Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Tags: 10 Things

Monday, 11 April 2011

image for Top 10 Reasons We Should Drill Numb Nuts Drill Drill Numb Nuts

1. If you don't care how much it costs to fill up your tank, you are probably blond, rich or a tree hugger. If so, go on to next point.

2. If it doesn't bother you that the rag heads are laughing at us for not drilling, go to next point.

3. If you are concerned that a random Alaskan caribou has to detour a few miles to breed, your love life must suck. Please go to next point.

4. If it bothers you to see oil platforms off Santa Barbara, but doesn't bother you to pork up $75 to fill up your tank, I will gladly allow you to fill up my tank too.

5. If you believe that alternative energy sources will cut our reliance on importing oil in the next few years, try driving down the freeway with a windmill on your car hood, just in case we run out of oil.

6. California has more cars than any other state, or for that matter, most countries. Don't you think that we owe it to the rest of world to produce enough to take care of ourselves? Just in case you haven't noticed, God takes care of those who help themselves and allows for the rest to survive the best they can.

7. What do you think the rag heads in Saudi Arabia are doing with the $110 we send them for each barrel of oil? Hint.....Have you ever heard of the Twin Towers? Most of the 9/11 terrorists were trained and equipped with your money.

8. Now that Libya isn't shipping oil, have you noticed your gas prices going sky high? Do you think it wise to rely on the Middle East for most of our oil supply? Have you ever played the game of Monopoly? Do you get my drift?

9. California is in debt over 20 billion dollars. Do you understand that instead of firing teachers to balance the budget, we could be getting tax revenue from off-shore oil production? Beside that, thousands of jobs would be produced.

10. Finally, if you are so concerned about seeing oil platforms on the horizon, don't worry. When China owns California, you can preach to the head of the Chinese Communist Party and see if he gives a shit.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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