Six foot three inch catwalk model and aspiring weather presenter Thinna Zarake went on the record on primetime TV today to condemn the widely-held conviction that eating saturated fat is always bad for your health.
Miss Zarake openly attacked BBC One Show presenters Nick Famous and Alison Shortskirt for their condemnation of the high percentage of saturated fat in the nation's diet.
"You two just haven't a clue, have you" she declared bitchily as she tucked into her second Cornish pastie. "Being fairly normal, quite well-balanced, nearly rich, and slightly famous doesn't automatically qualify you to make autocue pronouncements about anything. In fact I think you're just quoting the sort of people who try to market expensive and useless weight-loss products".
Miss Zarake declined to discuss her latest fashion shoot for CRYPT BABES magazine when she was likened to "a skeleton draped in expensive rags" and said she was "determined to put some meat on these bones come hell or high water".
As a quick and easy alternative to designer malnutrition she went on to recommend fatty foods such as lard, clotted cream, burgers, butter, pork scratchings, gold-top milk, and of course Cornish pasties, but maintained that she would return to her preferred diet of grass, low fat water, celery, and woodpulp as soon as she reached her target weight of five stone.
BBC One Show presenters Nick and Alison were unavailable for comment having retired to Nick's dressing room for a glass or two of Merlot and a quick shag.