Zeitoun, Egypt-- The Virgin Mary has made a triumphant return to the rooftop of a Coptic Christian church just outside Cairo. The Virgin visited the same church rooftop during the 1960's, where many videos and photos were taken of her performance. Last night she returned--smoking a joint and advising all her loyal believers to smoke weed.
The Virgin Mary appeared in a blaze of white and blue light in front of the crowd. She hovered on the edge of the church rooftop, and seemed to dance back and forth to some inner music. The atmosphere around the church became heavy with the scent of roses, and marijuana.
Suddenly, the Virgin reached into her blue robe and pulled out a joint. She put it in her mouth and lit it up, right in front of the shocked crowd.
A halo of seven doves then appeared around the Virgin's head. The doves were carrying joints, and they flew into the crowd, dropping their cargo.
"Smoke weed! PRAY! Smoke weed and pray to my Son, my beloved children!" shouted the Virgin Mary from the rooftop. "Smoke weed and pray, for the End Times are near!" she cried, before disappearing in a burst of white light, and gray smoke.
Pope Benedict XVI heard about the Virgin's return, and sent his well-wishes to the Coptic Christian Church. His Holiness was so impressed with the visit, he smoked a joint himself. He then sat down to re-write a famous Roman Catholic prayer in the Virgin's honor:
Full of weed
Your bong is with thee
Stoned art thou, amongst women
and blessed is the weed of your garden, ganja
mother of weed
smoke with us stoners
now, and at the hour our stash runs out