The Queen expressed deep sympathy for the Irish people in her state banquet speech at Dublin Castle last night.
The monarch was full of emotion as she spoke of her sorrow :
I deeply sympathise with the Irish people in having to wear green everything - green ties, green jackets, even green underpants - it really is one of the most tiresome shades for one to have as one's national colour.
Also, I feel very sorry for the fact that both halves of the country has a crap football league and the few half decent players there inevitably gravitate to England in the search of fame and fortune.
It must be jolly annoying for them.
And, as for River Dance, get out of here.