Written by dallaspierce
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 6 December 2006

I thought it would last forever. What's more, I loved her. As they say in my neighborhood: How was I supposed to know the hooch was gon' all up and trip on my ass and dis me on the Internet - MySpace? - Hell, it ain't got nothing to do with you; it's got to do with these websters all over the net talkin' trash about everybody. And that's why I let some friends post our tape on their website, to get back at her. Or, maybe to get her back, I don't even know anymore.

Now everyone's accusing me of being a skeev by posting the tape on the web; "Exploiting" our relationship for spite or money, but they don't know me, and they sure don't know the whole story. We were alone, except for the guy holding the camera. No one knows how we met or fell in love. And, you can't tell that just by looking at some video, so don't rush to judgment.

Love is complex; you say a lot of cool things, some click and some don't. You lay down scratch, never knowing if it's going to pay off or not. Closing time sometimes catches you empty handed. You got nothing, so you've got to be flexible. Other nights, you're live, and it all goes down your way. You got some hot number and she's good to go. Hit the door, even open it for her, and 'bang' you see some hot wheels you never even saw when you were in the club. It's love at first sight! You peel her friends off her and take her to an after-party and 'bingo' - a job well done.

You like her, so you tell her you don't mind her hanging around you. You drop some rules on her, like you don't like chicks popping in on you; you don't always answer your cell phone, and you like to stay loose (a good general warning to cover all bases). They complain, but if they really love you they go for it.

The next thing you know, she's all up in your face because you didn't return her call. But, hey, you laid down the rules. You should be pissed at her for blowing the damn thing up on you. What did she think she was doing, calling you so many times in a row? Did she forget that you could tell this information from looking into your phone, that you investigated it? How were you to know that she was going to call you from one of her girlfriends, and that you were only trying to be friendly to her when you were talking to her? And, who pays attention to the order you return calls in?

Now I'm dealing with the pain of betrayal. What's more, people don't understand the reason I put our lovemaking tape out there. They're getting it all wrong, it's her who hurt me. No one should hurt someone and expect to get away with it. Maybe I should have just gone on Dr. Phil or Montel like my homies advised. Either way, I found out the hard way - you can't just post your sex tape and hope that it does your talking for you.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

63 readers are online right now!

Go to top