Loony liberals, fag hags and Swedes are all followers of a new trend - raising a child to be "gender-neutral". The child is raised to not follow any traditional male and female role models, but to be open to influences from both.
The ideas have been around for a while. Hippies in the 1960s began to question society's traditional ways of raising children - blue and Action man dolls for boys and pink and Barbie dolls for girls. Modern adherents also deny the basic differences between men and women, and teach children that boys should wear skirts and makeup. Some of them hope that the next generation will grow up to become gay-friendly and androgenous, like an army of Lady Gagas.
The movement has plenty of critics. Reginald Knickers (Mrs) was raised in a gender-neutral family in the 1960s, but says that he was forced to wear a dress until the age of 8. He was bullied so mercilessly at school that even now he is unable to speak without wearing a lampshade over his head.
He says that gender neutrality goes against nature, and that it denies people their right to live as the sex they were born into. Although he talks like a pussy, he has a point.
Psychologists agree that enforcing an extreme gender-neutral environment can lead to teenagers constantly using the wrong toilets at school, attempting to bite off their own genitalia, and insisting on calling teachers "It" instead of "Sir" or "Miss".
It is a worrying trend. Increasingly children are being pressurised by fashionable parents into having an operation to convert them into a hermaphrodite, particularly in Sweden. One leading psychologist said, "If parents want to raise a hermaphrodite, we recommend they get a pet slug instead."
No-nonsense social commentator Dan Withis said, "It really is political correctness gone mad. I'm raising my boys to bully the crap out of these pussies."