Written by Melissa Nott
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Saturday, 30 April 2011

image for Disgruntled Chicken Faces Uncertain Future on Michigan Farm chicken

An unhappy chicken on Jackson Farm in Crump, MI, has gone on an egg-laying strike to protest the quality of her evening feed, according to U.S. agricultural officials.

Twinkie, a red speckled hen who has produced over 300 eggs for local consumption in the past year, is dissatisfied with the new, cost-efficient feed formula recently introduced by Farmer Tom Jackson. The formula, which includes more barley filler and less corn, will save Jackson approximately fifty dollars a year in animal food costs.

"In these tough times, you gotta slice corners," said Jackson. "Fifty bucks is fifty bucks. Twinkie will deal with it and lay me some eggs, or she'll face the consequences."

A chicken-scratched letter demanding that Jackson "Buy two bags of corn!" was discovered on the floor of his family car several days ago, officials reported.

"She didn't sign her name, but I know that note was wrote by Twinkie," Jackson commented on the authorship of the anonymous letter. The note also mentions "frozen broccoli", "skim milk", "Q-Tips", "bacon", and "Vicks", for no apparent reason.

When asked what the cryptic message could mean, Jackson responded, "I got no clue. Twinkie probably thought making a crazy list of grocery items would help get her point across. What can I say? She's a bird brain."

Jackson conceded that, due to her rebellious behavior, Twinkie's future role at the farm is uncertain. "Egg layer? Pan fryer? That's up to Twinkie. All I know is, we got no room for no spiteful chickens here Jackson Farm."

Spiteful chickens, Jackson added, taste awesome when roasted on the grill with a little garlic, rosemary, and freshly-ground pepper. "Mad chickens cook up better than happy chickens. Don't ask me why. I got no clue."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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