Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 24 May 2011

WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin was sitting out on the front deck of her Lake Lucille home Casa Moscow.

She was asked by GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle how things were going between her and her eldest daughter Bristol.

Palin shook her head and remarked that she had not spoken to Bristy in a few weeks ever since Bristol had told her mother that she did not want her to move in with her.

Sarah said that although she was hurt she understood that Bristy wanted her privacy and now that her ex-boyfriend Dancing With The Stars Mark Ballas was involved with American Idol castoff Pia Toscano Bristy would no doubt be desperate to try and snag some other guy.

Soursuckle noted that the former governor did let him know that she had stressed to Bristol that she better make sure that whatever guy she jumps into bed with that he better be wearing a raincoat.

The euphemism went over Soursuckle's head as he asked "Raincoat?"

Sarah smiled and blushingly pointed down towards his crotch region.

Soursuckle turned as red as Rihanna's hair and said, "Oh, I get it you were making reference to condoms."

The "Polar Princess" as Cindy McCain refers to her, said that she made it very clear to Bristol "The Pistol" that if another guy's "Gun" goes off in her playpen and she gets pregnant again then she is going to raise this out of wedlock baby by herself without the help of her, Todd, Willow, and Piper.

Sarah Palin told GOPicky that she plans on meeting with Republican Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer about the possibility of changing Arizona's state slogan from "The Grand Canyon State" to the more appropriate Tea Bag Party slogan "Tea Baggers Rule!"

Old "Snowflake" Palin was asked by Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors what she thought about the Arnold Schwarzenegger family maid scandal.

Palin shook her head, cracked her knuckles, and said that it's big old gosh darn moose in heat like Mr. Schwarzenegger who cannot seem to keep their trouser trout in their pants that give all GOP men a bad rap.

She went on to say that if it was Todd who had vavavoomed with their maid she would have gone to her gun cabinet, taken out her high-powered telescopic rifle, and told Todd that she was going to count to 3 and then she was going to shoot his fishing rod right off of his loins region.

In other news. The talks about Brazil and Bolivia merging together and forming a new country named Bolibra have ended when both countries could not agree on the new flag colors.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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