Written by Dirty Milk
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Sunday, 31 July 2011

One day it was announced that everything would be rationed as there was a short supply of everything, making it a pipe dream even to buy toilet rolls and kitchen towel.

Because of the grave rationing there was to be only one toilet roll for every 100 people.

In fact you would be lucky if you got only one sheet of toilet paper, but even that wasn't enough so people found ingenious ways to make ends meet if they had to wipe up after toilet, like using grass as toilet paper as that wasn't in short supply because it grew naturally, but only if there was enough rain.

However, even grass could eventually get depleted because of the vast numbers of people who had to use it as toilet paper all because toilet paper was in short supply, and you know why.

That is all because the 'No hope Party, won the general election, with Edward Failure being elected as the new prime minister.

The 'No Hope Party' was a political party notorious for creating a society where everything was to be in cut down.

It was their policy to starve the entire population.

Any protests would be severely dealt with, resulting in being sent to prison for 70 years; worse of all:

"Capital punishment.

Even answering back was a serious crime and would result in a prison sentence lasting 40 years.

Even food was to be gravely rationed, which meant that everyone was would have to make to with only one meal a day, its no wonder that millions suffered malnutrition.

Craved with hunger, many people resorted to hunting animals for food, even that was to be outlawed, resulting in a prison sentence for life, because,

"According to the ruling 'No Hope Party' killing animals for food was considered murder.

Eventually a law was passed that meant that anyone hunting down animals for food would be hanged.

Many people tried to leave the country to escape from the 'No hope' dictatorship, but even that was to be blocked, all escape routes to be cut off, by sending lions to guard the British coast, with the result that anyone who tried to leave Britain got caught by the coastal lions and eaten.

Another mad scheme to be introduced by the ruling 'No Hope Party' was the introduction of school leopards into Britain's state schools and public schools.

These would be used to track down any boy or girl who tried to escape from school.

Being caught by the school leopard often resulted in being gobbled up by the beast.

Another punishment for running away from school was the butt of a rifle.

Even swearing at the teacher was to be outlawed, often resulting in being shackled to the classroom ceiling for two days, and even worse being chucked into a rubbish bin.

One day it was announced that everything would be rationed as there was a short supply of everything, making it a pipe dream even to buy toilet rolls and kitchen towel.

Because of the grave rationing there was to be only one toilet roll for every 100 people.

In fact you would be lucky if you got only one sheet of toilet paper, but even that wasn't enough so people found ingenious ways to make ends meet if they had to wipe up after toilet, like using grass as toilet paper as that wasn't in short supply because it grew naturally, but only if there was enough rain.

However, even grass could eventually get depleted because of the vast numbers of people who had to use it as toilet paper all because toilet paper was in short supply and you know why.

That is all because the 'No hope Party, won the general election, with Edward Failure being elected as the new prime minister.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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