Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 21 March 2011

image for LeAnn Rimes Reveals The "Shocking" Secret To Her Brand New Skinny-As-Hell Look LeAnn Rimes shown without lipstick, mascara, eye shadow, and deodorant.

NASHVILLE - LeAnn Rimes was in town to receive the prestigious Holly F. Dipplequist Honorary Award which is presented annually to the country music female singer who has weathered the most gossip and rumors in the past year.

Rimes was asked by Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine about her recent tremendous weight loss. She simply smiled.

Grilletta Brewburger, with YKYM, asked her again about the fact that she had certainly lost a lot of poundage.

LeAnn again chose to ignore her. Finally a frustrated Brewburger asked her if her extremely noticeable weight loss was due to either anorexia nervosa or bulimia.

Well that certainly got the attention of the little bitty eyed country singer who turned three shades of pink and yelled out that her amazing weight loss was not due to either anorexia nervosa or bulimia.

When asked by Brewburger to explain how she lost her weight so that all of her hundreds of fans would know, Rimes rolled her eyes and told the YKYM reporter that it was all due to her being on the new Bye Bye To Yummy Yum Diet which she stated consists of consuming a total of 45 calories per day.

Rimes said that for the past two years all she has heard is how she is considered to be the biggest husband stealer since Angelina Jolie who stole Brad Pitt away from Jennifer Aniston five years ago.

She said that no one ever mentions the good things that she has done like saving the The Fuchsia Breasted Wayward Woodpeckers of West Virginia by helping to kill off over 3,000 bastard vultures which were the number one predators of The Fuchsia Breasted Wayward Woodpeckers.

Rimes also said that no one ever talks about the fact that she contributed $8,000 of her own money to The Mount Rushmore Presidential Fund which was used to repair Abraham Lincoln's left eyebrow which was badly damaged in a freak hailstorm which hit the Mount Rushmore area on the second of August last summer.

Grilletta Brewburger told Rimes that most people don't give a rat's ass about woodpeckers or presidential eyebrows, but they do frown on a woman stealing the married husband of another woman.

Rimes was so upset that all she could say was "Ahhh, issssh, hmmm."

Grilletta Brewburger Has Written Several Books on Country Music Females Including:

  • Two Bigguns - The Dolly Parton Story
  • Yes, It's True I Did Use To Sew All My Bras And Bloomers So What? - The Life of Loretta Lynn
  • The Reba McEntire Story - I Sho Reckon I Knows I Taint Pretty, But I Knows I Taint Ugly Like That Winehouse Woman Neither

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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