Written by King David
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Friday, 29 December 2006

image for New Series, "Wives of the Satirists" To Air on the BBC Portrait of "Queen Udder," one of the wives of the satirists

In the same tradition of Alistair Cooke's, Master-baiters Theater comes a new tradition, "Wives of the Satirists" to air this Sunday night on the BBC (Blue Balls for Cornelius). Wives featured on the new series, "Wives of the Satirists" will be the neglected wife of Duff, Mark Foley a.k.a. Lola boyfriend of the President, Queen Udder and Connie Booth.

In a preview of the opening scene in the first episode, we see Queen Udder on the royal bed on her back doing an exercise that looks like a fish flopping around on a dock. Above her a full-length mirror is mounted on the ceiling. In walks the Queen (posing as the King).

King: "I thought you stopped doing those things after Merlin told you, you might slip a disk."

Queen: "I did but a local Pharisee told me I had to keep going. It's just a little weekly indulgence to test the pelvic hamstrings. That's all. No worries."

King: "Your weekly indulgences are killing me! First, it was the trip to Burberry's down Puddling Club Lane, then it was the affair with President Bush, or 'Bushie' I should say, and now you want to flop around on the royal bed like a fish! This is nonsense! I'll have none of it!"

Queen: "Oh King, your temper, dear. You don't want any of the subjects to think we are unhappy. Do you?"

King: "I don't care about appearances anymore! As far as I'm concerned, decorum is hogwash!"

Queen: "Come now, dear, take my hand. Let's turn-on the eunuch and watch him get frustrated." She gets up and walks over to the corner of the bedroom where a eunuch stands on a dresser (where a TV, 600 years later, might be).

King: "No! Don't touch the eunuch! I want to save him for myself."

Queen: "Oh, getting a little possessive are we?"

Suddenly, a knock is heard on the bedroom door. "Room service" a voice calls out.

King: "I'll get it." He walks to the door and opens it, in walks a waiter balancing a tray in his right hand. Unfolding a stand with his left hand, he puts the tray down on top of it, then, uncovers the dish. It is a lone, Jalapeño pepper.

Waiter: (in a heavy French, accent) "Your dinner masseurs." Bows and backs out of the bedroom.

King: (upset to Queen) "I didn't order this, did you?"

Queen: (looking at the King blankly) "No, I didn't either."

Both look over at the eunuch, it smiles, covers itself abashedly.

End of scene.

Join us again this Sunday night for a full episode of "Wives of the Satirists."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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