Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 2 June 2011

image for Kirstie Alley, 60, Says That She and Her Boyfriend Shancie Boyd, 21, Are History Kirstie received this pet snake named "Tango" as a gift from her dance partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kirstie Alley, who recently took second place in the 2011 edition of Dancing With The Stars, was spotted at a local Burger Doll Restaurant minus her boy toy Shancie Boyd.

According to Taffeta Kixx of iRumors the 60-year-old Alley, who is now known as "The Dancing Cougar" has ended her relationship with her boyfriend hip hop artist Shancie Boyd who at 21, was young enough to be her son, or actually her grandson.

Alley allegedly got tired of Shancie constantly blowing bubbles with his bubblegum and then popping them while the two were out in public.

She added that it did not matter if they were at a hamburger joint, a pizza parlor, a chicken diner, a Mexican restaurant, or a steakhouse.

Kirstie also pointed out that it was difficult carrying on a conversation with someone who had never heard of the Beatles, hula hoops, the Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet television sit-com, pink lawn flamingos, hippies, silly putty, or President Richard Nixon.

When Kixx asked Miss Alley what she thought about Shancie in the romance department she smiled and replied that he definitely knew where the wienerschnitzel went and all but noted that at times during the actual act of vavavooming she would catch him giggling like a little school girl.

She said that after about the seventh time she finally threw him off of her and asked him what in the hell he was giggling at. She said that he told her that her belly button was tickling his stomach.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: According to Larry King, Kirstie Alley has an 'outy.']

Kirstie also pointed out that on three different occasions she noticed that Shancie had somehow ended up with some M&Ms in his underwear.

Alley said that the final straw came a few days ago when she invited him to take a romantic trip with her down to the French Quarter in New Orleans. She said that she could not effen believe it when Shancie asked her if he could bring his mother along.

Kirstie exploded. She told him to get out of her bed, put his Spiderman outfit back on, and get the heck out of her house.

Friday, June 3, is National Doughnut Day. Kirstie says that she plans to observe it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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