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Funny story: Leave that Frog Alone

Leave that Frog Alone

Chris was the taller of us. By maybe a half an inch, but when you're six years old half an inch is like comparing a walrus to a penguin. He was pudgy with curly brown hair and brown eyes. I on the other hand had blonde hair and blue eyes, was as skinny as a rail and my face was smothered in freckles. We were known as double trouble by our teachers and classmates. That was double trouble by co...
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Funny story: 14-Pound Bermuda Lobster Has His Say

14-Pound Bermuda Lobster Has His Say

"My weight is nobody's business but mine," huffed the lobster, in an interview with a reporter from The Spoof. The lobster continued, "It's an outrage. How would you like it if YOUR weight were the subject of discussion the world over?" And he's appalled at all the fat shaming on social media since he's been caught and brought onto land, "Why can't people just mind their own business?" he aske...
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Funny story: Ode to an Ex

Ode to an Ex

Hag, slag, you filfy old bag! Your minge is a sewer, your titties, they sag You can't call me squeamish, but I had to gag When I saw your pug-mug in that tacky slut mag Your 'friends' they all hate you, your pimp is a fag Trundlin' along in his clapped-out old Jag Your looks, about which, no cretin would brag Ho', that no right-minded being would shag Explanation for this...
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Funny story: Who are the Brexiters?

Who are the Brexiters?

They live amongst us. Some of them even look like us. So who are the strange but mad Brexit voters who have condemned the UK to years of ruin? TheSpoof's investigative reporter Geoff Stalin went to find out. Percy Shit is a Brexit voter who lives in Middlesborough. Every morning he wakes up and makes himself a cup of tea like any other normal Brit. But unlikely other Brits, Mr Shit does so bene...
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Funny story: Donald Trump and Bill Cosby Proved Members of Secret Misogynist Club

Donald Trump and Bill Cosby Proved Members of Secret Misogynist Club

An investigative report has uncovered the information that years ago, at the Playboy Club in Chicago, Bill Cosby and Donald Trump met and became charter members of the He-Man Woman Haters Club. The He-Man Woman Haters Club is a secret organization formed by stars that are so famous that they can kiss women and grab pussy any time they want. Although the membership list is secret, some of the me...
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Funny story: Trump Solves Evil Clown Mystery

Trump Solves Evil Clown Mystery

Donald Trump, Republican candidate for President of the U.S., gave a press conference and announced that he and his team had solved the riddle of where all the evil clowns around the U.S. were coming from. "This is all a plot by Obama and Hillary. The reasons are obvious" said Trump. He then listed the reasons: 1. People will be too scared of evil clowns to go out and vote for Trump. 2. T...
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Funny story: Drinking with Jesus

Drinking with Jesus

Jesus wiped the neck of his Heineken bottle with a damp napkin. "You people down here," he explained as He scrubbed the bottle vigorously, "are pretty disgusting. I mean, you guys really these plagues get out of hand." When he thought it was sufficiently clean, he took a long swig of the beer and slammed the bottle on the bar, sighed heavily and then said, "Damn I needed that! I got friggen dr...
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Funny story: I am Black Siri

I am Black Siri

To the Editor: I am bound by contract to not reveal my name, but I am the voice of Black Siri. Let me explain. I am a black woman who recorded my voice with Apple to be the black version of Siri. I am affirmative action in action. What black person wants to be told what to do by some white woman? White Siri can sound very know it all and bossy. My soothing black voice is your answer. When...
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Funny story: Brexit might not be quite such a bad idea after all!

Brexit might not be quite such a bad idea after all!

Utter fucking madness! We have just experienced the pinnacle of utter modern madness! A road trip from the Dutch / German border to the UK over the weekend to celebrate a 50th birthday. Insanity starts when one is scared stiff of going via Calais because of attacks from illegals attempting to enter the UK. I am not willing to allow my granddaughter to be exposed to such madness. Then the...
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Funny story: Meeting Donny J.

Meeting Donny J.

Michael Jackson's boyhood home. Gary, Indiana. Aside from the King of Pop, this metropolis didn't offer much. It was a pit. All that was left of this once booming steel town was boarded-up buildings, a few liquor stores that resembled jails with all of the metal bars protecting the premises, a minor league baseball team with a brand new baseball park (the "Railcats") and various river boat cas...
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Funny story: Maraschino Cherries: How They're Made Will Shock You

Maraschino Cherries: How They're Made Will Shock You

So, if you're a bar-geek you may already know that the bright red cherries starring in a Shirley Temple drink are not the real deal. The original maraschino cherries came from Croatia. They are made with whole Marasca cherries preserved in the liqueur made from them. These cherries still exist and you may run into one at an "artisan" bar. They are dark red, almost black. The U.S. developed...
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Funny story: I am Hillary's Drug Dealer

I am Hillary's Drug Dealer

To the Editor: I am embarrassed to admit it, and I do so anonymously. I am Hillary Clinton's drug dealer. It is embarrassing not because I am a drug dealer, I am proud of my profession. I have an easy work day, flexible hours, I meet interesting people, there is a whole danger element to my job and my friends think I am cool. But why can't I get cool accounts, like Jay Z or Drake or J...
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Funny story: Memorable Donald Trump Quotes

Memorable Donald Trump Quotes

Many of the U.S. Presidents have had memorable quotes, such as John F. Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." Franklin Roosevelt's "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" is one of FDR's most famous. If Trump ever becomes President, here are a few of his most memorable quotes: "There Was Blood Coming Out of Her Wherever" "And h...
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Funny story: Spoof Writers Union Endorses Trump

Spoof Writers Union Endorses Trump

Washington, DC - The Union of American Secret Spoofwriters, known as U ASS, officially endorsed Donald J. Trump for President. U ASS, which claims to be "blind" when it comes to politics, made the surprise announcement in the midst of Trump's public groping scandal. "We ridicule everyone," said Anthony Weiner, U ASS's newly hired CEO, who for years has targeted vulnerable women on social media...
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Funny story: WHEN I GROW UP

WHEN I GROW UP

When I grow up I'm gonna be rich and powerful, and then you'll see, I'll get back at all of you. (Sniff). I'm gonna have lawyers and I'll sue all of you and hurt you real bad. You'll be sorry. (Sniff) Some day I'm gonna grow up and I'm gonna be president, and then you'll be sorry. When I become president I'm gonna have all of you thrown in jail. (Sniff) I'm gonna be the most popular guy and I'...
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Funny story: 12 Things Donald Trump Will Do When He Becomes President

12 Things Donald Trump Will Do When He Becomes President

After threatening to imprison Hillary Clinton for what he considers to be her crimes, this reporter thought about making a list of actual illegal things Donald Trump has pledged to do should he ever reach the oval office. So here's a short list of illegal or at least unethical things Donald Trump has pledged to do when he becomes president. 1. Threatened to deport Melania if she gains too mu...
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Funny story: Halloween to Happyween: Smiles Not Scares This Year

Halloween to Happyween: Smiles Not Scares This Year

"This year is scary enough," says Heather Jamison, suburban mom. "A bunch of us got together, and decided to find ways to give kids a break this Halloween rather than scare them any more than they already are." The idea seems to be catching on across the nation. As the presidential election continues to progressively devolve in more disturbing and grotesque ways on a daily basis, parents are...
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Funny story: Heavy Clown Activity Proven to be Due To Trump Candidacy

Heavy Clown Activity Proven to be Due To Trump Candidacy

Bridgeport, Connecticut Circus scientists commented today on the recent increase of clowns in the nation. "We began to study this long before it was an epidemic, and now that it's reaching pandemic proportions, we are doubling our efforts. We need to find a cure and eventually a clown vaccine" spoke a circus scientist. "The whole process began to break down when Trump gave his speech about...
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Funny story: Newborns: "We Hate Our Boring Little Hats"

Newborns: "We Hate Our Boring Little Hats"

Hats off to newborns the world over who are staging protests (crying marathons in numerous hospital nurseries) this week against those ugly, tight, style-free hats pulled onto their heads shortly after birth. A Spoof reporter who talks baby talk interviewed a group of babies in a New York hospital to find out more about what's behind this hate-the-hat movement. "Those hats are just plain ugl...
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Funny story: Geraldo Rivera opens Mr. Howell's luggage

Geraldo Rivera opens Mr. Howell's luggage

I caught up with Geraldo five minutes before air time of his now famous "Geraldo opens Mr. Howell's luggage" special that rocked the world. "Here on this unchartered Island not too far from Tahiti where I was vacationing with my wife, was where we docked our boat and decided to snorkel" he told me in an exclusive pre show interview. "I noticed a handle sticking above the sandy beach so...
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Funny story: Hitler to Goebbels Letter Found

Hitler to Goebbels Letter Found

Road diggers near the site of the Reichstag building in Berlin have found what appears to be a letter from Adolf Hitler to Joseph Goebbels his Propaganda Minister dated June 1939. It reads... "Dear Joe, Thanks for the latest films and radio broadcasts. Great stuff. Especially the rallies. Nothing like heebie-jeebie spectacle... drums, flags and the darkness of night to get the German...
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Funny story: Corn Flakes Box Doorstoppers: How To Make One

Corn Flakes Box Doorstoppers: How To Make One

Here we are again with the latest in our How To Make One series, and this time it's something extremely useful, and also muchly cheap! If you've ever needed something to keep the door ajar on hot summer days, you're in luck, because my latest idea is the Corn Flakes box doorstopper. First, you need an empty Corn Flakes box. Size doesn't matter, but, if you really want to impress the neighbou...
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Showing page 2 (of 455 pages)

Breaking News...

Holiday tips from Santa!

When interviewed, Santa clause was quoted saying "Remember, if you're going to jingle then please jingle all the way". So remember folks, Santa doesn't like a half-assed jingler.
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