Becoming much more than the political chameleon that changes from liberal activist to fascist mother-fucker in the blink of an eye, President Obama appears to have gone under the knife to bring himself permanently closer to the corporate crooks that now control the United States Government.
In a revealing interview on the Oprah Show, Obama reacted with surprise that anyone should question his odd transformation.
"I equivocally deny I had plastic surgery to make me look white. I love being black. In fact, I'm the only black man on the East Coast that can get a taxi 24/7. This is the result of a skin disease that makes your skin turn white, pinches up your nose and makes your eyebrows fall out. Lucky for me Michelle has some eyebrow pencil I could use to spiff up my forehead. Let me show you."
He pulled a talcum-covered hand mirror and a stubby eyebrow pencil from his man-purse and filled in a few gaps in his highly unnatural eyebrows.
Oprah asked, "Now really, Barry-I been in this business a long time and I can tell you we seen something like this before. In fact, you look like Diana Ross after she fell in a flour sack. What about it audience? Ain't that right?" The audience roared in agreement.
Now look, answered the pasty President, "I have not changed a bit. Our agenda remains the same: Launder taxpayer money by giving it to big business through loose tax laws, low regulations or hand-outs so they can turn around and give it to my political campaign. If people don't like it-they can always run for president themselves. It is still a free country the last time I looked, 10 or 12 years ago." Oprah, keeping in mind her corporate sponsors and friends, ignored this blinding shaft of truth shining into her broad kind face. "That's all we have time for today, everyone. See you tomorrow when we uncover the truth about a three-legged child molester."
Scientists have explained that it could be a simple mind over matter transition similar to evolution where an animal changes his spots to keep from being eaten by its enemies.