Written by Lady Godiva
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Friday, 8 July 2011

image for Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, speak out on News of the World hacking scandal

Two young women in Middlesbrough are furious today. Takwana Smith and her 'bezzy mate' Anitakapita Jones have only just heard about the News of the World hacking scandal.

"Cheeky buggers," began Takwana, "if A find ou' tha' they've 'acked into my bleeding phone I'll 'ave 'em. A say lots of private things on me mobile, to our lad and to Anitakapita don't A?"

"Yeah she does," agreed Anitakapita, " an' that bleeding
red'ead's saying she knew nowt about i'. Lying bugger. She musta o' known or she's bleeding thicker than an elephant's 'ind leg. A bet she's no' even a real red'ead. Bet she's a blonde.

She's gone and le' lots o' people ge' 'ert she 'as, a lo' o' people she 'as, an' now she's tryin' to wriggle owt of i' innit?"

Takwana commented,

"What's an 'ind leg Anitakapita?"

"You thick or wo'? It's 'is BACK leg innit? Didn't they lern you owt at school."

"So-o-o-o-ry fer breathin'. Well anyway, those writers 'oo write for the paper need lockin' up an' I 'ope they ge' what's comin' to 'em an' more."

The two young women are keeping their fingers crossed that their mobiles WEREN'T hacked into.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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