Sadly not one resident living on the Isle of Wight was successful in buying tickets to attend the 2012 Olympic Games to be held in London, England.
Many residents will be watching the games on their televisions but in order to get that true 'Olympic feeling', Mayors of many towns and villages on the Isle have decided to host The Isle of Wight Games 2012.
They are presently taking suggestions...
Eco Clubs are being encouraged in schools around Ontario.
Teachers and students are encouraged to be eco-friendly. I have no problem with teaching children to look after their environment but I questioned the sanity of students being asked to bring 'garbageless' lunches on Fridays.
Why? Because this is NOT actually helping the environment. The garbage still exists but it is in a different...
Takwana and Anitakapita met with their favourite Spoof Writer today after calling her to set up a meeting in their favourite restaurant, Morrisons' Berwick Hills Branch.
By the time our writer met up with them they were both 'fit to be tied'. She asked them why they were so obviously angry.
First they sat down at a table near the window with cups of tea and tuna sandwiches whilst the girls...
Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones spoke to a Spoof Journalist about the death, a few days ago, of celebrity, Amy Winehouse.
"Ee! We are ded gutted arn we Anitakapita? A cudn' believe me own bleeding ears when i' came on the News. A woke our lad up, coz 'e'd dozed off, as per, on the sofa after coming 'ome bladdered. E were as gobsmcked as Ah were an' all..
She were ded gud an' all tha'...
Billy Connolly speaks fondly of Amy Winehouse. When interviewed yesterday about the 'passing' of Amy, Billy 'teared up'.
Och she's one o' me wee favourite lassies. Sorry, A meant tae say WAS... No' many folk knew we were s'close. It's a f*****g shame she was taken s'young like.
Now ahm mad a' all those f******g areseholes who think they have the right to knock the wee lassie now she's go...
Writers please to not give up
Your dream to write your novel
If Stephen King had gone that route
He'd be living in a hovel.
He took some risks and kept 'the faith'
When faced with writer's block
He'd take a walk around his house
And oft times got a shock.
Just looking at his wee black cat
A story came to mind.
It is a KILLER cat (he thought)
And a story he did find.
So don't desp...
I'd never heard your name before
Until I came to The Spoof
I feel it's sad that some writers use
Your 'story' so, when they don't know the truth.
I know I may be guilty now
Of seemingly doing the same
But why should writers say cruel things
For points using your name?
I can't stay shtum. That's sad to say
I feel that this is wrong
My daughter told me of your wonderful voice
I was in a store yesterday and a young woman was in there with her sweet little girl, about 18 months old. A cashier was talking to them and said,
"Hello honey. You are such a cutie." She didn't know the mom and toddler.
"She thinks you know her name," giggled the young mother.
I was shocked that the young mother had actually named her daughter 'Honey'...even more shocked than I was when...
Many years ago, around 1957,I was totally fascinated by the television set my dad bought when I was about 9 years old. A small black and white picture came into our living room each day, to amuse us and bring us World News.
No needed to get off the couch to change channels, we only had ONE. We DID have to wait a few minutes for the t.v. to 'warm up' though.
The test card showed when there...
It happened a number of years ago, admits female Spoof Writer. People are gobsmacked when I tell them I got to first base with a professional hockey player.
I don't want to embarrass him by mentioning his name, but he owns a large lake-front property in Port Dover, Ontario.
This truly happened.
He was visiting his brother at the school his brother, and our Spoof Writer, were both teachi...
Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough are no longer focused on the phone hacking scandal involving Rebeckah Brooks.
They met with a Spoof reporter this morning and discussed the signing of French mid-fielder Malaury Martin to Middlesbrough FC.
Both young women were giggling as they sat down at a table near the window in Morrison's restaurant, Berwick Hills.
Here is MY top ten list of things I WILL NOT miss now I have retired from teaching...in reverse order of priority
10. Getting up early and having to get dressed in nice
9. Driving to work in the winter and spinning my car,
sometimes ending up in a snow bank.
8. Having to pack luches and snacks on a daily basis.
7. Writing a Day Book with lesson plans...
Little Harper Seven Beckham has arrived. People are commenting on the unusual name as being a bit bizarre but had the little girl been named Ann or Linda, she would have grown up with a complex because her three big brothers have weird names.
Her future would have been filled with wonder - wondering why she had such an ordinary named. She would feel an outsider within her own family and most...
Don't worry about getting old. It happens to us all.
JUST DON'T JOIN THE BLUE RINSE CROWD.
Our knees may creak and our backs may ache but just stay young at heart...hang around with younger people and if your hair turns white,enjoy it. JUST DON'T JOIN THE BLUE RINSE CROWD.
I was lucky in that my hair started to turn white in my 20's and was totally white by my late 20's. It's in the genes...
Two young women in Middlesbrough are furious today. Takwana Smith and her 'bezzy mate' Anitakapita Jones have only just heard about the News of the World hacking scandal.
"Cheeky buggers," began Takwana, "if A find ou' tha' they've 'acked into my bleeding phone I'll 'ave 'em. A say lots of private things on me mobile, to our lad and to Anitakapita don't A?"
"Yeah she does," agreed Anitakap...
Top Ten tips to the newly retired:
10. Relax for the first few days
9. Get out of bed at the same time as you did when working
8. Get washed every day and clean your teeth
7. Don't get into conversations with the tele-marketers
6. Don't start going to church if you didn't go when
you were working. This will only depress you.
5. Get to know your neighbo...
Paranormalists were called to the set of Coronation street last night. A particular area of interest, The Rovers Return.
Voices had been heard in the bar, long after closing time but when investigated by the residents, nothing and no-one could be seen so the Paranormalists were called in to investigate.
Delicate equipment was set up discretely during the day and left running overnight.
Yesterday I said goodbye to the last class I will teach
Yes I've retired but stuck it out - put the bit between my teeth.
I started out in England in 1973
Three years of teachers' college there
Was more than enough for me.
My teaching job I did enjoy
Each little girl, each little boy
Some keen to learn,some keen to play.
I enjoyed each and every day.
And then I moved to Canada
It was a 'close call' for The Birmingham Scarlet Spoofer last night. Apparently he peeped into the wrong window.
Inhopeless, Spoof Writer extraordinaire, was studying in his room (or so he told his mam) when he heard a tap on his bedroom window. He looked up in time to see the top end of a ladder being placed against the glass of his bedroom window.
Without any hesitation, Inhopeless spri...
After reading through the people to be honoured - as listed on the Queen's Birthday Honours list, a number of Premiership Footballers are extremely disappointed that their names are NOT on the list.
Ryan Giggs is alleged to have commented:
"It's not bloody fair, there is Mark Cavendish on the list for his services to Cycling and some really unusual ones. For example, these are some of the p...
This reporter has only just heard why cucumbers are in the news AGAIN. My husband told me when I told him cucumber stories were running rife on the Spoof.
I live in a farming area and just ate some fresh slices of locally grown cucumber today. Our cucumbers appear to be fine so I would advise those who love the cucumber, to import them from Ontario.
Sad that people have died from tainted cuc...
Football managers and coaches have been holding special meetings in which they are discussing how to get more fans to attend 'matches' - especially those teams who are at the bottom of the EPL table.
One suggestion is that they really DO need all games to be entertaining for the fans. The fans deserve value for money and it doesn't always come in the form of goals, wins etc.
In Canada and A...