Deodorant sales soar and soap sales plummet as many people cut down on washing their body to combat rising fuel costs. Bathing is now a definite no-no and occasional showering is the in thing. Exfoliation is a completely natural process that needs no assistance from either soap or water.
Millions of cash strapped brits are turning to metered water supplies in an effort to cut their consumption and save more of their precious income. However there is a downside to this behaviour because owners of the water companies will soon see their luxurious lifestyles suffer when revenues fall drastically.
It's estimated that the average household can halve the cost of water by metering and the more eccentric can cut the cost by three-quarters or more by filling the loo from the garden water butt or using water from the weekly machine wash to flush the crap away. Make your motto--- three craps per flush in the summer and four in the winter when the temperatures are lower. Some enterprising persons even pay discrete nocturnal visits to the compost heap at the bottom of the garden and why not.
What's wrong with being a little sweaty on the odd occasion when it's only the natural process of decaying bacteria emitting odour. And don't forget ladies that fannies are self cleaning, according to one well known TV doctor and his name is not Rosemary of the morning couch.