Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 27 May 2011

image for Russell Brand and Piers Morgan Side With Cheryl Cole And Attack Simon Cowell For Firing Her From X-Factor Part of the $16 million that Cheryl Cole was to have been paid for being a judge on X-Factor.

LOS ANGELES - In what many media critics are hailing as The modern day reality show version of The Battle of Britain fought on American soil Englishmen Russell Brand and Piers Morgan have both come to the aid of their fellow countrywoman Cheryl Cole.

Cole had been all set to be one of the three judges on Simon Cowell's new American version of the British hit show, X-Factor when suddenly she was dropped.

Chezza, as she is known, informed Bedroom Pillow Talk's Summersetter Faxx, that Simon Cowell, who is known as "The Sultan of Sarcasm" did not even have the 'nads to inform her himself.

He instead told an assistant, who told a hair stylist, who then informed a cue card holder, who then made the show's announcer Ted Williams actually sit down and let Cheryl Cole know that she was being booted off the show like a soccer ball.

Cole told Miss Faxx that when she told her boyfriend Derek Hough of Dancing With The Stars that he actually thought that it was just one of her practical jokes that she is forever playing on him like the time she took a blue Sharpie pen and wrote on her bikini line, "No one allowed beyond this point."

Derek reportedly called up Cowell. He could not reach him so he called up noted Tinsel Town Internet blogger Perez Hilton, who reportedly is a good friend of Simon's.

Perez, giggled and wiggled and replied that he had no idea where 'silly simple Simon' as he calls him was.

A call to exercise guru Richard Simmons also did not result in any luck.

Hough then called up his sister Julianne's boyfriend, American Idol host Ryan Seacrest but he apparently had flown down with Julianne to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and was not answering his phone.

Derek did manage to get a hold of his good friend Russell Brand. Brand said that he was shocked to hear that Chezza had been axed the way she was.

He told Hough that he and Katy (his wife) were going to invite her to travel over to St Bart's in the French West Indies and help her ease some of the pain. Hough asked if they intended on inviting him as well, seeing as how he was the one shares her bed and all.

Brand giggled and simply said no. He then hit Derek on the arm and told him that of course he was invited to come along.

Russell did let Derek know that he had talked to Piers (Morgan) and that Morgan had said that he could not believe how Simon could stab sweet Cheryl in the back like that.

Morgan said that he was so upset with his friend Simon that he has cancelled an appearance that Cowell was to have made on his cable show Piers Morgan Tonight which had been scheduled for Tuesday, June 14, National Pop Goes The Weasel Day.

Since the firing Cheryl has received emails, texts, and phone calls from such well known British friends as Cat Deely, the host of So You Think You Can Dance; Sharon Osbourne, one of the judges on America's Got Talent; and Ophelia Oglesby-Hamshire, a native of Ipswich, England, who now resides in Hackensack, New Jersey, and who owns the number one crumpet importing franchise in the entire Northern Hemisphere.

Bedroom Pillow Talk has noted that Cheryl Cole signed a contract which was to pay her $16 million for one season of X-Factor. She has now attained the legal services of the noted Left Coast law firm of Chatterbrick, Paxonfree, & Zipheimer.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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