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Funny story: Not in the AIA Guide

Not in the AIA Guide

Not in the AIA Guide The latest issue of the AIA Guide to New York City is out. As expected, it contains all the old favorites. But the recent work of one quasi-architect, this weekend's darling of the movers and shakers (not the Shakers), is not to be found in this "Classic Guide to New York's Architecture." The artiste, Leonard Reklame ("Rek") Kaufmann, variously known to the architecto...
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Funny story: God's Office

God's Office

God's Office (1-800-GR8 1) Cherubic voices singing "We are the World," followed by . . . You have reached the offices of God. Para continuar en Espanol, oprimes dos. Our office hours are from 0000 to infinity, Zulu time. After you hear the music of the spheres, please leave your message. No need to leave your name or contact information. We know it. Before you leave your message, please...
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Funny story: The Case Against Jesus...Find of the Century

The Case Against Jesus...Find of the Century

Archaeologists digging near Jerusalem have unearthed what could be the find of the century... a document purporting to list the actual charges made against Jesus Christ. Jesus was formally arraigned at the house of the High Priest Caiaphas before a gathering of Scribes and officials belonging to the Jerusalem Sanhedrin council. The list of indictments was read out to the defendant who made...
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Funny story: God save the blond

God save the blond

Warfare has been man's prime idiocy ever since he came to existence. He fought for food, water and pasture; now, fights for petroleum, minerals and markets. Religions have provided esprit de corps to achieve these goals. However, we read in literature, that many men have died in pursuit of sex. Therefore, we may add sex as an impulse to engage in fighting. Nevertheless, nature or whatever uses...
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Funny story: Help, please for the love of god, somebody help me

Help, please for the love of god, somebody help me

By Donald Trump Let me be frank. I don't want to be President. I never did. Someone very powerful offered me 20 million dollars to run a campaign and I couldn't refuse that offer. Now they're not letting me back out and I am regretting it immensely. I'm trying to sabotage my campaign and you keep voting for me in the polls. Stop it! Just stop it already! I've had enough! What more do I need...
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Funny story: Why Does the Chicken Cross the Road? To Get Her New Leg!

Why Does the Chicken Cross the Road? To Get Her New Leg!

The countryside was bright at the crack of dawn and the cluck-clucking of the yard's twenty chickens sounded welcoming. Henrietta, the now famous chicken, also lived in this small farm house in rural Franklin, Texas. She clucked with the best of them and was obviously a leg up above the others. The reason? Henrietta had a new artificial leg. Henrietta the pet chicken received her $2,500...
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Funny story: Taking Care of the Elderly

Taking Care of the Elderly

She's ancient, and unfortunately there is no longer anything to her. She seems, in general, to be doing well, but her doctor recently indicated that she needed some dental work done. She had given no indication of discomfort, and we hesitated to allow the use of anesthetic at her advanced age. To our great surprise, they took nine of her teeth, leaving her with only sixteen. The fact that t...
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Funny story: Browntown - Xavier Fairbanks intimate Interview with Chris Brown

Browntown - Xavier Fairbanks intimate Interview with Chris Brown

This week, Writer, Xavier Fairbanks, had the opportunity to sit down with Chris Brown and Train to discuss their song Bruises, and the meaning behind the lyrics. Here are a few of our favorite Q&A's from the interview. Q: Chris, what made you seek out Train to work on this song together? A: Well, after I had my troubles with Rihanna, man, I mean I had to do something. It was just bad...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 25: Balooning

The Case Against Recreation - Part 25: Balooning

Balooning- Hot air ballooning popular in some locales that have a climate and topography suitable to such an absurd activity. To understand its appeal we need to examine the symbolism involved. First there's the basket that holds the passengers. This could mean they are all basket cases, or that they are going to hell in a handbasket, or both. Then next is the balloon that carries...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 24: Kite Flying

The Case Against Recreation - Part 24: Kite Flying

Kite Flying- When someone gets disgusted with you and wants you to go away, they often say, "Go fly a kite." It's a polite way of saying, "Go to hell." This infers that kite flying is a decidedly negative thing to do. If this is true then why do people do it? There are at least two possible reasons why someone would fly a kite. The first is that they are simply intellectually inept to unde...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 23: Camping

The Case Against Recreation - Part 23: Camping

Camping- Camping trips are yet another example of the fixation humans has with animal behavior. Despite advanced creature comforts and housing with all the conveniences of modern living, people are still drawn to the harsh elements of the great outdoors. It's a mindless ingrained habit that defies all logic except if it's like a salmon swimming against the current to reach the spawning ground upst...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 22: Picnics

The Case Against Recreation - Part 22: Picnics

Picnics- involve the eating of meals in an outdoor setting such as a park. The procedure is quite simple: participants prepare the meal at home, pack it along with a table cloth, and maybe some folding chairs. Then they go to an outdoor location, perhaps a designated public picnic area where they spread the tablecloth on the ground, if no picnic tables are available. It's a popular pastime conside...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 21: Barbeques

The Case Against Recreation - Part 21: Barbeques

Barbeques- usually takes place in someone's backyard with family or friends gathered around a pit or grill with flaming charcoal that cooks meat. Attendees enjoy the festive atmosphere because it's an ingrained remnant of their prehistoric past when early humans killed and ate animals in the wild. Some those feasts were also rituals featuring human sacrifices atop an alter somewhat resembling a mo...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 20: Bicycling

The Case Against Recreation - Part 20: Bicycling

Bicycling- The growing popularity of this activity illustrates the utterly obvious infiltration of obsessive pseudo-sexual perversion running rampant throughout society like a bicyclist running through a red light at a busy intersection. The term "bicycle" is a combination of two root words meaning bi (as in bipolar or bisexual), and cycle (as in vicious cycle or recycled waste). The underlying de...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 19: Board Games

The Case Against Recreation - Part 19: Board Games

Board Games Board games are custom coordinated games specially designed for boring people, and as such they are ill fit for anyone who wants an interesting game to play. The slow pace of these games is an ideal match to the rate of their inert intellect. Monopoly- People who love the mind-numbing monotony choose to play the game of Monopoly, day after day, week after week; for adults i...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 18: Billiards & Pool

The Case Against Recreation - Part 18: Billiards & Pool

Pool & Billiards- Pool players prefer to call the game Billiards so it is not confused with a swimming type of pool. And because the pool stick sounds too much like pulls dick, which is what the game is really all about. But players are understandably embarrassed by it and they don't want anyone to know. Try as they might, it's impossible to hide because the symbolism is just too obvio...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 17: Dice & Darts

The Case Against Recreation - Part 17: Dice & Darts

Dice & Darts- Dice games are another asinine activity usually played in sleazy bars and urban alleys by brain-dead boozehounds that are too drunk to play a smarter game. They roll the dice and instantly lose their life savings, and there is little chance they will ever recoup that seventeen dollars. A distinct breed of cretin is instinctively drawn to the game of Darts. It's a...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 16: Card Games

The Case Against Recreation - Part 16: Card Games

Cards- There are many types of card games, most of which are designed to pit the players against each other in order to cultivate a hostile antagonistic society, with all the problems that entails. Card games were contrived by the ruling class to control the proletariat, simple-minded, illiterate peasants who were easily manipulated by such tricks that appealed to their base instincts. Eve...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 15: Games

The Case Against Recreation - Part 15: Games

Games Games were originally intended to be a form of play activity for infants, and mentally handicapped people who have yet to develop the intellectual faculties needed to function in a sensible manner. The games were designed for a specific aptitude level and geared to subjects with limited mental capacity and motor skills. Any other application of game activity was strictly proh...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 14: "Escort" Services

The Case Against Recreation - Part 14: "Escort" Services

"Escort" Services- A whore by any other name is just a whore. Call girls, prostitutes, hookers, etc., their all the same, although rates may vary according to how respectful, or slutty, the particular title is that they use. But no matter what their title is, they screw 25 guys a day so wear a condom. It's always funny to see a guy fall in love with a whore, thinking he's her only boyfr...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 13: Adult Entertainment

The Case Against Recreation - Part 13: Adult Entertainment

Adult Entertainment Strip Shows-Some cities have strip joints where depraved men go to see naked women live on stage. These venues are more like torture chambers because it's all a tease, customers are not allowed to touch. They do however offer an occasional lap-dance--for the right price. Adult Cinema- Before Videotapes and DVDs came out, the entire pervert population had to go to theaters...
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Funny story: The Case Against Recreation - Part 11: Amusement Parks

The Case Against Recreation - Part 11: Amusement Parks

Amusement Parks- There's nothing amusing about amusement parks, they are more like abusing parks. People go there to get thrills but sometimes they get killed instead. It's the ultimate entertainment experience, if your idea of entertainment is doing hours of activities that make you feel the maximum level of fear before going into shock, pushing the limits of hysteria that would traumatiz...
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Donald Trump to Appear on America's Got Talent

Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump announced today that he will appear on NBC's 'America's Got Talent' in the upcoming fall season.
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