Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 16 May 2011

image for The CEO of The NBA Phoenix Suns Rick Welts Comes Out of The Closet - Denies He Wants To Rename The Team The Huns The CEO of the Phoenix Suns says he does not think that the fact he is gay will hurt the sales of autographed team balls.

PHOENIX - The land of Governor Jan "The Man" Brewer and Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio is now also the land of Rick "The Gay CEO" Welts.

Welts recently met with NBA Commissioner David Stern at a Starbucks and told him about his sexual orientation.

Stern, sternly asked if he was sure. Welts replied that he was as sure as he could possibly be sure and not be deemed to be unsure.

Stern shook his head and replied that he had no idea that gayness was such a confusing thing. Welts told him that it wasn't and he mentioned to Stern that he was stirring his Cinnamon Dolce Créme Frappuccino with his right middle finger.

The commissioner stated that he has a pretty good undercover network and that none of the NBA investigators had mentioned to him that he was gay.

Welts giggled and told him that it was probably because none of the investigators are allowed into his bedroom.

He went on tell Stern that he really needs to realize that 10 percent of all people are gay so that means that for example if there are 430 NBA players a total of 43 could possibly be gay.

Stern told him that the 10 percent only pertains to normal, average, common people like teachers, sales clerks, cab drivers, and farmers.

Welts wanted it known that the Phoenix Suns team name will remain the same and that he will not be changing it to the Huns as rumors which reportedly started in Wisconsin had erroneously stated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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