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Funny story: Memories of the b_LIAR, ten years on!

Memories of the b_LIAR, ten years on!

LONDON, England: Today, the tenth anniversary of the start of Gulf War 2, many remember the b_LIAR, in their own special way... "My abiding memory of b_LIAR is his escape from a bookstore in Dublin, afraid to meet protesters. Later, he cancelled his book-signing tour. Yet he was willing to send young British soldiers to their deaths in Iraq." Madame Derry. "When are Boosh and b_LIAR g...
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Funny story: The production of FEAR continues, as the UK airspace becomes filled with DRONES!

The production of FEAR continues, as the UK airspace becomes filled with DRONES!

RAF Waddington, Lincolnshire, UK: Soon, consignments of Reaper drones will be arriving... As the Police State continues to pile more psychological pressure on its UK citizens, where the UK Government wants to know more and more about everybody, while at the same time the public are allowed to know less and less about them and their secret courts, now is the age of the DRONES! Non-military dr...
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Funny story: Five Olympic wheel rings on my wagon... ...I'm singing a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high.

Five Olympic wheel rings on my wagon... ...I'm singing a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high.

Bus Shelter, Olympic Route Network (ORN), LONDON: As the Busker sings, thoughts come to the conscious mind. Five Olympic wheel rings on my wagon, And I'm still rolling along, The Met Police are chasing me Tasers fly, right on by, But I'm singing a happy song. I'm singing a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high Olympic Lanes, there for five wheeled wagons A mile up the road, there's a Police...
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Funny story: Squatter camps on the streets of London 2012...

Squatter camps on the streets of London 2012...

Stratford, LONDON: In the tunnel at Stratford Railway Station, entrance gate for the London 2012 Olympics venue, there is a busker singing just like Ralph McTell, the old tune the 'Streets Of London'. Let us listen to those words; Have you seen the military men In the closed-down market on Green Street Kicking up the paper, with his worn out Army boots? In his eyes you see no pride for...
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Funny story: Captain Mainwairing:

Captain Mainwairing: "Dad's Army Territorials to be expanded, to make up for cuts to regular soldiers."

Walmington-On-Sea, East Coast, England: Some of the British population may be surprised to learn that in one part of England, martial law is still in place. Captain Mainwairing is still in charge, still believing an imminent invasion of the Nazi hordes is on the cards. Now that Liam Fox, the Defence Secretary, has announced the Army will be cut by a fifth from its current size of 102,000 to ar...
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Funny story: Lady Whip of West Ham:

Lady Whip of West Ham: "I am not giving it to you, **** off."

The Dungeon Theatre, West Ham, London: Lady Labour Whip Lyn Brown, West Ham's Dominatrix 'infamous' rant at the Houses of Parliament; "For F***'s sake, move out of my F****** way." "You are such a rude F****** man, you just walked right in front of me." "I am not giving it to you, F*** off." "You just do that and see what happens." "You are harassing me, leave me alone." Lady Do...
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Funny story: "What's it MATTer, SCOTT of the Guardian!" Hah! Hah! Hah!

"What's it MATTer, SCOTT of the Guardian!" Hah! Hah! Hah!

TALKSPORT TOWERS, London: Review of the papers by "What's it MATTer, SCOTT of the Guardian!" Hah! Hah! Hah!, Thursday, 14th July 2011. MATT SCOTT: "Here is a story that I really like in the Daily Express, 'British sports stars could be forced to wear the EU flag on their kit in the latest bid by Brussels to impose its symbols on the UK.' What's it matter? Hah! Hah! Hah!" RAY STUBBS: "Hah...
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Funny story: Olympic Games 2012 results now available!

Olympic Games 2012 results now available!

Olympic HQ, Stratford: Results are now coming for the Games of the XVZWV Olympiad. In first place, 5,000 tickets for Britain's richest man worth £29.8billion. In second place, 1,000 tickets to Gaddafi's eldest son Muhammad, as head of Libyas' Olympic committee. Currently blocked by the International Olympics Committee (IOC). In last place, 000 tickets [NIL] to see the Olympic games, are...
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Funny story: Greater Manchester Police: Cutting Officers by the 1,000, whilst paying out £1,000s to an Inspector who fails the annual 'shield run'!

Greater Manchester Police: Cutting Officers by the 1,000, whilst paying out £1,000s to an Inspector who fails the annual 'shield run'!

Greater Manchester Police: As one of Britain's largest Police forces, Greater Manchester Police will be shrinking by almost a quarter, as nearly 3,000 will lose their employment, forming part of a huge programme of reform aimed at saving £134million in the wake of the Government's spending review. Whilst this is going on, Greater Manchester Police now stands to pay out £30,000, after an employ...
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Funny story: 'A' Level in Madness - Are you mad enough to take this exam?

'A' Level in Madness - Are you mad enough to take this exam?

Recently Ofqual has attacked 'unacceptable' exam paper blunders; A 'rogue' question inserted into an AS-level maths exam, worth 11 per cent of the total mark, sat by almost 6,800 students, the exam board blundered to calculate the correct length for the shortest route along a network of tracks in a forest equal to an equation set out in the test paper... An AS-level business studies exam, ma...
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Funny story: High levels of Census Completion Disorder (CCD) are being found all over the United Kingdom!

High levels of Census Completion Disorder (CCD) are being found all over the United Kingdom!

All over the United Kingdom, the citizens in their droves are experiencing a new phenomenon called Census Completion Disorder (CCD). CCD is a nervous complaint caused by reading and attempting to fill in the UKs 2011 compulsory Census. Not withstanding that filling in the Census is against the Data Protection Act, where UK citizens have the right to refuse their data being held on a computer...
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Funny story: Up The Buses! - Part 13E.

Up The Buses! - Part 13E.

Blakey introducing the programme, staring unblinking into the camera and right into your living room. BLAKEY: "You are late again aren't you? How dare you be late like that! Where have you been? Continued from Up The Buses! - Part 13D. Up The Buses! - Part 13D. FLASHBACK to previous dynamic episodes that you MAY have so shamefully missed, to get you ALL up to speed! Blakey tal...
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Funny story: Up The Buses! - Part 13D.

Up The Buses! - Part 13D.

How dare you! You have been away again! Where have you been? Continued from Up The Buses! - Part 13C. Up The Buses! - Part 13C. FLASHBACK to previous dynamic episodes that you MAY have so shamefully missed, to get you ALL up to speed! BIG-BUSTY CLIPPIE: "So the first ever Local and District Bus Traction Brothel Tour will undoubtedly be the social event of the year! I wouldn't m...
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Funny story: Up The Buses! - Part 13C.

Up The Buses! - Part 13C.

Where have you been, you have been away, what's your problem? Continued from Up The Buses! - Part 13B. Up The Buses! - Part 13B." Flashback to previous episodes that you MAY have so disgracefully missed, to get you ALL up to speed! BLAKEY: (talking to himself) "I must not get worked up. I hate Butler, but I must not get worked up! I must be jovial and kind at all times today to take...
View 'Up The Buses! - Part 13C.'
Funny story: Up The Buses! - Part 13B.

Up The Buses! - Part 13B.

You have been away, what's your problem, where have you been? Continued from Up The Buses! - Part 13A Up The Buses! - Part 13A." ACT 2, Scene 6 Camera 4 pans close up to Blakeys face, beads of sweat can be seen on his reddened face. Blakeys eyes are on stalks, frothing foaming from his mouth and gasping for air all at the same time. BLAKEY: "I have never seen anything like tha...
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Funny story: Up The Buses! - Part 13A.

Up The Buses! - Part 13A.

ACT 2, Scene 3 Camera 1 pans around Blakey's office. Interior - Blakey's office. Inspector Blake is sitting at prototype Sinclair Computer reading a few notes and there was a forlorne look on his face. Blakeys expression is one of concern, as may he might, the date is the 1st April. He knows from last years pranks, the Boss of Local and District Bus Traction Corp, warned him in writing no...
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Funny story: Commander Comrade Dalglish bolsters 'Anfieldgrad'

Commander Comrade Dalglish bolsters 'Anfieldgrad'

This is 'Anfieldgrad', filing a NEWS REPORT from the banks of the River Mersey. We, the surrounded loyal defenders of 'Anfieldgrad', issue the following statement from Cmdr Comrade Dalglish; "On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson, whilst suffering the fiercest cold Winter, battle fatigue and desertions, was relieved of his command and I took over the leadership here at Anfieldgrad." "We have b...
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Funny story: Carroll and Suarez relieve Fernando Torres at 'Anfieldgrad'

Carroll and Suarez relieve Fernando Torres at 'Anfieldgrad'

This is 'Anfieldgrad' on the banks of the River Mersey. We, the loyal defenders of 'Anfieldgrad', are surrounded by an opposition force, without Fernando Torres. 'Anfieldgrad' is cut off from humanity. On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson were suffered the fiercest cold Winter, whereupon Von Hodgson WALKED ALONE down the M62 ALONE, with a few Million Rubles into oblivion! The beleagured Comm...
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Funny story: Roy Hodgson: "You'll Never Walk Alone!"

Roy Hodgson: "You'll Never Walk Alone!"

This WAS Anfield, Liverpool: Arise the Kop at Anfield, for the singing of the Scouse national Anthem: "When you walk through the storm (Roy Hodgson's Liverpool FC in the bottom half of the Premier League) Hold your head up high (Roy Hodgson standing on the touch line trying to fathom out the formations) And don't be afraid of the dark (booing Scouse fans calling for Roy Hodgson to depart...
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Funny story: HM Government, HM Treasury and HM Revenue and Customs taxing the wealthy out of the United Kingdom!

HM Government, HM Treasury and HM Revenue and Customs taxing the wealthy out of the United Kingdom!

HM Government, HM Treasury and HM Revenue and Customs, England: The UK Taxpayer is seriously not getting any value for money from his Tax payments. So why not shop elsewhere? For instance, if my shop is losing money, should I increase my prices (for the same or worse product), or should I be having a sale and encouraging more business and sales to get myself out of the mess? So it goes for...
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Funny story: Father Dougal McGuire: "If the UK is a third world Country, why are the Roman Catholic Church accepting money from the UK to pay for the Pope's ecumenical visit?"

Father Dougal McGuire: "If the UK is a third world Country, why are the Roman Catholic Church accepting money from the UK to pay for the Pope's ecumenical visit?"

Craggy Island Parish Hall: Very little happens in Craggy Island Parish to be reported internationally, but in this series of news reports we examine the impact that the Popes visit to the United Kingdom is having on some of the far flung outposts of Britains former colonies and Empire. At Craggy Island Parish Hall, to coincide with the Popes first day in Britain, a 'special' spiritual ecumenic...
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Funny story: Father Ted: "When you land at Heathrow you think you are in a Third World land."

Father Ted: "When you land at Heathrow you think you are in a Third World land."

Craggy Island parish, west coast of Ireland: Very little happens in Craggy Island Parish to be reported, but in this news article news followers need to know what impact the Popes visit is having on some of the far flung outposts of Britain's former colonies and Empire. Father Ted has been reading the latest news in the local Parish News to Father Dougal about the Pope's visit to Britain. Fa...
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