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Funny story: Trump Will Provide Classes at New Trump University for New Cabinet Members to Learn about Their Posts

Trump Will Provide Classes at New Trump University for New Cabinet Members to Learn about Their Posts

Washington, DC President-Elect Donald Trump graciously offered "deep-pocket discounts" to all his new Cabinet members to take classes at his New Trump University in order to learn about their new Cabinet posts. "I found it very beneficial" said new Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke. "I learned a lot. Who knew the Interior Department would have anything to do with trees and things like that? I alway...
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Funny story: Six Good Reasons...why we love doing a car boot sale

Six Good Reasons...why we love doing a car boot sale

Sick of that old sixties vinyl collection cluttering up the hallway? Exasperated by the pile of Superman comics in the downstairs loo? Let's face it, here's a great opportunity for throwing out your partner's junk. Exercise a little deceit - excuse me, I mean tact - when you're loading the car. "Hang on a sec, I've forgotten something..." you could say, as you dash back inside with a bin-liner.
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Funny story: Writing On The Wall

Writing On The Wall

I'm the cat amongst your pigeons I'm the writing on your wall I'm the black sheep in your family No, I don't fit in at all I'm the sight that raises eyebrows The cause of nervous coughs The fly in soup and ointment The cap that's never doffed It's me! The spanner in the works The dust speck in your eye When everything seems out of sync You know that I'm nearby I'm the scalpel lef...
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Funny story: A Letter To Charles Darwin

A Letter To Charles Darwin

Dear Charlie. Or is it Charley? I read your book. Well, sort of. I had one of my people read it, and then summarize it for me, and I listened to that for all of 90 seconds, so I think I get what you were trying to say. But I gotta disagree with some of your conclusions. Well, one of them, anyway. You claim that evaluation makes people smarter, because the stupid ones die before they can...
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Funny story: Letter to Santa

Letter to Santa

Dear Santa, You heartless bringer of pedophiliac child-molesting buggery with your 'chimney' indeed! Who are you trying to kid!? You are the wolf in the "Little Red Riding Hood" fable taking advantage of the young like your female counterpart of the 'Wicked Witch' of the "Sleeping Beauty" yarn. We are onto you dude! Why don't you take your mountains of mone...
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Funny story: Fake News Fer Sale! Git Yer Fake News Right Here!

Fake News Fer Sale! Git Yer Fake News Right Here!

Suddenly fake news stories are the In thing and do we have 'em here for you! Get in on the latest fad and power trip going- fake news stories! Amaze your friends! Harass your enemies! Embarrass your mom! We have them for you here in all shapes and sizes. And all political, ethnic, social and gender variations. Need a story to make Trump look like a hero- got 'em right here for ya! Need a tale...
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Funny story: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Trumpland

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Trumpland

For the New Pussygrabber-in-Chief It's beginning to look a lot like Trumpland Ev'rywhere you go; Take a look at the store front doors, with swastikas now adorned And Alt-right sites and Nazis now aglow. It's beginning to look a lot like Trumpland Muslims now look out! 'Cause the scariest sight to see is the threatened registry By this orange-haired loudmouth lout. A pair of jack-boo...
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Funny story: THE FLY... Werner Fassbinder's Masterpiece?

THE FLY... Werner Fassbinder's Masterpiece?

Our film critic from U-R-FKD magazine flew to lake Geneva in Switizerland to interview legendary film producer, writer, actor and director Werner Fassbinder about his soon to be released film "The Fly". They met at his mansion overlooking the lake. Werner lounged on a deck chair by the pool and stared at the sky. He spoke slowly as is his wont and with great gravitas. Here is a transcript. Q: S...
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Funny story: College Teacher To Be Fired Over Anti-Trump Remarks

College Teacher To Be Fired Over Anti-Trump Remarks

I heard that Professor of Philosophy, Dr. Richard Styles, might be dismissed from his faculty position at Citrus Community College, in Orange County California, a campus that I visited to get this story. The grounds for his possible dismissal are indoctrination of students in un-American ideas and disrespecting students with disabilities. But the Board of Trustees who might fire him are in for...
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Funny story: A Message For All Those Who Voted For Donald Trump

A Message For All Those Who Voted For Donald Trump

A Message For Trump's Minions Worded In The Vernacular You Understand Best In a bow to our supposed new President I submit this missive attempting to recreate the style of communicating that he does best in order to express myself properly to those who elected him. This letter, this message, this fatal death rattle is intended for those who brought him to power, to those who so loyally follow a...
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Funny story: Animal Farm, Part 9: The Pipeline

Animal Farm, Part 9: The Pipeline

Marksy - along with all the other horses - had no idea what "subsistence" meant, but they were told by Murdoch that they could look it up if they needed to. They didn't know how or where to look things up, so Murdoch told them the "truth," as he put it, telling the horses it meant "just enough to survive" for right now. The Boar also told the horses that it was just temporary, and that once the...
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Funny story: It's in the Book.

It's in the Book.

You can look it up. It may seem harsh, but calling your father-in-law a fool makes you liable to the fires of hell. After all, he may have been conned by the lies and empty promises, duped by a charismatic scam artist, or confused by the self-contradictory rhetoric. He may have a disability that diminishes his powers of reason and understanding. Let's have a little empathy here, folks. But. Now...
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Funny story: Animal Farm, Part 8: Hunger

Animal Farm, Part 8: Hunger

But everything was not okay on Napoleon Farm. The Pigs and the Boars kept most of the grain and feed and hay for themselves, stored away in the old barn behind the two big towers Old Man Kennedy had put up. The animals didn't understand exactly why Old Man Kennedy had put up the two towers - not even the pigs, but Old Man Kennedy was a big talker and even as he hauled the lumber and pounded the...
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Funny story: A Victorian Brexit

A Victorian Brexit

Lord Britton removed his top hat and entered the door of the gentleman's club. "Good day, Sir," said the butler holding the door. "It's good to have you back." The Lord smiled at the servant and thought what a lower class moron the man looked. He wondered if he could have the butler sacked, but he had other business with the club secretary, Count Percy Twatarse. Count Percy's bushy mousta...
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Funny story: Animal Farm, Part 7: Welcome to Napoleon Farm

Animal Farm, Part 7: Welcome to Napoleon Farm

Old Man Kennedy's Saturday boxers, red and tattered by the wind, were still waving in the wind at the top of the pole the pigs had put up. The terror level was still on high alert. Nothing had changed, except that it had gotten worse. When Scylla and Charidibis woke that morning and went the yard to chase their tails a bit before breakfast, they saw another slaughtered boar. It was mangled in...
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Funny story: Who's Unelectable Now? A Message from Bernie Sanders.

Who's Unelectable Now? A Message from Bernie Sanders.

Hi, this is Bernie Sanders. I just wanted to remind you Democrats how you didn't want me for your nominee. Sure, I might have lost. But I might have lost with some dignity and brought some integrity back to the Democratic Party. I could have brought some white men back into the party, but you didn't want that. Oh no You said, We don't need any white men in our Party, we can win just fine without t...
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Funny story: Animal Farm Revisited, Part 6: It Didn't Take Long

Animal Farm Revisited, Part 6: It Didn't Take Long

It Didn't Take Long Even before the cock crowed that morning and the whole farm was sleeping, Murdoch, Old George and Young George were busy changes Bernard's rules for a "Goldyn Age." "Can't we just take them all down?" Old George asked as Murdoch carefully scribbled out some of the rules Bernard had put up before the election of Young George. "Yeah," Young George asked, "can't we just sta...
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Funny story: In 2024, Ivanka Trump will Become First Woman President

In 2024, Ivanka Trump will Become First Woman President

The year 2016 marks an important time in American politics which will be noted not by the fact that Donald Trump won for president but by the fact the Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton ran for president. Despite Jeb's and Hillary's losses, the 2016 election cycle will be considered the time that America embraced the concept of dynastic presidential politics, where the candidacies of a brother and...
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Funny story: Animal Farm Revisited, part 5: Old george Has a Modest Proposal

Animal Farm Revisited, part 5: Old george Has a Modest Proposal

Old George Has a Modest Proposal Bernard had rallied his spirits as his first - some say primary - loss at the gate, the Infamous Loss at the Gate as he began to think of it. Yet, somehow after chasing some cats around the yard and yapping at the humans who were passing by, Bernard felt a little better. He scampered lively into the center yard where all the animals milled about early...
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Funny story: She Thought I Was Sambo or Something: An Interview with Hillary Clinton

She Thought I Was Sambo or Something: An Interview with Hillary Clinton

My name is Chad Billings and I write for a very reputable magazine, The Republic Rag. I grew up in a middle-class neighborhood in a three-bedroom, two-bath split-level ranch, where I lived with my sister Martha (Marty for short). My parents were not divorced. My father worked at IBM like everyone else, which allowed my mother to stay home and take care of things until "the kids" were out of scho...
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Funny story: Animal Farm Revisited, Part 4: The Crumbling Wall

Animal Farm Revisited, Part 4: The Crumbling Wall

The Crumbling Wall The horses were working hard as usual, but on this day - this historic day - they were up earlier than usual and working even harder than usual. Before the sun even broke over the dawn, they were pulling pieces of plywood from the walls of the old dilapidated barn and prying planks of wood from the lumber pile out back. They were stacking them on saw horses carefully...
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Funny story: January 19 Declared Obama Shades Day

January 19 Declared Obama Shades Day

#ObamaShadesDayJan19 Let's face it. The Obamas are cool. We need to say thank you for real. Say thank you with us by wearing sunglasses on Thursday, January 19, 2017, Obama's last full day in office. Say thanks to the Obamas for their service, and maybe even throw some shade on Donald Trump. Obama served for 8 years with respect for the office. He always looked out for the childre...
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Showing page 2 (of 456 pages)

Breaking News...

Trump Denies That He Likes Pee

On a side note, sales of Trump Water have fallen to absolutely nothing.
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