Bwaaa Haaa Haaa Haaa!
The POWER that comes with being one of the first ones to see the new Star Wars movie!
It is like being showered with the Dark Side of the Force!!!!!!
Bwaaa Haaa Haaa Haaa!
Yes, Hans Solo does come back in this new film- using a walker to get around. He finds the two new characters in his precious Millennium Falcon and yells out to them "Hey you kids! Get off my sh...
Hello It's Bono.
Dis year I have had to deal with those naughty boys from ISIS. Da buggers ran around killing people in Paris in an attempt to stop me singing. But I was able to get back on stage and show dem. Nothing stops Bono.
I plan to go to the middle east and take care of dem personally in the new year. This has got personal. You do not try to stop Bono.
While I was in Paris I wa...
Sumerians, about 5500 and 4000 BC, lived in contemporary Iraq. They believed in personal polytheism. Incidentally, their 'Anu' was the Supreme Ruler of the Kingdom of Heaven!
The Akkadian Empire, 2350-2170 BC, was an ancient kingdom centered in ancient Mesopotamia.
The 1st dynasty of Babylon reigned in Babylon. Hammurabi was the sixth king of this Dynasty, reigning from 1792 BC to 1750 BC...
"It was dark out and he was black. I was just shooting my gun off into the night for fun and he got in the way."
"I can't count beyond 3."
"I got carpal tunnel from doing so much paperwork and it caused my finger to lock up on the trigger."
"Oops! Forgot I wasn't at target practice!"
"I figured better to shoot him now while he is young than later when he might have a gun himself."
Houston, Texas -- When you think something, say something, my fellow Americans. I'm thinking that the Federal Government should be handing out Homeland Security Blankets to every man, woman and child in America. And I'm not afraid to say it. Here's why:
The nation is starting to panic. We recently lost our "home of the brave" status to Lithuania.
Wait, it gets worse. There were 5,672 "lone...
Mental Toughness Training is all the rage in America. It is promoted by the National Strength and Conditioning Association who, like the Scientologists, have written copiously on the subject. It is defined as "grit and determination to achieve one's long-term goals and to exercise combative skills and strength against one's adversaries." It could become big business.
U-R-FKD Magazine recently d...
Conspiracy Theories is the hard hitting website that isn't afraid to investigate and expose the dark forces that seek to prey in so many devious ways upon the general publicum. We are here because you need us! We are ever vigilant against those evil people, organizations, nations and cultures that are out to handicap and repress our great American lifestyle.
The following are the dark, sinister...
(To be sung to the familiar tune we all know so well)
Trump's dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones he used to know.
Where stores segregate and black folks listen
To hear those echoes of Jim Crow.
Trump's dreaming of a white Christmas
With every ethnic group he slights.
May his days be full of poison spite
And may all his Christmases be white.
Trump's dreaming of a white...
Congratulations on the purchase of your earth-friendly StaGreen™ all electric snowblower! Assembly of your new StaGreen™ snowblower should take no more than thirty minutes, following these simple instructions.
Do not attempt to plug your StaGreen™ snowblower into a wall outlet inside your house: if the selector switch is in the ON position the blades may rota...
[According to the website of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, the U.S. firearm homicide rate is 20 times higher than the combined rates of 22 countries that have similar wealth and population.]
Quick - there's not a minute to lose! Prompt action to keep out those foreigners is the only thing that will save us! They're coming from some lawless place that is wracked with violence, wh...
Our reporter from U-R-FKDmagazine met up with Illuminati member Sir Reginald Adder at the National Liberal Club London. Sir Reggie does not confess to being a member of the Illuminati but our reporter who is a distant cousin knows it to be a fact, hence his ability to gain access to Adder in the first place. The subject he wished to find his response to was ISIS and its current vendetta against th...
As a public service, the Alliance for Millennial Entitlement and Legitimacy has recently issued a definitive list of those core characteristics which describe this confident, great generation. The official list of Millennial Core Characteristics follows:
Their multi-tasking prowess is asserted by tokeing joints while texting and fiddling with piercings when on the freeway at speed.
Young Frankenstein, starring Dr. Ben Carson as the son following in the footsteps of his father, the infamous scientist, with Carly Fiorina as his sweetheart Inga, Ted Cruz as the doctor's hunchbacked assistant Igor, and Donald Trump as the monster with the abby-normal brain. Here is a preview:
Dr. C: Inga, what are you doing?
Carly: Roll, roll, roll. I am rolling in the $42 million in seve...
Quince: Is all our company here?
Trump: We don't need anyone else: I can play all the roles.
Quince: You are set down for Pyramus.
Trump: I'll play him, and Thisby, too. And the wall, and the lion.
Quince: You can play no part but Pyramus . . .
Trump: You watch - I'll be great. They'll love me, even in Iowa.
Quince: But . . .
Trump: Not only will I be great as Pyra...
I have been working for five years on the International Anti-Terrorism Forensic Task Force and after examining the Paris attacks I have yet again come to the conclusion that it was the governments that were behind this.
It's always the freakin' governments!
Boston - government!
Charlie Hebdo - government!
Australia - government!
And my superiors (obviously) don...
Stephen Fry has recently contacted The Spoof to express his grave displeasure at the contentious content published herein. There are too many snarky jokes about Ricky Gervais and Ronnie Corbett, but not enough about Hugh Lawrie, for example.
Dissatisfied with our replies, he has penned an open letter to The Spoof.
You know, nowadays, everything is just so overly delicate. You can barely move...
The gator (nicknamed Godzilla) nabbed outside a Houston-area mall has a lot to say about humans. Here are some direct quotes from his email to The Spoof:
-- "They muzzled me, which is why I'm using email for all my communications at this point. Phooey."
-- "They blasted my weight all over the Internet. What nerve! I plan to sue for invasion of privacy."
-- "I was just minding my own busin...
There's just no-one quite like Rand Paul in the current GOP running. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. (Probably neither, to be honest!)
Still, never mind. Rand Paul has daringly sought and found the ideal pragmatic solution to TWO WHOLE PROBLEMS: veteran's welfare and foreign policy!
Paul politically-hipsterfies as follows:
What does 'Support the Troops' really mean to the...
In physics, energy can be transferred or converted to kinetic, radiant, elastic, thermal or chemical energy, but it cannot be created or destroyed.
Benjamin Franklin, born 1706, before his discovery, believed that 'clouds formed over the ocean had more electricity than clouds formed over the land; therefore, when these two clouds came close enough to one anther, the different charges had to eq...
The famous expose website Wakileaks (yes, that is spelled correctly) has successfully tapped into a most intriguing phone call between those two most beloved of dictators in the world- Bashar al-Assad and his Grace Vladimir Putin of Russia. We have the transcript here just as it was translated from the phone tap:
Putin: Hello my old buddy Bashar! How are you doing?
Dolly Darling, the President's Secretary, excitedly and fearfully puts the finishing touches to the Oval Office, the new lair of her boss Donald Trump. He would be here shortly and she knows all too well how critical he is that everything should be perfect., or at least perfect as Donald Trump sees it. She knocks some lint off the large velvet rendition of Elvis in day glow colors in full rocker m...
"Well, Vladimir, you have a most impressive resume. I see that you started in the mail room at the KGB, worked your way up to the top of that organization, and then stole the entire country. Just exactly what is the secret to your success?"
"Is very simple, Roger. I may call you Roger? Secret is people are sheep, I am wolf. Wolf have no rules. Is natural order for wolf to eat sheep. So,...