HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Cheryl Cole was sitting in the Double H mansion, Casa Cha Cha Cha that she shares with her future-husband Derek Hough, of Dancing With The Stars.
She had read in The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette about Pippa Middleton getting dumped by her porn star boyfriend Ron Jeremy and the fact that she was extremely heartbroken.
"Chezza" as her family and close friends call her, told Derek that she felt sorry for Pippa. She said that Ron Jeremy goes through women like salt goes through a salt shaker.
Derek right away suggested that the three of them should perhaps go down and spend some time at The Pancho Villa Resort Villa down in Cabo San Lucas and spend some time frolicking in the sand and sun and helping Pippa get over Mr. Jeremy.
Cole smiled and expressed how much she loved him. She remarked that not only is he good looking, a great dancer, a fabulous lover, and a guy who knows more Sarah Palin jokes that just about anybody in Hollywood, but he also has a heart.
Derek blushed and told her that he also is not a bad singer, a pastry chef, or a Pictionary player either.
Cheryl added that he is also the brother of Julianne Hough who is the girlfriend of the host of American Idol Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest and that is one heck of a networking system.
Derek shook his head and told Cheryl that they actually have three shows pretty well sewed up, Dancing With The Stars, American Idol, and The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
Chezza asked him what their connection to The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania was.
Derek grinned a little, took a bite of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich and said that he still has three of the five housewives, Giddy Breedlove, the pole dancer; Tapioca Mantelleta, the TV anchor woman; and Ribby Updyke, the lesbian pedicurist as his Facebook Friends.
Cole blinked her eyes. Swallowed hard. And replied, "Alrighty then."
Derek Hough turned 26, on May 17, which is also the birthday of NBA star Tony Parker (29), Princess Maxima of The Netherlands (40), and former boxing champion Sugar Ray Leonard (56).