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Funny story: How Grover Norquist Stole Christmas

How Grover Norquist Stole Christmas

Now the middle of classes were middler than most They had oodles of things on which they could boast. They had cars, and houses, and TVs and more They were boasting and boasting of goodies galore. Til one day the bottom all dropped out from under The middle of classes was torn quite asunder. The greed of the 1% people with money Decided to steal all the milk and the honey. There'd be n...
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Funny story: Don't Blame the Rich, It's a Generational Thing

Don't Blame the Rich, It's a Generational Thing

Just as the rich say that breaking the cycle of poverty is a never-ending battle because it is self-perpetuating, some are now using that same logic to try and explain the unmitigated greed that is threatening to tear apart entire states such as Wisconsin and Michigan. The rich, or as they like to refer to themselves as "the haves" say they simply can't help it. "We were born this way. It's how...
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Funny story: Scott Walker Spends Taxpayer Dollars to Defend Lawsuit

Scott Walker Spends Taxpayer Dollars to Defend Lawsuit

In the beginning, the Governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker, said that in order to balance the budget, the State was going to have to do away with collective bargaining rights for some of its public workers, most notably, teachers. Thus began a battle that included an exodus of Democratic senators from the state in an effort to keep the bill from becoming law and daily protests by tens of thousands...
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Funny story: Lack of Good News Spells Doom for Last Good News Channel

Lack of Good News Spells Doom for Last Good News Channel

Good4You News has announced today that it will no longer be airing good news stories on the internet. The 'round the clock good news channel was the last of its kind and was hanging on for dear life when the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster trifecta hit Japan. "We were down to rescued puppy and kitten stories, but were still able to eke a living out of the site," said Stan Goodman, dire...
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Funny story: Charlie Sheen's Fifteen Minutes of Fame has Fizzled

Charlie Sheen's Fifteen Minutes of Fame has Fizzled

Sure, Charlie Sheen was a big star at the height of his career. And sure, he made a hit out of the show Two and a Half Men. But when you have that much fame, piss it all away on drugs and booze, and then try to keep the star thing going, you have to, at some point say "Hey, that guy's 15 minutes are up." Such is the case with Charlie Sheen. He tried to keep it going even after losing his wife,...
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Funny story: Sexually Offensive Avatars Create Dilemma on Shared Internet Sites

Sexually Offensive Avatars Create Dilemma on Shared Internet Sites

With the advent of Social Networking, there comes a whole new set of rules pertaining to privacy of information. While some people take it upon themselves to give as little information as possible to try to protect their private information, others find nothing wrong with giving TMO (too much information) to the point that you know everything about them from their favorite hobbies to the precise t...
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Funny story: Old Boomer Hit Parade: Bye Bye Youth

Old Boomer Hit Parade: Bye Bye Youth

Bye Bye Youth (Sung to Bye Bye Love) Yet another oldie to tap your toes to, whether you're rockin' to the oldies in your favorite rockin' chair or buzzin' past the nurses in your brand spankin' new mobility scooter. Who better to parody than the Everly Brothers, who are still alive to sing along to this one. Bye bye youth, Bye bye agility, Hello senility, I think I'm a gonna cry-y. By...
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Funny story: Communication Between Obama and Chief of Staff Devolves into Abbott and Costello Sketch

Communication Between Obama and Chief of Staff Devolves into Abbott and Costello Sketch

Washington, DC - China's President Hu Jintao (pronounced Hoo Jin-tou or, said quickly, 'who's in town?'), was scheduled to spend three days at the White House for a state visit, and was the first important item on President Obama's agenda since William Daley became the White House Chief of Staff. Everything was expected to be perfect and as such, President Obama relied on Daley to make sure everyt...
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Funny story: Old Boomer Hit Parade: Aged Man

Old Boomer Hit Parade: Aged Man

Back by popular demand, here is yet another great oldie to add to your collection. While most of us know the tune to the Kinks' "Apeman" song, I am linking it here to help you fit my words to the melody, with a slight variation. Kinks' "Apeman" Aged Man (Sung to the Kinks' "Apeman" I know I am growing older cause my hair is getting gray like an octogenarian. But I'm hanging onto...
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Funny story: Old Lady Gaga Hit Parade: Eight Pills a Day

Old Lady Gaga Hit Parade: Eight Pills a Day

Eight Pills a Day (To Beatles' Eight Days a Week) Ooh I need a doctor, Don't you know it's true. Cause I have bursitis, Dementia and the flu. Aspirin, Ben Gay, pain pills, oi vey, Got to take my meds babe, Eight pills a day. Got a heart condition, Liver's shot to hell. And the water weight gain, Is making my feet swell. Aspirin, Ben Gay, pain pills, oi vey, Ain't got nothin' b...
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Funny story: Advance Care Planning Initiative Kills Trees Not People

Advance Care Planning Initiative Kills Trees Not People

The debate over whether advance care planning is actually another way to describe death panels is rearing its ugly head again since regulation started January 1st. The few folks who are still fuzzy on exactly what the intent of the regulation is are claiming that it will cause some folks who are facing some tough decisions, such as whether or not to continue life-sustaining treatment, to just say...
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Funny story: Elton John Calls His Son Jesus 'Cause He Likes the Name

Elton John Calls His Son Jesus 'Cause He Likes the Name

A Tribute to Elton John's New Son, Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John: (For all those folks who sing along at the top of their lungs and 'think' they know all the words) Levon wears his wahoo like a clown Calls his child Jesus Cause he likes the name And he senses it's the finest school in town And Jesus, he wants to go to Jeee-suhs, Leavin' Levon far behinds Spend his time counting...
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Funny story: The Three Wise Men of the Spoof

The Three Wise Men of the Spoof

The story of the Three Wise Men is told every Christmas holiday season but no one is really certain that the story has any basis in reality. This makes such a story ripe for a satirical slant. Therefore, without further adieu, I bring you "The Three Wise Men of the Spoof." And it is told that in ancient times (or at least back in 2003) there was and had been a young man who believed in nothing...
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Funny story: Texas Woman Gets Bonked on Head by Stray Meteorite

Texas Woman Gets Bonked on Head by Stray Meteorite

Malverna C. Charpa gets excited every time she hears there is an upcoming meteorite shower and adjusts her sleep pattern weeks in advance of the events to be sure she is up and awake in the early morning hours to watch the show. This year's Geminid Meteor Shower was no exception and in fact, was highly anticipated because of the frequency of "shooting stars" that can be seen at its peak. But th...
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Funny story: An Off-Color Christmas Album - Carol #2: I Gave My Snowman a Wiener

An Off-Color Christmas Album - Carol #2: I Gave My Snowman a Wiener

It's getting close to Christmastime And the snow is coming down, I usually build a snowman Like everyone in town Mine has a big round belly And two eyes made out of coal But this year I reached puberty So my snowman has a pole. OH, I gave my snowman a Wiener And I was mighty proud But when it was all finished It drew a great big crowd My momma didn't like it And she went and go...
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Funny story: An Off-Color Christmas Album - Carol #1: I'm Rolling My Balls in Sugar

An Off-Color Christmas Album - Carol #1: I'm Rolling My Balls in Sugar

I'm Rolling My Balls in Sugar I'm rolling my balls in sugar The perfect Christmas gift To send to all my lovely friends It gives them quite a lift I soak them in a bit of rum And dry them overnight Then roll in sugar and wrap them, To make them taste just right. My balls are always the right size To pop right in your mouth Just make sure you don't eat them all Or you could end up...
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Funny story: 5 Awesome Uses for Leftover Turkey Carcasses

5 Awesome Uses for Leftover Turkey Carcasses

Now that another Thanksgiving has come and gone and the last of the turkey meat is being picked from the carcass, you may be wondering if there is anything you can do with the carcass besides putting it in the trash. And the answer would be a resounding yes! Here are 5 awesome uses for that dried out leftover turkey carcass: 1. Use as a vessel for a birthday piñata. Real piñatas cost an arm...
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Funny story: Born to Spoof - Chapter 7: The Best Laid Plans

Born to Spoof - Chapter 7: The Best Laid Plans

Meanwhile, down the street in an old abandoned sawmill, Charpa was busy at work on a plan. No one had noticed the big burly brute who had been arriving nightly with several truckloads full of wooden planks of all sizes. Charpa had a plan "and a damned good plan at that," she thought to herself as she watched the wood being stacked in the corner haphazardly. "This is a good a plan as we have, seein...
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Funny story: Clues that the Plastic Surgeon You Met at a Nightclub is a Fake

Clues that the Plastic Surgeon You Met at a Nightclub is a Fake

A Boise, Idaho woman has recently been arrested and charged with practicing medicine without a license when she was caught giving free breast exams to two women in an Idaho nightclub. In the interest of educating other women out there who might come across someone trying to pull the same scam, I've come up with a list of things to watch out for while out on the town: Clues you may be dealing wi...
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Funny story: Parody Week - The Crazy Bunch

Parody Week - The Crazy Bunch

As requested, here is one on the unholy union of Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin--one of reality television's finest feats. The Crazy Bunch (to the Brady Bunch) Here's the story of a momma grizzly Who had 5 kids and a grandson that made six All of them were living large in Alaska Way back up in the stix, And the story of a blonde so dizzy That she had sextuplets plus two other kids All...
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Funny story: Parody Week - Meet the Gosselins

Parody Week - Meet the Gosselins

I decided to take a catchy cartoon jingle and spoof Kate Plus Eight, my favorite spoof celebrity subject. (To the Tune of Flintstones) Meet the Gosselins Gosselins, Meet the Gosselins, They're a crazy mixed-up family From the town of Reading They've made their name in reality Let's see what the mama of the clan Does to emasculate the family man Gosselins, meet the Gosslins All...
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Funny story: Legal Alert #1: Major Implant Manufacturer Recalls Buttock Implants

Legal Alert #1: Major Implant Manufacturer Recalls Buttock Implants

The Acme Implants Company has issued a major recall of their Caesar Gluteus Maximus model #110 buttocks implants due to faulty design. Major complaints by implant patients include a condition known as "flat butt" when a patients sits for longer than one hour in the same position, as well as severe and unflattering "dimpling" when the buttocks are squeezed too roughly during sexual encounters. I...
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