Written by SpoofyDoofy
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Sunday, 20 March 2011

image for High levels of Census Completion Disorder (CCD) are being found all over the United Kingdom! George Orwell Big Government survelliance society is watching your every move!

All over the United Kingdom, the citizens in their droves are experiencing a new phenomenon called Census Completion Disorder (CCD).

CCD is a nervous complaint caused by reading and attempting to fill in the UKs 2011 compulsory Census.

Not withstanding that filling in the Census is against the Data Protection Act, where UK citizens have the right to refuse their data being held on a computer. Plus under the Geneva Convention, all people have to do is give their name rank and number and when the Police arrest you, you have the right to remain silent... However, with the 2011 Census being 'compulsory' with theats of £1,000 fines, no wonder citizens in their hundreds are experiencing Census Completion Disorder (CCD).

Census Completion Disorder (CCD) isn't helped by the knowledge that Lockheed Martin, who aren't mentioned on the document at all, but they won the contract for a few million. The Brit Government are not allowed to pass on info to anyone, but Lockheed Martin USA can give info to their secret services and then give to USA Government and then they sell that back to the British Government Secret Services, so that all can have information.

As Alf from East Hull has said;

"It getting ridiculous anyway, far too probing. I fully expect to be asked what toilet paper I used this time. Good riddance!"

Gary from Cornwall;

"Get rid of it now. It is an intrusion into people's personal life. Anyway give false answers and nobody knows. I am a normal British subject, but for the census will be a disabled, ethnic, awaiting transgender surgery buddhist. It's total crap, apart from the fact that nobody knows how many illegals are here anyway, so the count will be out by hundred's of thousand's."

Ann from the EUSSR;

"QUOTE: .....it also provides a rich resource for historians, academics, charities and religious organisations. Let them fund it, then. It's a shame that a part of living-history is being scrapped, but how much use is it, really? There is no certainty that the people who fill it in are even telling the truth. Someone with a relative living with them illegally is hardly going to state that on the census form! A massive and unjustifiable cost for something with questionable accuracy, and limited use."


All these poor souls, Alf from East Hull, Gary from Cornwall and Ann from the EUSSR are experiencing Census Completion Disorder (CCD). Labour had already spent £300 million on the 2011 Census, and it will now cost £482 million as it has gone ahead.

Census Completion Disorder(CCD) has now cost the United Kingdom £482 million. That's half a billion spent on a powerful database server, a few powerful web servers, some freely available open source content management and database software.

Census Completion Disorder(CCD) is occuring because the UK Citizens are finding out and discovering that the Government chose to award the £150 million contract to manage the census to the UK subsidiary of U.S. arms manufacturer Lockheed Martin.

Lockheed Martin, the giant aerospace company makes cluster bombs, Trident nuclear missiles, F-35 fighter aircraft as well as the Next Generation ID system used by the FBI, which allows fingerprints and biometric data to be rapidly distributed to 18,000 law-enforcement agencies. Lockheed Martin is also obliged to give any information they have to the US Government under US laws. Lockheed Martin makes huge profits out of different ways of killing people, so no wonder Census Completion Disorder(CCD) has become rife in the UK.

Strangely Lockheed Martin has subcontracted the handling of the information UK Citizens provide to a company called UK Data Capture. Its two main shareholders are Edexcel and Vangent. This isn't helping Census Completion Disorder (CCD) sufferers at all.

Edexcel has a poor record of handling data to do with exam results and was even criticised by Tony bLIAR. Again this won't help Census Completion Disorder (CCD) sufferers.

Vangent is the U.S. company whose employees illegally accessed President Obama's student loan details. Census Completion Disorder (CCD) sufferers, will be panicking now!

Add to this the long list of data disasters which have plagued Government Departments, including HM Revenue, Pensions and the NHS, and you can see why handing over personal details is making honest UK Citizens feel anxious and vulnerable, the signs of Census Completion Disorder (CCD).

Hardly a month passes without information being lost by incompetent Civil servants - so even though census information is kept confidential for 100 years, you can expect to discover some has turned up on a memory stick on a train in the Home Counties, making Census Completion Disorder (CCD) sufferers panic even more.

Should you choose to phone the Census helpline you will be informed that if you fail to complete your form fully you, the Census Completion Disorder (CCD) sufferes, may be fined £1000 and be given a criminal record.

This is a public information Service on behalf of Census Completion Disorder (CCD) sufferers"

Here are some example replies for those who suffer from Census Completion Disorder (CCD);

[1] Endorse the Census 2011 questionnaire at the bottom of the cover page with the followng words: 'I do not consent to any and all information provided by me on this questionnaire being passed onto any foreign government or their agencies, directly or indirectly.' Signed the form and added 'British Citizen' in brackets.


[2] Nobody goes by the name of "The Occupier" here, so I will be "responding" (as required) by returning it unopened with "NO CONTRACT. RETURN TO SENDER" written on the front along with a Notice of Conditional Acceptance (as found in the TPUC forum which contains over 60 questions they must answer prior to completion) so they cannot accuse me of refusung to fill it in. Last time over 1.5 million people did not fill out their census forms, and only 38 people (or 0.000253333333%) were fined. Even more people are expected to boycott the census this time due to the data being processed by the war-profiting foreign military weapons manufacturing company - Lockheed Martin. I've heard others wil be spoiling their forms by writing random letters and numbers and claiming the answers have been encrypted for security purposes, rubbing white candle wax over the official boxes, adding lines to the barcodes etc. They say the census is for our benefit, however there are no questions asking what we want.


[3] You should only give your name, rank and number!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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