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Funny story: Sting Joins Real Police In South Yorkshire

Sting Joins Real Police In South Yorkshire

World renowned musician Sting has embarked on his latest career with the South Yorkshire Police Force. His real name is Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner, no surprise then that he goes by Sting in his public career. Though his name tag on his police uniform says Sumner, Officer Thomas is what he likes to be called now. Officer Thomas sat down with this reporter to talk about the latest phase in his...
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Funny story: "Olympians In Paradise"

"Olympians In Paradise"

Ryan Seacrest (RS): "Jimmy Feigen, You've just won a Gold Medal in Swimming and donated 10 grand to charity. What are you going to do if you ever escape from Rio?" Feigen: "I thought about Disney World, but that offer was rescinded. So now I'm going to PARADISE!" CHRIS HARRISON JOINS RYAN SEACREST ON RIVAL NETWORK NBC. RS: "Chris Harrison, is Jimmy Feigen correct in that he is joining the...
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Funny story: New Trump Campaign Chiefs In Violent Squabble

New Trump Campaign Chiefs In Violent Squabble

Donald J. Trump has selected unrestrained, ultra right wing firebrand Stephen K. Bannon to be his campaign manager. Bannon is the editor of Brietbart, an incendiary publication noted for race-baiting diatribes, conspiracy theories, irreverence, lack of respect of social norms and willingness to stop on other people. Bannon joins Roger Ailes the head of Fox News, who was pushed out of his job d...
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Funny story: Migrant to Northern Ireland Laments his Choice

Migrant to Northern Ireland Laments his Choice

Migrant to Belfast, Shan Mahnoor speaks out. "I cannot understand the politics of this country. Sinn Fein rule... They are the bloody Mafia... Has nobody here heard of Adolf Hitler? Even beggars in the streets of Calcutta know of Adolf Hitler... but here they have their rights taken off them,... off them I say!... and they do not even notice... and not a word about it in their newspapers.
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Funny story: She Loves Me… She Loves Me Not: Options For Breaking-Up With Your Hairdresser

She Loves Me… She Loves Me Not: Options For Breaking-Up With Your Hairdresser

August is full of important events such as the summer Olympics, presidential campaign rallies, and for some, the first day of school. However, the most significant day of the month is August 21st. August 21st marks National Brazilian Blowout Day. This is the process where a highly trained hairstylist applies potentially hazardous chemicals to your curly tresses taking them from frizz to fab. T...
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Funny story: Mick Flynn Confronts The New World 'Order'

Mick Flynn Confronts The New World 'Order'

This story is not entirely made up. The encounter with the teller is based on fact. A man goes into his bank in Donegal Ireland to deposit 1,000 euros, most of what he had earned that month. Here follows the conversation he had that fateful Monday morning with the girl teller. As he reaches the window she studies his face for a few seconds, dismounts from her stool and seems to be searc...
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Funny story: UK Schools' Chess Report

UK Schools' Chess Report

It was great year for our beloved chess team for, on the 13th of June, the four of us set off to London for the UK Schools' Chess quarter-finals. We were in high spirits as we waved goodbye to Miss Smith and boarded the plane, remembering to strap on our flak-jackets and seat-belts, for we were certain that this year, at long last, Methodist College Belfast would take home the colours. However...
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Funny story: Will Penis Enlargement For White Men Advance Racial Harmony?

Will Penis Enlargement For White Men Advance Racial Harmony?

In a landmark study, psychologist Cedra Meadows has shown that when non-black men feel their penis size is adequate, all races around them tend to get a more fair shake in social and economic opportunities. In an excerpt from an interview for Psychology Today, Meadows talked about her study and some surprising conclusions. PT: What started your research in this field at a time when psycholog...
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Funny story: Terrorist Film All the Rage

Terrorist Film All the Rage

The documentary was released last week. Michael Moore calls it a "masterpiece". Sean Penn stars as ex-military specialist Commander Harry Bumsfelt who has won so many combat medals in Iraq that he will only appear with them in public if aided by a hoist. For years he campaigned and lectured for peace and armaments control in a threatened world but, now retired and running a small cigarette fact...
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Funny story: Woman's Genetic Roots Gnarled With Irish Shame

Woman's Genetic Roots Gnarled With Irish Shame

Dayton OH: Margaret Lypchits just hasn't been the same since her 58th birthday resolution to do a "life make-over". She explains; "I'd been divorced for 8 years. My maiden name is Lypchits which I legally changed it back to around a year ago. My husband left me for a younger thinner woman- just like you'd go do a trade in for a new car. I decided that before 60 I wanted to loose the 130lbs I've be...
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Funny story: APA Classifies Goth As "Narcissistic Depressive Disorder"

APA Classifies Goth As "Narcissistic Depressive Disorder"

The American Psychiatric Association released a controversial statement this week that classifies goth style as a condition to be treated with anti-depressants. APA spokesman Cole Redpost suggested in a press release that families and loved ones of those suffering from Goth or Narcissistic Depressive Disorder now have medical treatment options to choose from for NDD sufferers. "The APA is re...
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Funny story: High-fives Are Out, Fist-bumps Are In

High-fives Are Out, Fist-bumps Are In

Why? You ask. Well, here are a few possible reasons for the change: -- It may be more sanitary. Not exposing your whole hand to your friend's germs is a good thing. Why let your open palm sap up ALL your friend's germs, when your fist might have contact with only a limited number of them? -- Fingernail grooming may be greatly reduced. Yippee! Groom one thumbnail, and you'll probably be good...
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Funny story: Trump Rebukes Jesus

Trump Rebukes Jesus

"Who the hell does He think he is, telling me to love my neighbor as myself? I don't need His advice, my neighbors all love me already. They think I'm terrific, they worship me. "And where does He get off, telling me to turn the other cheek. When someone insults me they better run for the hills, before I let them have it, on both cheeks, and kick them in the ass, too. "I don't think...
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Funny story: How to Solve the World's Problems

How to Solve the World's Problems

A world order is not a bad idea. What is bad about it is WHO intends to run it and HOW and what will become of us all if they get their way. So, ending that is the first step to establishing the unity of Mankind. How? Here's what we do. We end the ruling bloodlines, the malevolent dynasties, the black heart of capitalism. We do this by closing down all the banks and putting on trial all those r...
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Funny story: ESCHeW DRAKOOLA

ESCHeW DRAKOOLA

Outside, on a pleasant evening, the quiet lot of parked Volvos and Priuses seemed at peace. But inside the small church basement, it was a scene of heartbreak as parents poured out their hearts to one another. "I don't understand," one mother cried. "I marched in Selma and protested the Viet Nam war and now my forty-year-old son has gone over to the dark side. I can understand his resentment at...
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Funny story: Medium Reveals All Of Hell Is A No Smoking Zone

Medium Reveals All Of Hell Is A No Smoking Zone

If you think you might go to Satan's fiery place instead of Heaven when you die, you better light up your cigarette now because all of Hell is a no smoking zone. Mysterious medium Maria Duval said she was in contact with the spirit of famed Roger Vivier, an enthusiastic smoker who designed many of the popular stiletto heel styles of the 1950s. In a letter on her blog, Duval told her fans a...
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Funny story: Charlie Brown Loses Virginity

Charlie Brown Loses Virginity

The sequence of events began innocuously enough, with the Cute Little Red-Haired Girl flashing a shy smile in Charlie Brown's direction as she read the note which he had hidden in her spelling textbook. When the final bell rang, she wasted no time in tucking her gym towel under one arm and taking Charlie by the hand, coyly leading him to a remote corner of the local pumpkin patch. After her...
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Funny story: Muppet Running Mate Announced in 2016 Presidential Election

Muppet Running Mate Announced in 2016 Presidential Election

This just in. Presidential Candidate, Angry Cheeto has finally announced his running mate. The world has been watching closely as Cheeto has narrowed down a short list of Vice Presidential possibilities, wondering whether he would choose to balance out his hot headed image and his reputation for empty calories. We go live now to where our crack reporter, Kermit the Frog, is on the ground,...
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Funny story: Urkel on Merkel

Urkel on Merkel

We are here with Jaleel White, who is best known for his role as nerdy Steve Urkel in the sitcom Family Matters. Jaleel has really grown up and is beyond his Urkel days, but at times it seems fans still confuse him with the character that he played. So today I wanted to get his impressions of Germany Chancellor Angela Merkel. So, Jaleel, I was strangely excited to meet you in person. Why'...
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Funny story: The Tavistock Institute's Parental Guidance Report

The Tavistock Institute's Parental Guidance Report

LONDON: The Tavistock Mind Control Institute and intellectual wing of the NWO has issued a "comprehensive report" to be distributed to all parental associations and school administrations. "It is perfectly clear to us, based on five years of extensive and rigorous research, " said Director Sir Oddball Pike, "that parents are simply not doing their job. This guideline is to help them and, if fol...
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Funny story: BMW Researching Self-Driving Cars

BMW Researching Self-Driving Cars

Like many auto manufacturers, BMW has been actively researching technologies that will, in the not too distant future, enable cars to drive themselves. In an exclusive Spoof News interview, Chief Engineer Max Brennstoff outlined some of the challenges that his team has encountered. "We failed to anticipate how difficult it would be to program even the most sophisticated computers available tod...
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Funny story: Farting Etiquette On The London Underground

Farting Etiquette On The London Underground

Everyone has done it at one time or another: sometimes you're in public and you just have to trump; and sometimes it's on the London Underground in peak traffic when you have to chuff. Then what do you do? This reporter looked for people who regularly ride the Tube to find out what people do if they have to fart on public transport. So what happened? Some people considered even asking the qu...
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