Written by Inhopeless
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 16 April 2011

To cut a long story short - On the Wright Stuff (I was bored, Okay?) people were arguing that videogames were the cause of all violence.

"85% of all games contain an element of violence."

Isn't eating marshmallows and digesting ghosts a little violent?

If so, shouldn't crime be through the roof?

"It doesn't matter what these psychologists say, these videogames have caused drive-by shootings."

Wait a mo? Aren't psychologists.... never mind. Also, didn't drive-by shooting occur when we were still on horses? Of course, that means that my education at school is totally rubbish then.

Violent crime has been falling since the 90s. Doom, a highly successful shoot-em-up game, was released in the late 90s.

You know how you used to play-fight? Pretend you were knights or warriors? You know how you knew that you were still children, and not murders? So... how is that the same?

Yeah, maybe the graphics give a detailed environment, but isn't the imagination of a 10-year old the best graphics card ever?

Or maybe... get this: you suck at bringing up your kids? If your child is a homicidal maniac, there's either something wrong with you, or the kid.

No wait, I think these people are right!

Hitler got all his ideas from Command and Conquer!

Gadhaffi played Manhunt! It all makes sense!

Not.

I've played many a violent video game, myself. But today, I don't want to go out and kill a stranger.

I think these are the same people who wanted to ban the MMR jab because of an extremely non-existent link between autism and taking it.

What about all the nudity and the revealing clothing on TV? Why not ban that? Surely that is hurting our children?

Hang on... isn't there two highly successful industries based around sexualisation? (The world's oldest profession, and clothing)

Morons.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

53 readers are online right now!

Go to top