Written by Petit Porc
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Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Earthly life can have its benefits: cornflakes 'n' dried seaweed for breakfast, some hot desert worms for lunch and fillet of rattlesnake for supper, all washed down with the finest New Mexico tequila.

Russ has been living this luxury life for the last sixty odd years, ever since his parent's weekend trip turned to disaster: it only took one false maneuver somewhere past Saturn to send their ship on a collision course to the third planet from the Sun.

There are worse places to crash than New Mexico, but then again...Russ was the only one to survive the landing at Roswell and was taken under the wing of one J. Edgar Hoover, a then young army officer.

Russ has been an undercover FBI and CIA agent for the last forty years and has successfully advised many a US President on such diverse items as starting the Vietnam War and the First Lady's wardrobe. He is also a big proponent of scaling down radically the science and space budget of the United States.

Now Russ is ready to show his hideous features to the world for the first time ever: it is rumored that he will make his appearance at William and Kate's forthcoming marriage in London later on this month.

Chances are he won't even be noticed among the crowd anyway.

No special meals have been reserved as such for any of the guests. It remains to be seen if indeed he will be coming out.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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