Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 March 2011

image for Julianne Moore To Portray Sarah Palin In The Movie "Game Change" - Moore Begins The Dumbing-Down Process Sarah Palin says she would have preferred that Scarlett Johansson play her. (Photo courtesy of V.P. Joe Biden).

HOLLYWOOD - Actress Julianne Moore has just informed the entertainment media that she has agreed to portray the former governor of Alaska Sarah Louise Palin in the motion picture Game Change.

The TouchRock film in association with TriMoon Pictures is being produced and directed by Martello Pellagrini.

Moore said that the role will be one of the biggest acting challenges of her acting career, as she will really have to focus on the dumbing down process.

She laughed and said that she heard that Sarah Palin was not pleased with the fact that Moore who is three years older than old "Crosshairs" will be portraying her.

Julianne told Taffeta Kixx of iGossip that it was her understanding that the ex-future mother-in-law of Levi Johnston had expressed her desire that she would have preferred a younger actress to portray her.

When "Snowflake" was asked who, she replied, "Well ya know, a prettier girl like Scarlett Johansson, Audrina Patridge, or maybe even Brooklyn Decker."

Palin was told that Johansson is 26, Patridge is 25, and Decker is 23. She reportedly got all testy and asked "And your point is what gosh darnit?"

When "Shotgun" Sarah was told that the point was that she's eleven years older than Johansson she became very huffy and said that, that is the reason she has never liked Hollywood because it is all about what the producers and directors want.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Well duh!]

Julianne was asked how she plans to prepare for playing the part of a woman who is more at home out in the wild frozen wilderness, wearing men's smelly hunting clothes, and peeing while standing up than she is being in the kitchen, dressed like a normal American woman, and sitting down to pee.

Moore laughed and said that, that is where the tremendous acting challenge is going to come in. She said that she is going to have to force herself to act like a cross between Buffalo Bill's sister, Bison Betty, and the muscular as hell, manly looking Williams sisters Venus and Serena.

She added that she is also going to have to really dumb down and pretend that she knows absolutely nothing at all about geography.

She mentioned that she has already been practicing some of "Dog Sled" Palin's more commonly known phrases such as, "Rhode Island? Oh yes, it's an island located out in the Pacific somewhere near Hawaii and Peru."

Julianne has also practiced one of the Palinista's more recent faux paus when she was asked if she knew where West Virginia was located and she answered, "Of course silly goose - everyone knows that West Virginia is just to the right of East Virginia duhhh."

Also starring in the film will be Johnny Depp as Todd Palin, Miley Cyrus as Bristol Palin, Steve Martin as Senator John McCain, Jessica Simpson as Cindy McCain, Denzel Washington as President Obama, and Queen Latifah as "First Mama" Michelle Obama.

Britney Spears was originally going to appear as Cindy McCain but she had to drop out when she learned she was allergic to moose droppings.

The film will be R-rated due to the explicitly expletive language of three of the Palin females, Sarah, Bristol, and Willow.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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