A South Boston man's right hand had simply had it with trying to choke a chicken that, not only had not neck, but lacked a head worth squeezing.
"I can't believe it!" Exclaimed a shocked Jerry Little from South Boston. "This was my best friend! As a matter of fact, he was my only friend!"
"How could leave me this way? I mean all the good times we had together. I feel so empty now".
"Geez, now what am I going to do. My left hand won't even talk to me, more or less, grasp the situation at hand".
"Man, Saturday nights are going to be really, really lonely now. Not that they weren't lonely enough, already".
In a press release, Little's right hand said that: "I'm tired of playing in the minor leagues. I want to experience the big leagues. I know that I can handle a big bat. Hell, I've had it with the little fuck".
"Geez, it just gets old constantly digging around for gold and finding dirt. Hell, I'm going to New York City and hooking up with Anthony Weiner. I mean, with a name like Weiner, how could you possibly go wrong?"
Unfortunately, Little's right hand found out the hard way, just like Jon Voigt in the movie Midnight Cowboy, that instead of choking the big chicken, the big chicken ended up gagging him.