Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 8 April 2011

image for Taylor Lautner Denies Making 'Profanity Laced' Remarks About Amy Winehouse Lily Collins' pet Blue Tit bird was given to her by Len Goodman. (Photo courtesy of Bruno Tonioli).

SANTA MONICA BEACH - Taylor Lautner, one of the stars of the Twilight series, and his girlfriend Lily Collins were enjoying themselves down at Santa Monica Beach.

The two wore red, white, and blue swimsuits that the very talented Lily Collins, daughter of music icon Phil Collins had personally sewn herself.

A crowd had gathered around them and the happy couple gladly allowed them to take all the photos they wanted. Lautner and Collins had recently starred in the film Abduction.

Previous to that Collins had been pretty busy as she had filmed the motion picture 90210 and the two sequels 90211 and 90212.

Taylor and Lily were approached by iGossip's Taffeta Kixx. She asked Taylor that of the three girls that he had dated previous to hooking up with Lily, which included Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, and Kathy Griffin, which was the one he missed the most.

Lautner blushed and replied that he did not miss any one of them at all. He looked at Lily who yelled out "Good answer dude!"

Kixx then turned to Lily and asked her that of the last three guys she had dated, which included Harrison Chad, Boo Boo Stewart, and Justin Bieber, which one she missed the most.

She paused for a second and then answered that she missed Boo Boo Stewart the most. Taylor perked up and asked "What?"

At that point Lily laughed and said that she was just pulling his leg. She then revealed that Harrison was always making vulgar jokes about Rosie O'Donnell.

She quipped that Boo Boo was always telling her knock-knock jokes non-stop and that at times he would repeat the same ones three and five times a day.

She then raised her eyebrows as Taylor applied some suntan lotion to the back of her legs and she said that Justin Bieber was a really great guy except for the fact that he would ask her every three minutes if his hair was in place.

Lily chuckled as she stated that if there was even one hair out of place they would both stop what they were doing and she would have to take out his favorite hair brush, which he kept in her purse, and comb it.

Taffeta then mentioned to Taylor that she had read in a supermarket tabloid that he had recently made a remark laced with profanity directed toward Amy Winehouse.

He laughed and told her that the remark was taken way out of context and that what it actually was, was that he and Lily had attended a Winehouse concert at The Mescalero Apache Warpaint Auditorium in Albuquerque, New Mexico and after the concert Winehouse had invited him and Lily backstage to chat.

While in her dressing room Winehouse had commented about how much she hated the way Chris Brown had lost his temper and destroyed his dressing room when he appeared recently on Good Morning America.

Lautner responded in the same exact manner but only about 40 decibels louder. Just as he was yelling in front of Winehouse, an auditorium security guard happened to walk by and must have assumed that Taylor was actually yelling at Winehouse.

The next day the supermarket tabloid 'Just Saying' printed that the security guard had stated that he heard Taylor Lautner hollering out remarks laced with profanity towards Ms. Winehouse and that he thinks that he may have even threatened her with an unopened bag of family-sized marshmallows.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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