Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 20 April 2011

image for Jesse James and Fiancee Kat Von D Reveal Their "X-Rated" Tongue Tattoos On The Oprah Winfrey Show Kat Von D in the process of getting her 97th tattoo.

CHICAGO - Jesse James and his much tattooed girlfriend Kat Von D recently appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show where they each revealed about 40 percent of their tattoos.

The inked couple who say that they love tattoos because it makes them feel superior to non-tattooed people told Ms. Winfrey that there is no reason for anyone these days not to have a tattoo as they have become very affordable due to the fact that there are tattoo parlors on just about every block.

James said that his ex-wife Sandra "The Kissing Bandit" Bullock hated his tattoos and told him that he looked like a cheap carnival sideshow worker.

He told Bullock that she looked like a cheap carnival goer. Kat Von D yelled out "Good one Jess!" and gave him a high-five, a fist bump, and a chest bump as well.

He grabbed her and gave her a big old French kiss. Oprah screamed out for them to stop that shit since this was a family show.

Miss O then turned to her viewing audience, looked into the camera, and apologized for having used the dreaded "S" word.

She then asked Jesse about their X-rated tongue tattoos. He laughed and said that he and Kat had got them done down in Cabo San Lucas over the Valentine's Day holiday.

Oprah said that out of curiosity she wanted to see them but that she would not allow the cameraman to film it. She first looked at Jesse's tongue tattoo and nearly fainted.

She then looked inside Kat's mouth at her tattoo and did faint. Luckily for her Jesse just happened to have a packet of smelling salt and he brought her too right away.

Winfrey said that in all of her years she had never seen anything quite as vulgar, nasty, and as totally nauseating as what she had just seen.

Kat looked at her and in a somewhat sarcastic voice told the talk show queen that she should see Jesse's pecker.

Oprah had, had enough. She asked the two to please leave her set.

Jesse and Kat got up and started walking off the set, but after taking about three steps Kat paused, took down her Daisy Duke shorts, and mooned the audience with her tattoo covered butt.

Winfrey quickly went to a commercial.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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