Female Spoof Writer, Lady G. awoke from her operation earlier today. She had her bunions removed. A year of trying to tippy-toe around some fellow Spoofers had taken its toll on her pretty feet.
She wasn't in any pain when she awoke, which she thought rather strange, considering the pain she'd felt after her boob reduction a few years earlier. Mind you, the nurse HAD forgotten to turn on the morphine drip until she saw the expression on Lady G's face as she came 'around' from the anesthetic.
Lady G. took a handmirror out of her Tesco plastic bag and was surprised to see that she was even more beautiful than she had been before the surgery, and not just her FEET. She was looking p-r-e-t-t-y cool and hip for her advanced years.
Suddenly her cell phone rang. It was her pal Inhopeless asking her how she was feeling and if she had the energy to help him with his French studies as he had an exam the following morning.
Her head buzzed for a few seconds and she found herself answering,
"Don't worry dear...I KNOW you will pass the exam with flying colours and that nasty boy at school, the one making all of those sick jokes, is going to be expelled before the end of tomorrow."
Speechless for a while..Inhopelss spluttered,
"How,how, how the hell do you know THAT..are you 'spoofing me'?"
"Certainly not," answered Lady.G " I have been feeling rather strange since coming around from this latest anesthetic. It would appear I am able to look 24 hours into the future and can read minds of ordinary folk, such as your Headmaster."
"Can you read MY mind LG?"
"No, don't worry, your fantasies are safe with me...I cannot read minds of fellow Spoofers it would seem. I've tried...but nope. Nothing. I don't mean there is NOTHING in their minds, it's just not possible for me to get inside their heads.
This is just as well, otherwise I'd be able to write all of their great stories and publish them a day before they did...and shoot up to the top of the Top Writers Chart in no time."
"Lady G. You have been accepted as a member of the Spooferheroes. This I now see. You must only use your special powers for GOOD.
Now that you've told me I am going to 'pass' my French exam, I won't bother studying...so I'll go and knock off a spoof or two, after I have read the Economist that is.
You take care now. Speedy recovery LG.
Lady G. leaned back on her fluffed up pillows, knowing she would be out of hospital by 12:00p.m. the following day.
She couldn't wait to join the rest of the Spooferheroes and get some excitement back into her life.