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Funny story: Give up Fox News for Lent? No, never! Not this Troglodyte!

Give up Fox News for Lent? No, never! Not this Troglodyte!

My priest, Monsignor Felix Fyodore Ayonsokopsosky, told me I should give up Fox News for Lent. "You have been acting very strange lately, my son. You need to quit watching Fox News. You look terrible. You smell worse than terrible. You've become paranoid schizophrenic. It's made you a cave dweller," Monsignor Ayonsokopsosky told me after confession. "But Father Ayonsokopsosky, Fox News has b...
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Funny story: Ten Worst Things to say to Your Therapist

Ten Worst Things to say to Your Therapist

1. I don't know why I'm here. 2. How do I know you are not crazier than me? 3. There is no such thing as the unconscious. 4. I'll pay you if I get cured. 5. Who was the crazier between Freud and Jung? 6. I don't want prescribed any drugs. 7. My daddy is a psychotherapist. That's why I'm here. 8. I think politicians should be psychologically tested before they stand for office...
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Funny story: TLC Is Like Watching Folks Eat Their own Shit

TLC Is Like Watching Folks Eat Their own Shit

I will never understand why is is that politicians will attack the rights of gays to marry, will decry fictional violence in film, and go apoplectic if someone shows a tit on television, but won't say shit about the TLC Channel, which not only exploits those with mental disease, it celebrates dysfunction and rewards shitty parenting. Where's Mike Huckabee and his army of Bible Belting sinmesit...
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Funny story: Is the End of Storytelling the End of Humankind?

Is the End of Storytelling the End of Humankind?

A prominent member and spokesperson of the Trans-national Storytelling League has spoken out against all future planned governmental actions saying, 'I'm warning you, it will be the end of storytelling which is equivalent to saying, it will be the end of humankind.' Sufficiently aroused by his outburst, we sent in Simon Lingtorpe to interview Mr.Muse at his London home. S.L: Mr.Muse, which g...
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Funny story: Littlejohn and Toynbee not so Different in the End

Littlejohn and Toynbee not so Different in the End

Note: An earlier version of this article was originally published on the Daily Bull. But I never get tired of hearing from notable public figures, so here we are again. Yes, here we are again, and again, and again, and again... ... *** This is an excerpt from the debate I hosted between Richard Littlejohn and Polly Toynbee on a well known, highly-respected and thoroughly unbiased medi...
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Funny story: England ban smoking in cars (Well suck my exhaust!)

England ban smoking in cars (Well suck my exhaust!)

CIA HQ reporting from a dilapidated council flat in downtown Moss Side, Manchester - Newsflash: Smoking in cars to be banned in England! CIA health reporter, Ciggy Tarlung-Woodbine, has sent this report from the back of a Ford Cortina with a smokey past parked up in Moss Side, a no-go-smoke-free-zone The ministry of health has decided to ban smoking in cars in England from October 2015, they...
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Funny story: Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.

The Apocalypse is close at hand. The signs of the times are showing themselves. I am sure that there is a verse in Revelations that says "...and verily all the good comedians will leave the scene and only darkness shall thereafter be manifest...". Jon Stewart, primary televised purveyor of jokes and satirist extraordinaire for the entire western hemisphere has announced that he will be leaving...
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Funny story: The Foundering Fathers, on Original Intent

The Foundering Fathers, on Original Intent

"The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex." 19th Amendment to the Constitution, ratified, 1920 We hold these truths to be self evident-- That all men are created equally Except for political expediency Where slaves are three-fifths property. These truths we're told are quite self evident: Th...
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Funny story: Cockroach, curry, not Calcutta!

Cockroach, curry, not Calcutta!

Jaggedone's CIA have just received a report from roving, starving reporter, Jumpa In-Curry-Singh, from an Indian restaurant in Manchester Ladies and gentleman I have just experienced a near death experience after entering a chicken curry served in Mughli's Indian restaurant. I was enjoying a quick snack when a huge fork from above entered my rear end and before I ended up on the menu, I managed...
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Funny story: TLDC Announces ''Coming Out" - A Boot Camp for "Future Homos"

TLDC Announces ''Coming Out" - A Boot Camp for "Future Homos"

Mitchell Schlockmeister - Head of TLDC TV (The Learning Disabled Channel formerly just TLC) made the following announcement today at swank Beverly Hills Hotel, reported here in full. Well here comes another winner from TLDC with positive social benefits to boot. You know when we changed our name to more accurately reflect our audience demo's we also promised to get more serious about "LEARNI...
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Funny story: GOP Says Obama is Forcing Folks Back to Work

GOP Says Obama is Forcing Folks Back to Work

GOP leaders held a press conference after the news that job growth continued to expand dramatically under Democratic guidance. John Boehner surrounded by Ted Cruz and other Tea Party notables announced today: "This president with his pro growth policies is forcing folks back to work to make his Libtards look good before the 2016 election!" Washington reporter Candy Cookie asked him; " Are yo...
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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Says Drinking Age Should be 35 - Early Drinking Ruined His life!

Rush Limbaugh Says Drinking Age Should be 35 - Early Drinking Ruined His life!

He told Fox news today while visiting the Koch Brothers at Their Ranch in Aspen Colorado: - "If I had not started drinking at 18 I would not be sitting here around the pool with my best pals the Koch Brothers and getting drunk and high out of my Gourd on Oxycotin with four Russian Hookers!" "These libtards are so fcking permissive with their liberal spawn that they can get away with anything!"...
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Funny story: Confessions to Gay Priests Don't Count says Pope Francis

Confessions to Gay Priests Don't Count says Pope Francis

In an amazing revelation from His Eminence in the Vatican today; The Pope asserted during an interview with the Catholic Times Magazine, that Catholics who gave their confessions to Homo Priests would not be absolved from their sins -- he stated; "Priests who have been found outa to be queers have no standing with Goda, and any absolutions whicha they gave --are null and voida!" Catholic Ti...
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Funny story: From our Hack at the G-Jolly Summit

From our Hack at the G-Jolly Summit

RastaPutin: Hey, Bummer, you like Ukraine? :grin: Obummer: Where is it? :confused: RastaPutin: Oh vvck me! Is my vvcking holiday place. Black sea, u know, Crime no? :weary: Obummer: Oh yeh! Your dacha hangout, youre welcome. :sunglasses: :wink: :v: RastaPutin: Vot about middle east? :muscle: :blush: Obummer: Now were talkin. You need to fuck off out of there, that's ours. :angry: :u...
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Funny story: The Onion says The Spoof Has Jerkoff Editors, who knew?

The Onion says The Spoof Has Jerkoff Editors, who knew?

Moishe Pipick editor in chief for The Onion told Vanity Fair in an interview today: "If you look at the quality of coruscating satiric humor on The Spoof it's like a parody of fake news itself!" He said; 'they have some terrific writers and we have hired some recently like David Nelson and they all basically say the same thing -'The best stuff is left on the cutting room floor because their...
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Funny story: Fascism... Communism... What's the Diff?

Fascism... Communism... What's the Diff?

The following is taken verbatim from the George. W. Bush Institute's website (www.bushcenter.org). It's avowed aim is to spread the growth of what it calls 'freedom' around the world. In other words, the world belongs exclusively to America and no country can imagine it has the right to govern itself or think to escape its all-controlling hegemony. Of North Korea it says.... "More than 24 mi...
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Funny story: This Country's Gone to the Dogs Innit?

This Country's Gone to the Dogs Innit?

We have lost our bloody way as a nation we have. Our country has become infiltrated by joyless snobbish lefties, filthy immigrants, rampant homosexuals who are up for anything and miserable and fat feminists. What happened to the good old days innit? The good old days of Only Fools and Horses, Rolf Harris, Rod Stewart, The National Front, It It Ain't Half Hot Mum, New Faces, Jim'll Fix It, Dav...
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Funny story: Brain Scientist Loses Plot

Brain Scientist Loses Plot

Our reporter from "DEMOCRACY R.I.P" went along to the Tavistock Institute London to interview leading neuroscientist Professor Kurt Lobe who works there as scientific advisor. It was in relation to a recent article published in the Washington Post concerning new discoveries in brain functioning. We put several searching questions to the eminent scientist currently in line for a Nobel Prize for...
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Funny story: Albert Box's TV Review : The X Factor

Albert Box's TV Review : The X Factor

It's been a funny old day at the Institute. That is, the Institute of Expert Television Reviewers where I live. All the inmates here have to write reviews every day or we don't get any soup. Which is why it's strange that we only got a television yesterday. You'd think an Institute for television reviewers would have planned it better than that. Also you'd think they wouldn't have bars on the w...
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Funny story: Lupercalia! Before The Priests Ruined Valentine's Day

Lupercalia! Before The Priests Ruined Valentine's Day

On this upcoming day of amative imaginings i thought you might be interested in the Pagan provenance of Valentine's day - Lupercalia! The Lupercalia festival was in honor of the She-Wolf who suckled the infant orphans, Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome. Explaining the name of the festival, Lupercalia, which translates out into "Wolf Festival." The festival was celebrated near the cave of...
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Funny story: The Best Dream He Ever Had

The Best Dream He Ever Had

On reflection, he was more than happy that he had lived to experience such an event, however unreal it may have appeared at the time. He could see it all clearly now. Gazing up at the stars that seemed suddenly close and friendly he could not help but replay the scene over and over in his mind. To a stunned and packed Senate gathering President Barack Obama got slowly to his feet to announce th...
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Funny story: Michelle Obama Proposes Taxing Fat Americans

Michelle Obama Proposes Taxing Fat Americans

America's first lady announced at a White House press conference today: "In these tough times we can't have forty percent of the population flushing unnecessary vital resources down the toilet! "It's a waste of much needed food and energy and toilet paper! "We could eliminate 78 million acres of deforestation - which will help fight global warming! "Every time a fat person takes an une...
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Showing page 2 (of 437 pages)

Breaking News...

Saint Patrick's Day Celebrations may offend

People all over the World who 'just can't wear green' may cause Saint Pat's Day Celebrations to be rethought.

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