COOS BAY, OREGON - Peggy Johnson is only 43, but she is the head of one of the newest and fastest growing women's organizations in the U.S. since Sue Ellen Cooper started The Red Hat Society was started in 1998.
Johnson's organization is called "The Evergreen Gals", in reference to evergreen trees that have leaves in all four seasons.
"Members of 'The Evergreen Gals' are dedicated to being...
Any observer of a kindergarten class can easily determine why boys should be kept at home for at least one more years:
1. While the little girls are sitting quietly at their desks, the little boys are ON the desks.
2. While little girls are sleeping at nap time, little boys are tying little girls' braids to chair legs.
3. Little boys think finger paint is war paint.
4. Paste is fo...
2. slimy brussel sprouts
3. crab salad with red and white imitation crab
4. people who pick up salad items with their fingers
5. people who put back salad items with their fingers
6. little kids who are shorter than the sneeze guard
7. lickers and tasters
8. containers with contents that are almost used up
10. days old mushrooms
Question: How much money does a sheepherder make?
Answer: Just enough to buy oil for my oil burning lantern and a sack of flour for making biscuits.
Question: Why sheep?
Answer: Why not?
Question: How do you stand the loneliness?
Answer: I serenade the sheep with my squeeze box, which attracts coyotes that howl along. I'm never lonely in the wild.
Question: Which is smart...
Just in from the penny-pinching, tight-fisted, parsimonious, cheap, tightwads that inhabit our nation - twenty surefire ways to avoid paying your income taxes:
1. Just don't pay them.
2. "I'll pay them when I'm good and ready!"
3. "Didn't my ex-wife pay them?"
4. "Didn't my ex-husband pay them?"
5. "My dog ate my tax forms."
6. "I was out of the country."
7. "I have amn...
Vehicle names for new car models can make or break cars sales. Here are some names that never quite made it out of the boardroom.
1. Kia Cheeseweed
2. Mercury Maggot
3. Ford Fluffy
4. Dodge Ball
5. Volkswagon Vole
6. Lincoln Constipator
6. Kia Kale
7. Hyundai Hushpuppy
8. Ford Fart
9. Volkswagon Aardvark
10. Saturn Sloth
11. Pontiac Perspire
1. The dog gets to spend more time with her man than the woman does.
2. Why have a dog as a best friend when your other choice is a diamond?
3. I don't know how to put the "crotch sniffing thing" gently.
4. Slobbering, drooling, barfing, peeing, pooping in the house.
6. The dog always get to sit between the woman and the man in the front seat of the car.
They laughed when I spent my sophomore year in high school in front of my computer. "My square headed girlfriend!"
They shunned me when I stayed late in the school computer lab wearing my thick glasses and pocket protector with pens in it.
Girls snickered when I passed by in the hallway wearing my "flood style" too short pants.
But now who's laughing? Sure, I still wear geeky clothes and...
Urg not know fear. Not afraid of light skinned minor warlords sliding down hills on snow.
Live in Caucausus Mountains, never feel cold. Can bring down reindeer barehanded.
Come to Sochi for pretty metal on bright ribbon. Chase small rock on ice with stick. Slide fast in circle on sharp foot knives. Jump high over snow hill going fast. Bring fresh reindeer meat to village maybe attract stro...
Maybe your family can't take the boat to the lake this summer, but here are a few ideas our editors came up with:
1.Pull the boat over to the neighbor's lawn and live there all summer.
2.Make a fun game with your kids, "Who gets to bathe this week?"
3. When your neighbors go to work, drive your pickup over and fill up the plastic lined bed for a cool mobile pool. (Also use their toilet a...
1. Make sure to keep tissues handy to collect dog breath condensation on car windows.
2. Put ice cubes back in freezer after using.
3. Collect dew from dewey-eyed starlets in Hollywood.
4. Follow Governor Brown's example and forego showering.
5. Require all foreign tourists to bring a minimum supply of five liter water bottles.
6. Ban wet t-shirt contests.
Question: What is more fun for you, going to school or being with your brothers and sisters?
5 year old boy: I really like going to school, but my brothers and sisters are fun too!
Question: Do you know who our president is?
5 year old boy: Yes, He is Barak Obama, a weakling south-sider Chicagoan who rose to power through the dirty dealing of Daly's political machine.
Question: What wo...
1. Throw everything out of the window that can lighten the vehicle. Oops, that's if you want the car to fly.
2. Have a passenger carefully crawl out onto the hood and pull off the spark plug wires. This will shut the engine down.
3. Lean out of the window as far as possible and carefully (remember you're speeding) shoot out all four tires with your handgun. The car will be hard to steer afte...
Question: Should Northern rivers be worked after freeze up?
Trapper: Definitely yes, the thickened ice is your friend for Winter travel.
Question: How long can the beaver hold its breath for under water swimming?
Trapper: The average beaver can swim submerged for up to eight minutes.
Question: Should I use dead-falls or jaw traps on my local politician?
Trapper: Definitely jaw traps...
Question: Do Leprechauns ever lie?
Leprechaun: Didn't you read the title, edjit?
Question: You are asking me a question?
Leprechaun: I get so sick of people and their inanities!
Question: Okay, do you ever get chased by large squirrels?
Leprechaun: You can forget your pot-o-gold for that one!
Question: What are you smoking in that clay pipe?
Leprechaun: None of your business.D...
Most of the world has always wondered about a country that is named after a fowl. We don't have the "United States of Chicken" or "Great Budgie". Of course there are the Canary Islands, but they are just islands after all!
So when Turkey's government suffers a coup, just how serious are we to take it?
Does this mean that a portion of the country will be chopped off like some huge drumstick?...
Q: Can the world ever learn to get over their disagreements and just get along?
Cowboy: You mean world peace? Wheeedoggies, No.
Q: Is the study of mathematics a study of constants?
Cowboy: You've gotta be pullin' my bandanna! Of course it is!
Q: How old are you?
Cowboy: As old as the prairie wind soughin' through the tall grass, as old as the Bitterroots rakin' the sky, as old as wa...