Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 March 2011

image for Paris Hilton Is Devastated That Her Brand New Homing Pigeon Did Not Come Home Paris Hilton's yacht, the SS Money Money Money, which her daddy bought her for her 21st birthday.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Paris Hilton called up her therapist and scheduled an unscheduled therapy session.

The Southern California socialite whose biggest worry has always been whether to charge something on her VISA card or her MasterCard is heartbroken over the fact that her brand new homing pigeon Mr. Wing Wing left his pigeon roost two days ago and has not returned.

Hilton said that usually when Mr. Wing Wing would fly off he would always return within three hours, four at the most.

Paris, who is 30, said that the bird was a gift from Bristol Palin of all people. Hilton noted that she was shocked when she first saw the card since she has never talked to Bristol and she actually stated in an interview with The Left Coast Mirror Magazine that young Palin was the worst dancer she had ever seen in the history of Dancing With The Stars.

Hilton went on to say that the only reason Bristol made it all the way to third place was because of all of the votes that she received from the members of her mom's TeaBaggers Party.

Paris has asked Tittle Tattle Tonight and Bedroom Pillow Talk to announce that she is offering a reward for the safe return of Mr. Wing Wing.

She giggled and said that she is offering $500 if the finder is a female or a big French kiss if the finder is a male. She giggled and said that if the finder is a female, but of the lesbianite persuasion, then the individual can certainly request to receive the French kiss in lieu of the $500.

Paris did want to point out that Mr. Wing Wing will also answer to three other names as well, Wingy, FeatherBoy, and Skipper.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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