Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 21 March 2011

image for Spoof Writer Cuts Stratospheric Internet Hit - 'I Need A Dump' Groovin And Ravin On De Bog

Spoof writer, Reddon, AKA Skoob was celebrating this morning as the postman turned up with a wheelbarrow full of cash following the idiot's surprise internet megasmash hit - 'I Need A Dump.'

As he rolled around on the hearthrug throwing fistfuls of cash about the sitting room, Reddon was heard to shout:

"Ohhh yessss! GET IN!"

It transpires that Reddon, AKA Skoob, AKA Martin Shuttlecock, in a thoroughly disgruntled frame of mind elected to pen a little ditty about going to the toilet - and it's making millions from downloads.

"I only did it for a laugh," Reddon chuckled. "It's pretty crap really, but a lot of people seem to think it's cool - either that or they think it's so crap it's mildly amusing. I don't really care either way, as long as the wonga keeps rolling in!"

Reddon went on to explain that his inspiration for the song came the morning after a night on the beer, when he awoke in desperate need of the toilet.

It seems he was sufficiently inspired to pen the following lyric:

"I NEED A DUMP

Time is it?

Yeah yeah right

Me need a shite

How many beer did me have lass night

innit innit innit

Me can't move right now

Me feelin' like a cow

An dat

In me park pie 'at

innit innit innit

Me got the hump

I need a dump

innit innit innit

Man me got ta go

No time for slow

Me shoutin' aht

Dem turtle heads is squeezin' aht

innit innit innit

Gots ta move

Or me butt groove

gonna stain da bed

wife hit me in da head

innit innit innit

Cor love a duck

An wot da fluck...

Innit innit innit

Know what I am sayin' 'ere bro

Me need to go

Me move me arse

It be obvious (arse)

Dat me mess da sheets

Unless me get da groove

An start ta move

Innit innit innit

Ya knaaa wot ah mean...

Me runnin

Not skippin

Me not gay boy batty man ya Knaa?

WHOOSH!

Ahhhh me made it

Innit innit innit

Relief relief

Save me da grief

Dis sense of relief...

Mabel! Where da bog roll?

Pon me poor lost soul...

Dey int no tissue!

Me make it an issue!

Innit innit innit

Yer knaa...

Yer knaa wot me mean...

Innit innit innit."

Which is a really crap lyric for any song.

But the internet certainly has no respect for taste or talent.

A bit like Simon Cowbell really.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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