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Funny story: Zika killed me

Zika killed me

By Prince So ya'll wanna know how I died? You want the truth? It was Zika. You know the mosquito virus from Brazil? Yep, that's the one that did me in. Weird, right? You could have sworn it was AIDS, with all the sleeping around I did in the 80's. Or maybe a painkiller overdose like MJ and Elvis. Or perhaps heart disease, for which I refused medicine due to my Jehova's Witness beliefs. N...
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Funny story: VP NEEDED! Donald Trump needs you!

VP NEEDED! Donald Trump needs you!

[Donald Trump confers with his chief political advisor Michael Glassner, on the selection of a running mate:] MG (sorting through stack of resumes): What about this republican governor in Maine, LePage? DT: No one's ever heard of Maine. Next choice? MG: How about Silvio Berlusconi? DT: Isn't he in jail? Never mind. He's more outrageous than I am, he'd steal attention away from m...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Interview: I Will Allow My Picture to Go on the $100 Dollar Bill

Donald Trump Interview: I Will Allow My Picture to Go on the $100 Dollar Bill

Donald Trump graciously provided an in-depth interview on how he will mold the United States in his own, winning image. "First off, I will have my picture put on the $100 bill to show the world we are serious about finance. The whole world respects me as a businessman and everyone will want to own their own $100 bill just to stare at the picture and get inspiration," spoke Trump. "Next, I wi...
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Funny story: PU Powers of Scamatologists

PU Powers of Scamatologists

Scamatologists all over were overjoyed to have heard about new levels discovered that were superior to the OT levels, and even had the next highest alphabet lettering-PU. The PU Powers include the ability to smell really foul odors from miles away. "It's not really all that fun, in fact it's really annoying when you're in the middle of dinner and you can smell this raw sewage from miles away.
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Funny story: In-Depth Analysis of Kim Jong-Un: If He Has A Bad Hair Day He Launches A Missle

In-Depth Analysis of Kim Jong-Un: If He Has A Bad Hair Day He Launches A Missle

New revelations from servants within North Korea who served the ruling Kim family, revealed that Kim Jong-Un, rotund dictator of North Korea, launches missiles whenever he is having a bad day. This magazine did an investigation. 1. Kim Jong-Un succeeds his dad as dictator in North Korea in December of 2011. Four months later in April, the North Koreans launch a satellite that veers off course.
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Funny story: BBC World News April 2016

BBC World News April 2016

BARBARA: "Following the doctors' strike a man in Croydon had to have his leg removed when an ingrowing toenail turned septic. After receiving an epidural, a woman in Epping gave birth to deformed triplets. In Madrid, a man was shot dead during a botched supermarket robbery. While in Riga Latvia, a woman making an emergency phone call concerning the accidental death of her Pooch had her bag s...
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Funny story: Are You Gay or Straight?

Are You Gay or Straight?

Are You Gay but don't Know it? Maybe you don't shave twice a day, have seven girlfriends for each day of the week and have an interest in meditation?.. well this post is for you. If you are female maybe you have bigger questions in your life outside of ... "What do I do if I get pregnant?" Your REAL identity can be discerned easily. Are you really homosexual and don't know it? So homosexual in...
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Funny story: Kim Jon-Un Edges Out Putin for Biggest Asshole Leader Award

Kim Jon-Un Edges Out Putin for Biggest Asshole Leader Award

In an annual poll taken by Jerk Magazine, the dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-Un, has beaten out three-time winner Vladimir Putin as the leader who was the biggest asshole in 2015. "Although there were many contenders as usual, Kim Jong-Un was the hands-down winner this year, what with his nuclear threats and missile tests and labor camps and Putin actually doing something people like this y...
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Funny story: Top six names not appropriate for sports arenas...

Top six names not appropriate for sports arenas...

Hockey is a sport steeped in tradition. Unfortunately it's a tradition of supplying nicknames for its arenas that are way off track. Here are the top six offenders... 1.The Brink...not an official name. But used excessively during playoff season,. How would you like to be on the Brink all the time? 2. The Garden...A soft name for a brutal game... Brutal and a half if you count Knick appearan...
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Funny story: Now You Can Release Your Inner Trump

Now You Can Release Your Inner Trump

It used to be, you had to keep it all inside. Mommy said, "Play nice or you'll get a time-out." Well, you didn't want to play nice. You wanted to punch little Jimmy in the face and call little Susie an ugly whore. But you couldn't or Mommy or Teacher or Mr Policeman would make you face the consequences of your actions. So what did you do? You played 'Grand Theft Auto' and 'Call of Duty' to subl...
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Funny story: Dr. Ben Carson Performs Surgery on Trump's Brain

Dr. Ben Carson Performs Surgery on Trump's Brain

UPI: Hospital officials have confirmed that Dr. Ben Carson operated on Donald J. Trump last Thursday in the neurosurgical unit of the world's most elite hospital in Dubai, explaining the Republican frontrunner's uncharacteristic absence from the campaign trail over the past two weeks. Officials declined to offer details, but a leaked interview given by Dr. Carson to the Drudge Report-and intended...
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Funny story: Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, But ...

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, But ...

...Apparently they DO wear sneakers. This was confirmed recently when a 1500-year-old mummy was found in Mongolia wearing what looked like -- drumroll, please -- sneakers. Yikes! Guess you're never too old to wear sneakers! The find was a boon to sneaker manufacturers who seized upon the advertising possibilities. They immediately went to work on spirited slogans, such as: -- Treat...
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Funny story: Good For Business-Bad For Business

Good For Business-Bad For Business

After months of research and interviews with leading corporate executives, politicians, bankers and the clergy our economics editor at U-R-FKD magazine came up with the following simple portrait of our society and, indeed, most other societies on the planet. What really is good for society and what isn't?... is his question. The singular finding is the pervasive and shared belief that what is '...
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Funny story: Olaf the Consultant (819 - 851)

Olaf the Consultant (819 - 851)

Olaf was born somewhere in East Anglia; it is not clear where. He was a schemer and a bit of a rogue, but he did have an eye for opportunity. By the time he was twenty he had reputedly sold his parents' home and made off with the family jewels. They were, in fact, more like family stones. None of them had any significant value. His father, Cedric, had only stored them in a wooden box and told stor...
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Funny story: Spinny McGintz's Guide to Completing AA 12-Step Program in 1 Day

Spinny McGintz's Guide to Completing AA 12-Step Program in 1 Day

Yo everybody! It's me, your good friend Spinny McGintz. I'm here to help everyone succeed in completing AA's 12 Step program in only 1 day. AA, for those who don't know, is something about alcohol, so if you don't drink a lot of alcohol or haven't been arrested for a DWI and been ordered by some asshole judge to attend AA, you've probably never heard of it. Yeah, yeah, I got caught while d...
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Funny story: New Oscars Category- the - "I am My Body" Award.

New Oscars Category- the - "I am My Body" Award.

There is to be a new category in Next Years Oscar Academy Awards. It is called the "I am My Body" Award. And it will go the the actors who can most successfully convince audiences that they are their bodies and nothing much else. "You are your bodies", sheeple. Believe it. Possible recipients of the first award are: FEMALE: Liza Minelli, Cate Blanchett, Susan Sarandon, Nicole Kidman, Helen...
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Funny story: Never Compare The Easter Bunny To Santa - He Really Hates That!

Never Compare The Easter Bunny To Santa - He Really Hates That!

Cabo San Lucas, Mexico - Seven-year-old Johnny Dorrey and his little sister, Brook, were on spring break vacation with their parents, at a fancy resort in Cabo this week, when they thought they saw a familiar face, sitting under a beach umbrella, enjoying the sun and surf while relaxing with a big Pina Colada. The two children couldn't believe their eyes, and they plucked up the courage to go...
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Funny story: The Untold Story of White Sharks at the Jefferson Memorial Tidal Basin

The Untold Story of White Sharks at the Jefferson Memorial Tidal Basin

Unbeknown to the majority of people living today, there was a time in this country's history when great white sharks proliferated the tidal basin encompassing the Thomas Jefferson Memorial in the city of Washington, DC. The story had its origins in the great nutria revolt of 1932. The story starts with the great American Depression of the 1930's when then Secretary of State, Doug Witless, who...
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Funny story: Interview with Daniel Craig aka James Bond

Interview with Daniel Craig aka James Bond

Our reporter from U-R-FKD Magazine went along to the Café Royal London to interview Daniel Craig actor of the James Bond film series. Here is an excerpt from the encounter: Q; Daniel...how did you get selected for the role of James Bond? A: (Laughing); Somebody asked me... and here I am. Q: Who asked you? A: I'd rather not say. Q: Are you worried by the fact that your character bear...
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Funny story: A Soliloquy by the GOP

A Soliloquy by the GOP

To end, or not to end, that's the conundrum: Whether 'tis Nobler for the Party to suffer The Slings and Insults of outrageous Trump, Or to take Aim against his rowdy rabble, And by opposing end him: to cry, to weep No more! And by this Creep, to say we end The Headache, and the Xenophobia Our Party's heir to? 'Tis a conflagration We cannot now avoid. To cry, to weep, To weep, perchan...
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Funny story: 10 things you didn't know about Malta

10 things you didn't know about Malta

The tourist season is about to start once again but whether you're looking to visit the tiny Mediterranean islands of Malta this year or you already live there, here's some weird and wonderful things about the country we bet you didn't already know... 1. There's something fishy about the fish. Thanks to past British colonization and ruination of Malta, unlike the rest of the Mediterranean t...
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Funny story: Trump Analyzes Foreign Policy in Exclusive Report

Trump Analyzes Foreign Policy in Exclusive Report

Donald Trump gave his views on foreign policy to this magazine. We think you will find his views to be quite insightful. On Russian leader Vladimir Putin: "Putin thinks he's a big he-man, has a nice physique, likes to pose without his shirt on, he works out, rides horses, etc. What I would do would be to challenge Putin to a one-on-one, man to man boxing match, with the winner to decide the...
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Showing page 2 (of 449 pages)

Breaking News...

Obama in Hiroshima

Mr. President saying all the 'right' things.

"Death fell from the sky.", said he.

Never rains but it pours, eh?
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