In an interview with Katie Couric, on Wednesday, Donald Trump once again stunned the audience with the statement that, "Jesus was born in Weirton, West Virginia and not in Bethlehem!"
The interview was immediately picked up by all major news media, cable television, and the photosphere. Here is the interview in part:
Couric: "But Mr. Trump, this just isn't true!"
Trump replied: "Excuse me. I have investigated this subject. I pay people to do this. He was born in Weirton, West Virginia at a Motel 6, and not at the Marriot as they would have you believe."
Couric: "It was a manger and this country wasn't even in existence then!"
Trump: "Scuse me! My research has proven his father was Joe, the Plumber, not Joseph the carpenter, and he was on his way to Bethlehem, Pa to procure a no-bid contract from the government."
Couric: "This is crazy!"
Trump interrupted: "Scuse me! I pay a lot of money for these investigations," he paused, "and I pay a good bonus if the information comes back the way I want it to!"
Couric: "Mr. Trump, this is going to make you the laughing stock of the country!"
Trump: "Scuse me! Been there, done that and I didn't get this rich by being stupid!"
Trump: "Scuse me! And one more thing, Jesus was NOT a Jew like they say. He was as much a WASP as I am,"
Trump: "Scuse me! And that Sermon on the Mount thingy was just a PR stunt. NO real player would ever say such things. Blessed are the meek? Hello!"
Couric: "Mr. Trump, you just couldn't believe the things you are saying. I mean,---"
Trump: "Scuse me! I don't need some little tramp telling me," he paused, jumped up and stormed off the studio set. As he did do, his hairpiece fell off, he grabbed it and ran to his waiting limousine.
In related news, Ms. Couric has told colleagues that as Trump bent over to pick up his hair, she could see plainly stenciled on the top of his head----"This Side Up."