Written by Charpa93
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Wednesday, 16 March 2011

image for Lack of Good News Spells Doom for Last Good News Channel

Good4You News has announced today that it will no longer be airing good news stories on the internet. The 'round the clock good news channel was the last of its kind and was hanging on for dear life when the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster trifecta hit Japan.

"We were down to rescued puppy and kitten stories, but were still able to eke a living out of the site," said Stan Goodman, director of Good4You News. "But when the news from Japan just got worse and worse, even the 'Grandma, 73, Gets MBA' story wasn't enough to deflect all the horrible headlines, and we had to throw in the towel."

Goodman was asked what he's going to do now that he no longer runs a good news channel on the internet and he replied, "Well, the wind has pretty much been knocked out of my sails, and, of course, you don't make nearly as much money on good news as you do bad news, so I'm not going to be able to retire just yet."

Goodman says he wants to take what little money he has saved up and buy an RV van. He wants to travel across country one last time to see if he can find any good news at least to blog about. "I got faith the stories are out there but getting to them isn't gonna be easy. For instance, I'd love to go to Arizona but that state's governor is going through some kind of humanity crisis and, unless I can turn a mud boggin' story into something special, I'd just as soon steer clear of Missouri."

Goodman is aware that blogging is not the same as a full-fledged news channel, but he believes there is still a niche that needs to be filled and he's determined to try. Unfortunately, his wife just told him that she wants a divorce, his dog's run away and been gone for days, and he lost his part-time job at the Wal-mart which is gonna make it tough to get the RV road-ready and keep it gassed up with the gas prices so high these days. But Goodman has a plan of selling his blog posts and getting odd jobs in the various towns he visits.

Before he leaves the studio one last time, Goodman catches a kindly scene out the window of his office.. "Oh look, is that a boy scout helping an elderly woman across the street?" Goodman turned back to me and wiped a tear from his eye without noticing the boy had just snatched grandma's purse and she was chasing him down with her cane.

"If nothing else, said Goodman, this will be an adventure," he said as he turned to leave the studio one last time.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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