone the drooping institution of marriage." Sir...
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Funny story: Male Equality League Publishes Manifesto

Male Equality League Publishes Manifesto

The Male Equality Alliance League (MEAL) that boasts some very prominent figures including many politicians and has a list of over two million members has just published its Manifesto. To qualify for membership you have to be divorced and been out of a relationship for at least six months. The aim of MEAL is to protect men in relationships from violent or destructive partners. Lance Sidebottom...
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Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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