Written by Jean Le Fete
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Sunday, 27 March 2011

image for Spoof Super Heroes Chapter 5: Return of the Black Squirrel The Black Squirrel

It wasn't everyday they saw a pirate ship on the Thames, thought Jean Le Fete as he guided the Black Squirrel through yet another bridge. Jesus he thought, I'll bet Buddha didn't have to go through this crap.

"Depp! Where the bloody hell is Richards at?" yelled Jean, "We need a guitar solo so we can use the cloaking device, damn near to London now. Look sharp everyone, this isn't a bloody movie set!"

"Bloody 'ell Keith, get your ass on deck already," screamed Johnny.

Keith appeared out of staff quarters, "Sorry Cap, had to restring, tis not everyday I gets to play for the Queen."

"Look lively Keith, according to George the bloody Tombies are on the move, there may not be a Queen to play for, let alone the little Pips stinking wedding celebration. All hands! Prepare to cloak the Squirrel!!" commanded Jean, "God save the Welsh!"

***

It went unnoticed by the crew of The Black Squirrel, a passenger jet did a sharp 360 degree turn from its route to Paris and headed towards Manhattan.

***

Long ago a lad of 17 took sailing dinghy with provisions, or so he thought, to circumnavigate the globe. Through a small miracle he made it to Panama and through the canal. Then came the doldrums and 5 excruciating weeks with no wind or fresh water. He survived on two things, hope and a large anchove fruit cake baked by his grandmother.

A storm then blew him north to the coast of California, where he landed near North Hollywood. After making several "B" movies with Dean Martin he was given a role as a pirate, with a real ship. One night he stole the ship with a skeleton crew, from the graveyard shift, and a heading into the darkness...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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