Written by Honey West
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Friday, 29 April 2011

image for Cruise, Travolta To Buy Roman Coliseum The Coliseum will look like this after a makeover

Rome, Italy - Two of the biggest names in Hollywood are purchasing the famous Roman Coliseum. Tom Cruise and John Travolta stumbled across the building purely by accident while vacationing with their families.

Cruise says, "At first, we didn't know what the heck it was. I just thought it was a big, rundown place. A fixer upper. It looks like a lot of the tear downs in Beverly Hills."

The two men walked around trying to find out if anyone was at home, but couldn't find a front door, doorbell or any other way to get in, except that the entire side of the building was crumbling, so they just walked in.

Katie Cruise particularly liked what she called "the big round open floor plan. It's perfect for the entertaining and parties I give!"

After discussing the purchase, they decided it would make a great McMansion in addition to their seven other McMansions.

The realtor Sylvina Bruschetta, says that "even though the building needs a lot of repairs, it has good bones. Some people might say it is in ruins, but most fixers such as the Coliseum need work. Mama Mia, nothing's perfect!"

Travolta feels a special tie to the building, being a guido himself. "When we get it painted, hardwood floors, pool, big screen t.v., it'll be the nicest place in the neighborhood. Right now, it's an eyesore, just a big ruin. El Dumpo. But we'll change that. Plus I'll be able to park my jet in the living room!"

When not at the Coliseum, the two actors plan to rent it to Scientologists who will use it as a giant space pod vibrational L. Ron Hubbard communication and mental reorganization device.

The purchase price was not disclosed, because Scientologists do not discuss such silly, secret things. However, it will be an all cash deal.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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