Written by j.w.
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Saturday, 4 June 2011

image for Scowell finds Culprit My computer under arrest

The press room at Spoof suddenly became silent and a chill wind blew through the office. Lady Godiva put some clothes on as the famous TV ogre Simon Scowell came into the room followed by two policemen.

'You don't have to say anything Judas Witch, but if you do I promise not to laugh' said one of the cops.

'That's not my name' I cried 'this is a case of mistaken identity!'

'Nonsense you've got hack written all over you!'

I had to admit he had something there. 'But we're all hacks here' I cried 'and my name is Just William not Judas Witch.'

'A likely story, Witch. We have some questions to ask you and your computer is being taken into custody.'

Scowell smiled in triumph as I was led away. 'Don't worry Willie' shouted Lady Godiva 'I will expose everything!'

My computer was taken from me and I felt I had lost a friend. The only friend I've ever had. It was cruel.

After the police had examined my computer they realised they had the wrong person. 'This computer is so slow it should go into intensive care' said the special computer cop.

I felt loyalty creeping into my loins. 'It may just be a computer to you' I replied, defiant to the end 'but it is my way into every Bank account and Government secret in the world.'

'A likely story'.

I was free to go.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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