New York - Wearing an 80 pound back pack and carrying an M16, Dr. Henry Kissinger was last seen boarding a military transport bound for the staging area (classified location) for the Libya invasion.
Just prior to departing, Dr. Kissinger, panting from the exertion at his advanced age, held a brief press conference on the tarmac.
His statement is given below.
For years we have tried diplomacy. I got so many miles on my account I can fly first class for free anytime I want to. But let me tell you something. I'm going baggage class on this flight, along with the G.I.s on this plane because diplomacy just doesn't work. Even my sonorous tones, my deep croaking voice, is not enough for these guys.
So hey, I'm going to lead a squad. The President has graciously consented to give me a commission in the US Army, and I'm going to kick some butt.