I agreed to meet Gemaine Gearbox, Senior Political Editor, in a secret location at 33 Ribald Road East Finchley. When I arrived, I gave the coded knock that would ensure she would open the door.
An hour later, no answer, so I threw a brick through the window.
The front door opened, and I was ushered in, why she had a cinema employee opening the door, nobody knew. I was shown into the lounge, then the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and garden. I told the Estate Agent I was not here to buy the house. I found Germaine in the conservatory, sitting in a large plant pot. " The toilet is broken" she strained. Her ablution over, we sat down to talk.
I asked the leading question. "Why did your newspaper, hack peoples phones and use that personal private information to sell copy"?
"We did not hack peoples phones! Honest! We like people"
I pressed harder, "Yeah, Yeah, wotever"!
"Okay, we might have used people with huge ears to listen in on conversations, but we did not hack phones"
I asked why she had a scanner with her.
"You never know who might be walking past"
"So your saying, your newspaper never hacked phones, and used that information to create headlines"
"What you doing later"? I asked cunningly.
"Editing a phone conversation between David Cameron and the manager of the local McDonalds resturant"
"Really! What's he saying"?
"Davids complaing about his McFlurry"
"Wow! there good those scanners, where can I get one"?
Germaine gave me the address of her underground scanner supplier, I will be investigating Mr Dixon and his seedy business in the future.