Written by grimbo
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Sunday, 20 March 2011

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Troubled Man City striker Mario Balotelli, sent off in the Europa League second leg fixture against Dinamo Kiev, has made a public apology to manager Roberto Mancini .

Although City comfortably beat Kiev 1-0 at Eastlands, they lost 2-1 on aggregate and crashed out of the tournament, putting more pressure on boss Mancini as his side continue to under achieve despite spending hundreds of millions of pounds in the transfer market.

A contrite Balotelli stated :

"I sincerely apologise to everyone connected with Manchester City Football Club for letting them down against Dinamo Kiev.

"I am sorry not only for getting sent off for an unnecessary foul, but also for missing an easy chance from close in when Micah Richards laid it on a plate for me.

"I am also sorry for heading over the bar not long afterwards and then deflecting a David Silva past the post.

"While I am at it, sorry also for getting a red card against West Brom in November and for my general poor attitude and bad performances.

"The latter also pertains to my career with Inter Milan so I also apologise to Jose Mourinho for the disciplinary problems I caused the Special One. Sorry for wearing an AC Milan top on an Italian TV show and for throwing my Inter top on the ground after Barca beat us in the Champions League last April.

"Sorry for not knowing who Jack Wilshere was when I received the Golden Boy award last December.

"I'm also sorry for calling my biological parents "glory hunters" after wanting to see me again after I became famous.

"Finally, I apologise to the Ford Fiesta driver I cut off on Mancunian Way yesterday and for displaying a rude masturbatory sign as I sped off in the distance.......and to the photographer who I banged into as I came into this press conference".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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