Apple Inc, who have more financial clout than the US government have decided to assist Obama's ailing attempt to save the US from a financial meltdown by buying the White House!
There are several conditions attached to the deal here they are:
A) Apple Inc. boss, Steve Jobs, takes over as President and Obama becomes his personal chauffeur and shoe-shine boy; Obama's wife his personal maid and mistress.
B) A giant green, shiny apple is to be placed on top of the White House and lit up 24/7 together with an advertising board announcing all of the latest Apple products.
C) Microsoft owner and Apple's major competitor, Bill Gates, is to be accused of spying for the Russian government, stripped of his US nationality and shipped off to Guantanamo Bay for several sessions of waterboarding.
D) The Rebublican opposition rebel-rouser, Sarah Palin, is to be exiled to Alaska (?) and fed to the polar bears.
E) The American army should be withdrawn from their useless campaigns in Iraq and Afghanistan, sent home for a period of R & R and once recovered, attack China with their allies Japan because the Chinese don't like rotten Apples anyway and will become the Nr.1 world power within 10 years.
and many more.
Steve Jobs is willing to bail the US government out and take over the country, but only if the above mentioned demands are met; Obama gladly agreed and told the press: "thank the fuck I'm out a here, look at my grey hair, I've become impotent and I'll glady polish Steve's jackboots!"