August's winner of the Inchcock Gazette Political Ode
The Right Honourable William Hague MP (Referred to as WH in the ode)
First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs.
The richest MP in Parliament
Inchcock Chambers RIP (Referred to as IC in the ode)
Out of work lower grade elderly Spoofer
Under Medical Care.
Basic pension, in debt up to his eyeballs.
WH drinks champagne and the odd gin and tonic, a true alcoholic,
IC drinks Asda tea, the tea-belly, and that tastes chronic,
WH likes money, wealth, men, and things bucolic,
IC likes the internet, well it's company for the prick,
WH worries about his investments, and his next political gimmick,
IC worries about buying his food, and the Government trick,
WH goes on many a holiday, and feels so home sick,
IC stays at home, concerned with things apostolic,
WH fancies Patrick, Frederick, and Dominic,
IC fancies his chances of fame, writing things laconic,
WH eats caviar, nearly extinct, and imported from the Baltic,
IC eats dry bread and the odd out of date price-reduced fish-stick,
WH adorns himself with Harrod's soap and a light shade of lipstick,
IC adorns himself with a refreshing bar of household red carbolic,
WH retires at night, dreaming of Marcus Trescothick,
IC retires at night worried about catching colic,
WH goes to bed with his wife Ffion, or maybe Nigel or Dick,
IC goes to bed with depression and his tin made candlestick,
WH his language is refined although ridden with hyperbolic,
IC his language is common, though his nature is angelic,
WH has a private doctor, for problems mild or diastolic,
IC Band aids, Vaseline, and tube of Vick.
The author of this pathetic ode, would like to point out that it was Not inspired by any jealousy of the rich scumbag of a crooked spoon-in-the-mouth-fed snotty, rich, arrogant, self-righteous, pompous, nepotistic, greedy MP's nature.