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Tuesday, 27 September 2011

image for Letters to the Editor: The Dorking Review The Dorking Review Editor, describing the Authors

Dear Sir,

I have finished reading the last few pages of your book. I was trapped in Dorking station toilets overnight, after a few drinks and a vindaloo. If it were not for the quality of paper used in this publication, my arse could have ended up being very sore. I got to page 250, and thank god, the Station Master let me out the next morning. Although I have only read the last forty two pages, the book is very good.

Best Regards
Rev. Pelmet Parson


Dear Sir,

I read this book, it had pages, and some pictures. There was lots of words written in black. The pages were white, which was nice. I read it in one hour. Then I read it again in another hour. Finishing when the big hand was on the twelve, and the little hand was on the three. Midnight.
It is a very good book, and looks like a book, which was nice, because I like books.

Yours Faithfully

Stephen Fry

Dear Sir,

I write from my hospital bed, to inform you, that your book is so funny, I laughed my tits off. The surgeons have sewn them back on, but I think one is now higher than the other.
Please sign my copy and return. Thank you.

Best regards.

Katie


Dear Sir,

We have managed to smuggle a copy of your book onto the isle of Wight. It is in Mrs Scrongles kitchen cupboard. Can you please sign it for us when you come over. Keep the address a guarded secret.

Yours

Isle of Wight Librarian Front.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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