Now the middle of classes were middler than most
They had oodles of things on which they could boast.
They had cars, and houses, and TVs and more
They were boasting and boasting of goodies galore.
Til one day the bottom all dropped out from under
The middle of classes was torn quite asunder.
The greed of the 1% people with money
Decided to steal all the milk and the honey.
There'd be n...
Just as the rich say that breaking the cycle of poverty is a never-ending battle because it is self-perpetuating, some are now using that same logic to try and explain the unmitigated greed that is threatening to tear apart entire states such as Wisconsin and Michigan.
The rich, or as they like to refer to themselves as "the haves" say they simply can't help it. "We were born this way. It's how...
In the beginning, the Governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker, said that in order to balance the budget, the State was going to have to do away with collective bargaining rights for some of its public workers, most notably, teachers. Thus began a battle that included an exodus of Democratic senators from the state in an effort to keep the bill from becoming law and daily protests by tens of thousands...
Good4You News has announced today that it will no longer be airing good news stories on the internet. The 'round the clock good news channel was the last of its kind and was hanging on for dear life when the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster trifecta hit Japan.
"We were down to rescued puppy and kitten stories, but were still able to eke a living out of the site," said Stan Goodman, dire...
Sure, Charlie Sheen was a big star at the height of his career. And sure, he made a hit out of the show Two and a Half Men. But when you have that much fame, piss it all away on drugs and booze, and then try to keep the star thing going, you have to, at some point say "Hey, that guy's 15 minutes are up."
Such is the case with Charlie Sheen. He tried to keep it going even after losing his wife,...
With the advent of Social Networking, there comes a whole new set of rules pertaining to privacy of information. While some people take it upon themselves to give as little information as possible to try to protect their private information, others find nothing wrong with giving TMO (too much information) to the point that you know everything about them from their favorite hobbies to the precise t...
Bye Bye Youth
(Sung to Bye Bye Love)
Yet another oldie to tap your toes to, whether you're rockin' to the oldies in your favorite rockin' chair or buzzin' past the nurses in your brand spankin' new mobility scooter. Who better to parody than the Everly Brothers, who are still alive to sing along to this one.
Bye bye youth,
Bye bye agility,
I think I'm a gonna cry-y.
Washington, DC - China's President Hu Jintao (pronounced Hoo Jin-tou or, said quickly, 'who's in town?'), was scheduled to spend three days at the White House for a state visit, and was the first important item on President Obama's agenda since William Daley became the White House Chief of Staff. Everything was expected to be perfect and as such, President Obama relied on Daley to make sure everyt...
Back by popular demand, here is yet another great oldie to add to your collection. While most of us know the tune to the Kinks' "Apeman" song, I am linking it here to help you fit my words to the melody, with a slight variation.
(Sung to the Kinks' "Apeman"
I know I am growing older cause my hair is getting gray like
But I'm hanging onto...
Eight Pills a Day
(To Beatles' Eight Days a Week)
Ooh I need a doctor,
Don't you know it's true.
Cause I have bursitis,
Dementia and the flu.
Aspirin, Ben Gay, pain pills, oi vey,
Got to take my meds babe,
Eight pills a day.
Got a heart condition,
Liver's shot to hell.
And the water weight gain,
Is making my feet swell.
Aspirin, Ben Gay, pain pills, oi vey,
Ain't got nothin' b...
The debate over whether advance care planning is actually another way to describe death panels is rearing its ugly head again since regulation started January 1st. The few folks who are still fuzzy on exactly what the intent of the regulation is are claiming that it will cause some folks who are facing some tough decisions, such as whether or not to continue life-sustaining treatment, to just say...
A Tribute to Elton John's New Son, Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John:
(For all those folks who sing along at the top of their lungs and 'think' they know all the words)
Levon wears his wahoo like a clown
Calls his child Jesus
Cause he likes the name
And he senses it's the finest school in town
And Jesus, he wants to go to Jeee-suhs,
Leavin' Levon far behinds
Spend his time counting...
The story of the Three Wise Men is told every Christmas holiday season but no one is really certain that the story has any basis in reality. This makes such a story ripe for a satirical slant. Therefore, without further adieu, I bring you "The Three Wise Men of the Spoof."
And it is told that in ancient times (or at least back in 2003) there was and had been a young man who believed in nothing...
Malverna C. Charpa gets excited every time she hears there is an upcoming meteorite shower and adjusts her sleep pattern weeks in advance of the events to be sure she is up and awake in the early morning hours to watch the show.
This year's Geminid Meteor Shower was no exception and in fact, was highly anticipated because of the frequency of "shooting stars" that can be seen at its peak. But th...
It's getting close to Christmastime
And the snow is coming down,
I usually build a snowman
Like everyone in town
Mine has a big round belly
And two eyes made out of coal
But this year I reached puberty
So my snowman has a pole.
I gave my snowman a Wiener
And I was mighty proud
But when it was all finished
It drew a great big crowd
My momma didn't like it
And she went and go...
I'm Rolling My Balls in Sugar
I'm rolling my balls in sugar
The perfect Christmas gift
To send to all my lovely friends
It gives them quite a lift
I soak them in a bit of rum
And dry them overnight
Then roll in sugar and wrap them,
To make them taste just right.
My balls are always the right size
To pop right in your mouth
Just make sure you don't eat them all
Or you could end up...
Now that another Thanksgiving has come and gone and the last of the turkey meat is being picked from the carcass, you may be wondering if there is anything you can do with the carcass besides putting it in the trash. And the answer would be a resounding yes!
Here are 5 awesome uses for that dried out leftover turkey carcass:
1. Use as a vessel for a birthday piñata. Real piñatas cost an arm...
Meanwhile, down the street in an old abandoned sawmill, Charpa was busy at work on a plan. No one had noticed the big burly brute who had been arriving nightly with several truckloads full of wooden planks of all sizes. Charpa had a plan "and a damned good plan at that," she thought to herself as she watched the wood being stacked in the corner haphazardly. "This is a good a plan as we have, seein...
A Boise, Idaho woman has recently been arrested and charged with practicing medicine without a license when she was caught giving free breast exams to two women in an Idaho nightclub. In the interest of educating other women out there who might come across someone trying to pull the same scam, I've come up with a list of things to watch out for while out on the town:
Clues you may be dealing wi...
As requested, here is one on the unholy union of Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin--one of reality television's finest feats.
The Crazy Bunch (to the Brady Bunch)
Here's the story of a momma grizzly
Who had 5 kids and a grandson that made six
All of them were living large in Alaska
Way back up in the stix,
And the story of a blonde so dizzy
That she had sextuplets plus two other kids
I decided to take a catchy cartoon jingle and spoof Kate Plus Eight, my favorite spoof celebrity subject.
(To the Tune of Flintstones)
Meet the Gosselins
Gosselins, Meet the Gosselins,
They're a crazy mixed-up family
From the town of Reading
They've made their name in reality
Let's see what the mama of the clan
Does to emasculate the family man
Gosselins, meet the Gosslins
The Acme Implants Company has issued a major recall of their Caesar Gluteus Maximus model #110 buttocks implants due to faulty design. Major complaints by implant patients include a condition known as "flat butt" when a patients sits for longer than one hour in the same position, as well as severe and unflattering "dimpling" when the buttocks are squeezed too roughly during sexual encounters.