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Funny story: Hollyweird's Weirdest: Ray Bradbury

Hollyweird's Weirdest: Ray Bradbury

Ray Douglas Bradbury, the spawn of Esther (nee Moberg) Bradbury and her husband, Leonard Spaulding Bradbury, is descended from a witch, Mary Bradbury, who was tried, convicted, and sentenced to be hanged in Salem, Massachusetts. However, using witchcraft, she escaped the noose and lived to age 85. Bradbury's warped view of the world was inspired by her example, he said, attributing his macabre fan...
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Funny story: Discovery: Delivered to Wrong Address... Purloined

Discovery: Delivered to Wrong Address... Purloined

TiVo 2 Circle Star Way San Carlos, CA 94070 May 11th 2017 El Presidente Donaldo Juan Trump La Casa Blanca 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington D.C. 20050 Dear SEŇOR SUPREME Presidente Trump, This is to confirm our oral contract of May 9th, 2017, where our corporation agrees to pay $25,000.00 to th...
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Funny story: Donald Trump and Birth Certificates...An Untold Tale

Donald Trump and Birth Certificates...An Untold Tale

If you thought Donald Trump was obsessed with the issue of Barack Obama's birth certificate, then let's set the record straight. His preoccupation with official birth documents goes way back, and it is best illustrated by an event in his own household some years ago. When Donald Trump, Jr., turned nine, the first born son of the real estate tycoon asked his father if he could have a model train...
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Funny story: Rantasia

Rantasia

Who the hell do you think you are anyway? Are you the only one in the world that has places to go people to see, no time for this, no time for that? YOU couldn't be more WRONG, but there's more, so much more… Tell me mister man, WHY when we had ALL been safely wedged into our airline seats, YOU decided that YOU no longer want to sit next to the burbing, flatulating man eating an onion sandwich?...
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Funny story: Redevised Fairy Tale: Allicia's Misadventures in Auz. [Auzmania]

Redevised Fairy Tale: Allicia's Misadventures in Auz. [Auzmania]

PROLOGUE - Once upon a time there were two little girls who grew up as friends and classmates in the country of Auzmania. Despite their close friendship,the girls were very much unalike. Alicia was caring, cooperative and a loyal friend to all who knew her. Snow, on the other hand, was devious, manipulative and her friendship was shallow. Both were very bright and they were the most attractive gir...
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Funny story: Bob Dylan's "Arachnia": Now Newly Comprehensible!

Bob Dylan's "Arachnia": Now Newly Comprehensible!

Since Bob Dylan won the Nobel Prize last fall, interest has been high in "Arachnia," the singer's only book of poetry to date. the book has yet to be re-issued, but old library copies are flying off the shelves. But we've just learned that a new edition of the book will soon be published, and will include some previously unseen material. This ne material comes from an early version of the book, an...
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Funny story: Julius Caesar's "Shaespeare"

Julius Caesar's "Shaespeare"

The stage ride from Verona to Venice was slow, dusty, bumpy and tiring, especially for the young, attractive and very pregnant U. of Verona co-ed, Sophia. Her attempts to sleep were frustrated by the ham actor who boarded the stage at some obscure stop and proceeded to regale, he thought, his fellow passengers with soliloquies from epic plays. For nearly sixty minutes, non-stop, he blustered up an...
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Funny story: Problem Page With Robert Pattinson The Geordie Horse

Problem Page With Robert Pattinson The Geordie Horse

Robert Pattinson The Geordie Horse was voted Number One Nag For Problem-Solving in a new Gallop Poll Dear Robert, I am a lesbian and my wife doesn't love me any more. I have tried everything to get back in her good books. I have even started doing DIY, and had my hair cropped, but she isn't impressed. She has got a new butch personal trainer and is spending a lot of time with her. What c...
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Funny story: Spoofomaniac

Spoofomaniac

I've always drunk water EVER so cold And have done since I was 15 months old Afore that, kind Sirs, I'm bound to admit I was keen for a suck of me dear old mam's tit And sometimes, still am. Oh, please, Sirs, I beg you! Don't scold me! Don't chide! From your derision, 'tis true, I have nowhere to hide Don't hate me! Don't slate me! It's a lie! I'm not cheap! (Though it's true I once had...
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Funny story: Letters To The Editor About Noel Coward

Letters To The Editor About Noel Coward

Dear Sir, We really enjoyed the Noel Coward lyrics you printed in your last edition. Please let us have more of these rollicking Noel Coward pieces. They really brighten our day. They reminded us of that jolly movie "The Italian Job". Also we remember the days when Noel used to play "Down at the Old Bull and Bush" on the piano, while Lord Boothby was the strict Head Teacher and we were the v...
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Funny story: Satan Issues Report Card of World Leaders

Satan Issues Report Card of World Leaders

[Associated Press, Washington, D.C. The reclusive being popularly know as Satan, a/k/a Lucifer, Shaitan, etc., etc., gave a rare interview today in which he scored various of the world's leaders.] AP: Mr. Satan, thank . . . SAT: Just "Satan," will do. AP: Well, thank you, Satan, for making time to speak with us. Tell us about your recent report in which you scored some of the world's lead...
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Funny story: Sloppy Sally responds to readers' questions

Sloppy Sally responds to readers' questions

Q. Whatever happened to hatpins and pocket pistols? In days past,  pussy-pinchers could expect to be pinned to death or given a lethal dose of 'lead poisoning' for the act our President describes so cavalierly. How would we men feel about Nut Grabbing? - Den from Colorado  A. Dear Den: Personally, I am opposed to Nut-Grabbing (I believe that it is meant to be hyphenated).  Many st...
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Funny story: Cartouche

Cartouche

Cartouche, ancient Egyptian for "cartoon," is an oval comic strip panel that came into use during ancient Egypt's Fourth Dynasty, under the rule of Pharaoh Sneferu. Most cartouches are displayed horizontally on the stone tablets in which they were engraved. (Paper, other than papyrus, did not exist at the time, because ancient Egyptians were a "primitive society" without sophisticated technolog...
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Funny story: Never say Neverland

Never say Neverland

Never Never Land, CA --- The late Michael Jackson's estate, Never Never Land, named for Neverland, the fantasy island on which "lost boys" never become men, was the singer's home and, according to "unproven" allegations, the site of several molestations by "Wacko Jacko," as Jackson is also known. Supposedly, Wacko molested several preteen males who stayed at Never Never Land as his overnight "gues...
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Funny story: Onward, ever onward!

Onward, ever onward!

This is A.P. reporter Aziz Hernandez, speaking to you from on board the carrier USS Potemkin Village, somewhere off the Korean Peninsula, or maybe Australia. I have been embedded with the crew here for two months, and nobody on board seems to know where we are, or where we are going. We get a regular satellite news feed and I saw on Fox News that we were headed towards the Korean Penninsula, but w...
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Funny story: Reflections of a Cranky Atheist

Reflections of a Cranky Atheist

There are times when I wish that more Christians, especially of the Social Conservative stripe, were more neighbor loving and less God fearing. I also suspect this would have the added effect of making them happier, more balanced people. Republicans have rewritten the Establishment Clause, "Congress shall make no law respecting the practice of Islam but shall make one prohibiting the free exer...
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Funny story: Ken Loach to direct Star Wars film

Ken Loach to direct Star Wars film

We just heard that the next Star Wars film will be directed by Ken Loach. We managed to get hold of a sneak peak of 'Star Wars; It's grim on Tatooine'. In a darkened room, the door slides open, making a shushing sound. A hooded figure walks in, his head stooped and sighs. From another room a female voice is heard. "Is that thee our Jeff?" "Aye mother." "Tha't late again; bend ovver t'...
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Funny story: Hollyweird's Hottest: Chelsea Handler

Hollyweird's Hottest: Chelsea Handler

Aging comedienne Chelsea ("Man") Handler was born to the lovely Rita, meter maid, and Seymour, a used car salesman, while they were living in sin in Livingston, New Joisey. As a child, Handler says she felt like an "impostor." All her high school friends drove a Porsche or a Lamborghini, but she "went to school in a BMW." Her father was a Jew, her mother a Mormon, so, naturally, Handler was rai...
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Funny story: Trump Family Takes Over London

Trump Family Takes Over London

The Trump Family, who arrived from the United States yesterday, have already begun to infuriate the British people. "First it was when that "First Daughter" (who now wants to be called the "Daughter Royal") Ivanka, called the local cuisine "crap" and insisted that all her food be imported from Parisian restaurants across the border in France while she was in Britain. Then when Trump thought Gu...
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Funny story: Дорогой Хиллари (Dear Hillary)

Дорогой Хиллари (Dear Hillary)

Please excuse my bad English. You most probably are wondering why I am writing to you, after what happened. What I did. Is very hard for man like me to admit, but I made mistake. How you say in American, "Vlad backed wrong horse." Or maybe even better, "Vlad have buyer's regret." Would much rather have you in White House than unpredictable red head. You at least are predictable. But I...
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Funny story: Never say Neverland

Never say Neverland

Never Never Land, CA --- The late Michael Jackson's estate, Never Never Land, named for Neverland, the fantasy island on which "lost boys" never become men, was the singer's home and, according to "unproven" allegations, the site of several molestations by "Wacko Jacko," as Jackson is also known. Supposedly, Wacko molested several preteen males who stayed at Never Never Land as his overnight "gues...
View 'Never say Neverland'
Funny story: Rachel Maddow: The Secrets of Her Success

Rachel Maddow: The Secrets of Her Success

NEW YAWK, NEW YAWK ---- Rachel "Meow" Maddow says her qualifications as the hostess of MSNBC's The Rachel "Meow" Maddow Show are her "lesbianism and her liberalism, in that order." A graduate of the University of Oxford (Mississippi), she boasts of her doctorate in politics and says she agrees with almost everything in "the Eisenhower-era Republican platform." When he heard of her statement,...
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Showing page 2 (of 460 pages)

Breaking News...

Trump Says Obama and Hillary Tricked Donald Trump, Jr. Into Releasing Incriminating E-Mails

"I got disguised, got him drunk, and then hypnotized him to make his e-mails public." said Hillary.
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