Written by Lady Godiva
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Saturday, 7 May 2011

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10 things you need to know about the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's home:


1. No dogs are allowed inside (with the exception of Camilla if she phones first)

2. No staff (Will and Kate will do the cooking and cleaning themselves, even keep the gardens nice coz they want to save the country some money.)

3. They have a hand made quilt on the kitchen floor, sent as a wedding gift from some Subo fanatics.

4. There are no photos of the Royal Family on any of the walls.

5. Paintings which ARE hung include 'Kathy Bates in the Nude' and one of 'Bart Simpson'.

6. No smoking is allowed inside the house, unless it is the illegal stuff.

7. The Postman Only Knocks Once

8. There is a Cuckoo's nest in the eaves.

9. There is a red light forever glowing over the front door.

10. They NEVER lock the doors because they trust people implicitly.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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