Written by Aspartame Boy
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Sunday, 5 June 2011

image for "Why we must learn to love humans" speech nabbed at Bilderberger convention It's time!

Bilderbergerville, Switzerland - A maid at the convention here has purloined a copy of one of the addresses at the convention. According to our source, the maid, she made her own copy of this and is willing to risk publication.

The text follows:

June is the thick of the wedding season. Maybe also the time that we feel a sneaking admiration for, say, the evicted, and their tenacious powers of survival. It is a good time, then, to ask why we demonize humans-and why they are there in the first place.

The best-known and simplest definition of a human is "an animal in the wrong place," that is, an animal living where you would prefer other animals, such as bald eagles, to live, or sometimes no animals at all, like at Fukushima.

But it's a coarse definition and raises the question of what is the "right place" for an animal. It would be hard to imagine a more proper location for humans than a Mal*Wart parking lot, but townspeople call them "bums" when they shop among the more commercially viable, perhaps, because of the human's effortless reproductive powers.

We must remember that humans are to animals as weeds are to plants. They do have some uses, though in our modern world, not so much. What with our technology and global markets..

As we bring in the New World Order, and confine humans to reservations so that important animals can thrive, we need to remember that they once were loved on this planet. Perhaps, we can even retain a bit of that love as we impose our final solution.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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